How to motivate Y10 child with no ambition

[Moneypennywise]

My partner has his daughter EOW and 50% of school hols but has limited contact in between (her choice). She has just started Y10 and is apparently expecting to get a 4 for maths. Her subject choices also seem pretty random and have already eliminated many options/pathways (combined science, art, Spanish, media studies, drama) - apparently she hadn’t received any advice on subject choices even though she could have done say, computer science, triple science etc. She says she wants to go into film studies but doesn’t show any particular passion or aptitude (e.g. building a portfolio).

I’ve bought her maths revision guides and workbooks to try and support her study. I’ve even offered to tutor her in maths to help pull up her grades (her mum isn’t good at maths and doesn’t take an interest in her studies, and she absolutely refuses help from her dad). She’s made half-hearted attempts to do the maths work but is well behind schedule and instead spends excessive amounts of time on TikTok etc. I’m torn between just giving up on her but I feel like it’s not too late to do something before she permanently closes off even more options. She seems willing to cut off her nose to spite her face (e.g. saying she’d rather fail than have me take credit for her doing well in maths) and apparently she’d rather stack shelves than study harder for a better-paying job (or at least more choices).

Any Y9/10/11 parents with advice on how to motivate or talk some sense into her? Is this a lost cause? I know it’s really her parents’ responsibility but I feel like I’m watching a car crash in slow motion.

My daughter isn’t taking a language but she is taking history. School would have liked her to take both. We talked a lot. She put her case forward. I let her drop Spanish for things she enjoys. She is likely to get a higher set of GCSE results without Spanish in the mix. Maybe your step daughters mum had a similar conversation. It doesn’t sound like STEM is her thing. It isn’t everyone’s and that’s ok.

One size does not fit all. You’re essentially telling her at 14 her life is ruined. It isn’t. She still has a mix of science , lang , maths and humanities. That’s great. She will probably be happier and more motivated doing it her way.

You don’t seem to be taking her own choices (the only ones she’s had for herself acedemicly so far) seriously. They’re her choices to make. Support her dont control her.

Apologies for bad spelling of academically above!

I haven't read all the replies but her options choices seem normal. The school will have set her according to her ability - top set in the earlier years is great, but if the work gets harder & she isn't finding things as easy it sounds right that she has dropped sets. It may not be about her not putting in effort. A 4 in maths is a pass & will allow her to go forward in college. I am a teacher - most of my Year 10s aren't yet motivated or know where they want to go in life, that is totally okay! I would stop putting pressure on her, support her but don't push, she will get there. If you push & pressure her she will likely go in the opposite direction. Times have changed since we went through the school system. I wouldn't be worried if my daughter was where she is right now. Encourage but don't pressure!

Her secondary school was terrible. She did have an amazing drama teacher though. Her school was very academic and my daughter wasn’t academic and they made her feel like it was pointless her being at school if your not academic . She did lots of drama throughout school ..but honestly wasn’t til her final year she put effort in.
I guess our way of thinking comes from my husband did year 10 twice and failed and I’m dyslexic and struggled. We have a multi million dollar company through hard work. Sometimes kids thrive in life out of school. My daughter also overcame an eating disorder and during that few hell years I just wanted her to be happy in life. Couldn’t care what she does in life but so long as it’s filled with love and happiness that’s all I could want for her.

dad needs to coordinate professional careers advice (psychometric testing with Morrisby or whatever) and you need to give the topic of careers/exams/study a wide birth to avoid any push back. Concentrate on building a better rapport.

@Moneypennywise a few points (some already covered above):
Does she know that if she fails (gets a 3 in maths) she'll have to retake until she gets a 4? or reaches 18? That might motivate her

If you are buying her books, make sure you know which GCSE board and level/exam she is (likely to be) doing. get her one correct one. If she is doing Foundation level then the Higher ones will just put her off. Too many books will overwhelm her - just start with one good one.

I would approach as looking at entry criteria for sixth form colleges that you think might interest her, then get a list of the entrance criteria.

If she says something like "you're just helping to me to get the credit" then just say you are trying to help her as you know she'll need the grade for maths to move onto the next level of education (ie sixth form) and be happy in the future

I would perhaps focus on making her feel good about herself ‘academically’ in other ways. I would for example discuss something to do with the news and current affairs, or an ethical or scientific issue.

When she discusses it with you, I would make comments on how interesting her points of views were or that she had highlighted areas that you had never thought about. Make her realise in a roundabout way that she has a sharp brain. It does not sound like focusing on academics is going to do much good at the moment and she will dig her heels in.