Bullying at new school

[MumnMore]

My son has started a new school. He is in day 3. So far, he’s had a group circle him, same group kick in his toilet door and threaten to attack him after school. He is in Y11 and keeps saying he’s fine and can deal with it. He doesn’t want to be labelled a snitch. Teachers have seen the tension and have advised him to “ignore them”. I’m worried it will escalate. He’s completely on his own and has spent lunch in the toilet.
I don’t really know why I’m posting but I feel powerless to help and guilty for sending him in.

This is bloody awful

You need to tell the school. I suggest his head of year/house.

Do you know why they have started on him? Does he know? Poor kid.

Was there a particular reason for changing school in year 11 that has followed him? For instance do the kids know of him already from friends at a different school? It seems quite extreme for a bunch of Year 11s who don't know him.

Either way it is obviously completely unacceptable and you need to contact the Head of year.

He needs to report it, or you do. The school cannot help if they don't know what is going on.

And as for 'snitch' ! really ! What decent school allows the concept of snitching to be tolerated. Does one snitch on a shop lifter? Or a drug dealer? Or a murderer?

If that's the standard of school and pupils at 16, I'd pull him out and send him somewhere better.

He doesn’t know and I don’t know. The school is in a close-knit area and he’s an unknown face but it still makes no sense to me. I feel terrible for him.

He changed school because we had to move area quite suddenly. It really isn’t ideal in Year 11 but bullying didn’t even cross my mind. He is shocked this is happening too.
He’s almost 16! I suppose I expected kids to have more maturity at this point and to not start on someone for no reason.

Nobody could know him or anything about him. He’s had great praise from teachers and he likes the lessons but feels he always has to watch his back which must be awful.

After the toilet incident, he went into student services (to get a timetable) but I think he was seeking refuge! The kids were shouting ‘snitch’ at him then. And he was advised to ignore them.
I don’t see it as snitching of course.
This is the only school in the area with spaces and so many are not willing to accept a student in Y11.

God this honestly breaks my heart !
Poor boy .
I absolutely hate bullies . You really need to speak to the school and maybe even the school governors .
Does the school have an anti bullying policy? If so please ask to see it .
Your son is in his most important year . Poor lad my heart goes out to him .
I really hope you manage to get it sorted .
Thinking of you both

I'm so sorry for your son. My DS started secondary school recently and another boy started bullying him about his physical appearance and the fact he's under senco. DS was so worried about making it worse if he told a teacher and kept saying I'll do it tomorrow but never did. I ended up emailing the school and explained why DS hasn't said something himself. School contacted me and said they were taking it seriously but understand DS concerns so they told the bully that a teacher had overheard him. They didn't mention DS name so if he was doing it to other kids too, he wouldn't know who they were refering to and would hopefully stop completely. This worked really well. DS was given names of people to approach if he needed to and the pastorals are making themselves more present and seen in-between lessons and at breaks.
I really hope these bullies can be stopped and your DS manages to settle into his new school and makes some good friends.

Were the staff telling him to ignore the snitch comments and not ignore the other bullying behaviour?

Your poor boy
Maybe not good advice but what I would do is send his dad outside school at home time and get him to scare the shit out of the lot of them.
Apologies if this is insensitive and dad isn't on the scene x

Poor boy. Not only has he had to deal with moving during an important year, he's now dealing with bullies too.

It must be so difficult for you too. I would suggest you urgently contact the head of year and arrange to have a meeting with them to address this issue. The school must have a bullying policy and dealt with this type of behaviour previously. Maybe this group are known bullies.

Has he made any friends yet? I would have thought the school would have paired him up with someone in his tutor group to help him find his feet. Could you maybe suggest that? At least then he won't be on his own at lunch and break times.

If this isn't resolved, would you consider homeschooling? I know it's not always the best option for everyone.

Wishing your son all the best

16 year-old bullies are not scrednof peoples Dads anymore.

They may not be 'scared' of dads anymore, but many bullies will back off if they know a child has proper and consistant 'back up' who will keep an eye on them, try to work out who their parents are (to have words) and therefore get them into trouble. I know this is effective as one of the dads at my son's school more or less 'scoped me out' upon meeting me the first time, not knowing if my son was the bully who kept on harrassing his son (There is a slight resemblance) My son was in no shape or form the bully!

This is ridiculous.

Not least because year 11's don't have their parents waiting at the school gate ready to be 'scoped out'

Thank you for your kind words.....
I was 'scoped out' at the parents evening.

They'd be scared of my children's dad otherwise I wouldn't of said it 😂 @Littletreefrog

Op, I think this is the point I'd get very loud and pointy elbowed as a parent.

I'd report the incident in writing to their head of pastoral care and their head teacher and ask them specifically what they intend to do about it.
I'd request a copy of their anti-bullying policy
Then I'd ring them daily to ask if that policy had been followed, until I got a sensible reply. Make it clear I wasn't going away until I got that answer.

I'd report any further incidents in detail and request in writing, a meeting with the head of year or the HT.
If I wasn't satisfied, I'd put in a complaint to the governors and if relevant, the LEA.
And then if they still refused to do anything, I'd check among the parents for other victims - because there will be other victims - and then I'd take the school's inaction to the local paper.

Shit like this makes too many children's lives a misery.

Contact the school.

They can do what @@GandDiva's school did.

Or they can buddy him up.

I'm actually surprised they have not buddied him up with a popular student.

Believe it or not buddying up with the bully can work. The school basically makes the bully responsible for your DS's well being.