Private school wwyd

[Sweatvalleyhigh]

Dd1(16) and DD2(13). Dd1 was at local state, now starting college (school doesnt have 6th form). Dd1 had choice of private school when starting, but didn't want to go. DD2 at same local state school that dd1 has just left, but it has gone downhill since Dd1 started, to the point now where I'm really keen to move DD2. My reasons are numerous, but largely down to the size of school, and that big decisions being made on data that is often incorrect. Its cost my Dd1 her choice of A level and I have lost faith that even the sparse info I'm being told about progress etc is correct. Ultimately, ever changing teachers who seem to have no idea where she's at.

DD2 keen to move for other reasons, mainly disruption of lessons, and a few really nasty kids. She has friends, and that is why I haven't pulled her out sooner, but DD2 would still rather move now and have a fresh start.

There are 2 private schools nearby. Fees doable, but wouldn't be comfortable, which is why we held off moving her. When I contacted them earlier in the year, they had yr9 spaces, not sure if they still do. Neither hugely academic, but seem lovely.

Only state option locally would involving moving, and has same issues. Have discounted this as if move, would rather leave the town we are in altogether and move 2 hours away. This is our plan when kids leave school. If we could click our fingers and move there tomorrow, we would have done this, but it's too far and house selling felt so uncertain. I wonder everyday if this is what we should do! I've agonised over this really since before DD2 started secondary school and 3 years later, no further on.

However, out of the blue, we have had a windfall (£50k). Totally unexpected. This now makes school fees completely doable.

So now need to make a decision quickly. Do we move DD2? Wwyd?

I'd only consider private school if it was academically good, unless dd had some SEN.

Private school for DD2 and give private 6th form option to DD1?

Could you use the £50k to make the house move possible? Eg more choice of houses to buy, and could accept a lower offer for your sale - so it could happen more quickly.

What would it mean for DD1 if you moved? You said she has missed out on her choice of A level - could you get her into a school/college where she could do the one she wanted? Could you move her into a new school in time to start within a couple of weeks?

Maybe using part of that £50k for temporary accommodation. Possibly a very small place for just one parent and DD1 whilst the other stays in your current house with DD2 at her existing school until you sell? Age 13 (year 9?) seems a less critical time to miss a couple of months, although would be good to move her as quickly as possible too, if you could afford bigger temp accommodation.

Understand what you're trying to solve - and what you want most - first. Don't put the solution in front of the problem.

It sounds like what you actually want is to live in the other town and have good state schools for your girls where they can study what they want, more than wanting specifically what private schools provide.

Think about what your ideal scenario would be, then see if you can use the £50k to make that happen.

I think you shouldn't waste money on a so-so private school.

Move as soon as you can to the other area.

Thanks for responses so far. Most important issue to me is school. The house move is secondary - no great state options in new town either, if anything worse than current schools. So new town would mean private school as well. By not hugely academic, I mean I don't think they are super-selective. e.g DD1 could get in with their gcse results, but not sure they could in new town's school.

DD2 back at school this week and more adamant than ever about leaving. There's suspected neurodiversity, but unsure how to evidence this at school given they don't really seem to know who she is (but that's a whole other thread).

A friend did similar and for similar reasons. The private school looked lovely, but their DD was bullied and didn't thrive at all. In the end (at their DD's request), they moved her back to the state school. She's doing really well there now. Obviously I have no idea if you'd find similar or not, but just thought I'd lob in a word of caution!

I know you said school fees are now doable, but you have taken into account the Government's imposition of 20% VAT on private school fees from January?

This is definitely a fear! As above, she's got friends, and certainly isn't (currently) miserable. Feels like a huge risk to move her and potentially have a worse situation. But then not sure I can deal with another 3+ years of feeling I've failed her because I/we chose a crappy school in the first place. If there was no other option I think I'd feel better, but there are (especially now).

Keep in mind the cost could be 50% more than current fees x years left if you factor in 20% VAT, normal inflationary cost increases and trips etc.