Hi everyone,
I’d love some outside perspective on a recent situation with my daughter’s secondary school because I’m really questioning whether I’m being unreasonable here.
My daughter’s phone has parental controls that restrict internet access during school hours—she can only make calls or send messages in case of an emergency. Last week, she spent about 20 minutes in a single class sending me voice notes, asking me to unlock her internet access because her teacher had apparently asked the students to use an educational app. When I saw these messages, I immediately thought something was wrong and even had to step out of a work meeting to try to reach the school and understand what was happening. I couldn’t speak to her teacher directly, but I eventually got responses through email.
From the school’s reply, I found out that while their policy "prohibits phone use in class," teachers sometimes use educational apps at their discretion. The teacher explained that students are supposed to stay focused on the task and that she tries to monitor this, but admitted that she hadn’t noticed my daughter using her phone to message me over the 20 minutes. She also added that, because my daughter was in a group, she technically didn’t need her own phone to participate—yet she still asked the class to use their phones. In the end, the teacher said she would be more vigilant with monitoring next time, but that was the only action suggested - nothing else.
Here’s where I feel conflicted. It’s hard for me to feel comfortable lifting the parental controls during school hours. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the school to provide any necessary devices if they want students to use apps for learning. I want to be supportive of the school, but I’m struggling with this blurred line around phone use in class.
Am I being unreasonable here? Would you be comfortable with this arrangement, or would you respond further to the school? I’d really appreciate any advice or outside perspective on how others would handle this.