Routine to help teen with ADHD to knuckle down more?

[Echobelly]

Posting here as just not enough traffic on SEN forums!

DS (13) has inattentive ADHD and is on meds and they do help, but his tendency with written work is to skim read the questions, sometimes misunderstand them and answer the wrong thing, and to give brief, non-descriptive answers, although speech-wise he's very articulate and he is very bright.

Not surprisingly with ADHD (I know this is a thing) DS's brain just does not reward him for 'job well done' on learning tasks. DH gets exasperated that DS 'doesn't seem to care' and I keep trying to explain why and I think DS's ADHD gives him more learning challenges that DH's gave him as a child (DH doesn't have diagnosis but it's pretty clear he has ADHD as well), but that's by the by.

The one thing we have never managed well is consistency - DH because of his ADHD, me because I am running my life and the lives of two people with ADHD! I think we need to try, and maintain, a proper consistent routine of all devices being in the lounge when he gets home from school and him doing homework for a set time before there is any screen time. While checking in on him frequently to check he isn't stuck and staring into thin air. So if he has no internal motivation (for understandable reasons) we can at least offer him the carrot of screens after a few hours?

Does this sound like something that will help? Anyone else with ADHD teens who just cannot get down to it have any tips?

Does interaction help? So for example, if you came in every 30 minutes to ask what he’s doing and talk about next steps would that help?

One of the adjustments that adults with ADHD sometimes have at work is a buddy that checks in with them regularly to help them prioritise and plan their workload. Because people with ADHD generally like interaction they get some reward from the engagement and they generally don’t experience it as someone micro-managing them. I guess the key is behaving like a buddy in these parents rather than a frustrated parent, which might not always be easy.

I realise that this is actually very labour intensive for you/ DH so don’t know how practical it is but I think these kind of approaches are usually well received by adults with ADHD. I’m not sure how it is with teenagers.

Having a set period like this can help, but talk to your DS and try different things to find what works. Give him input and make it about finding an efficient structure so he can get his work/study done quickly and effectively

• He may really need a decompression period before studying - 30 minutes of screen time, or outside time, whatever. Something extremely low-demand.
• Experiment with different locations and setups. He may work best somewhere quiet, he may need music, he may need to be in a room with someone else who is being productive, to read a text while sitting on a stationary bike, etc.
• Figure out a break schedule that works for him, and set him up with a timer. Consider one pre-dinner study session and one after instead of a single long one.

This won't work in isolation and will likely only prompt more frustration and avoidance if he doesn't know how to productively use this time. Learning effective study techniques will be vital, so dig into resources on that and make it a priority. This can often be more worthwhile than subject-specific tutoring.

Please avoid (and encourage your DH to avoid) phrases like knuckle-down. They point to laziness as the culprit.

Thanks for ideas @AGoingConcern and @AGoingConcern

'Knuckle down' was just a figure of speech for thread - I never use that language about DS and I am always telling DH not to call him lazy or tell him he needs to start working harder etc because every account of childhood from every ADHD adult ever pretty much mentions how dispiriting it was to be feeling like you were trying so hard and then being told you are lazy. Way to teach a kid they may as well not bother!

I got my ds to get into the habit of underlining the key words in a question and circle the requirements.

We tried lots of different routines, but by the time DS was in Year 9, this is what worked…

Sport after school every day. Either squad practice or running or the gym.
Dinner at 6pm - earlier than we would have liked, but it helped him.
Homework/revision from 6.30-8.30. I worked next to him at the kitchen table (marking etc) and he used a 25 min timer before a 5 min movement break (skipping rope/squats/resistance bands).
8.30 outside for dog walk/trip to corner shop for milk etc.
9.00 Shower, wind down, watch a bit of Friends/Big Bang
9.45 in bed. Morning Alarm went at 6.45am.

We had it drilled into us at school....RTQ. Read the question. When we got older more skills around how to plan and structure/how to answer questions were taught. I had to self teach myself quite a bit. I write for work and use a mixture of mindmapping/brainstorming, bullet points, standard templates, tips like start the answer with the question ( what are the main ways that ... = the main ways that ... ). ANC headphones. For low stimulation tasks, high energy music. For complex tasks, focus music. Body doubling websites like Focus Mate (a fair few older teens use these for revision etc.). Pomodoro technique. Sensory regulation breaks and daily physical activity. Having a creative activity where mind is free to wander.

I don't find praise or reward very helpful because it's very hard for anyone to reward the small step I took that was big for me because its often something that comes naturally for them so they don't see it or don't see it at the time. It also kills my motivation because I'm mainly just interested in learning not the outcome. Or I already got the dopamine from achieving the outcome so its too much. But the phrase well done, we are proud of you, that's good to hear.

Maybe asking how it's going, what has gone well, what could go better.

Learning study skills is key IMHO.

Often with ADHD you have to see the whole picture first then break it back down to understand the steps. This is gestalt language processing. So it's often just about time and practise - the more practise exam questions etc. you can do the better. Practise practise practise. What would take a NT person 1 attempt, give it 3 attempts :) Requires patience.
Pick the battles/priorities. You don't need to be perfect in everything. 80% effort is FINE.

Routine is incredibly helpful for ADHD, arund things like food, sleep, daylight, breaks

Also about learning to work and apply skills in different contexts. So diverse and challenging experiences.

Smart But Scattered Guide to Success For Teenagers may be helpful too. I have the adults version that EAP recommended me.

The doc who diagnosed DS recommended the original Smart But Scattered to us. I got part way though it, very interesting, did the quiz bit about my strengths and deficits, DH said he was 'too scared' to do it and nothing else ever happened. I picked the book up again and I think I should tell DH he needs to do the test and read the book.

DS doesn't like any sports- DH has been known to send him out to ride his bike or for a run (the latter DH especially hates). He's not very coordinated so team sports aren't for him. But sounds worth trying to find somet he'd like. Having finally managed kayaking at scouts he quite liked that, we have also considered self defense.

Have tried pomodoro but yet again only the one time and weren't very consistent. 😑

Having finally managed kayaking at scouts he quite liked that, we have also considered self defense.

Sports with an element of risk are good. That's maybe why kayaking worked and self defense is a good call. Also horse riding, climbing, wild swimming etc.

With DD we 'play to strengths' rather than notice deficits. So that verbally good hyperfocus, use that. Get him to record himself talking about a subject and transcribe it. Have more than one stream going at a time. I study best when the TV is on, music is playing etc. Weird for NT people, works for me. Cramming also works for ADHD people.

What is Smart but Scattered? Is it a book?

I did try him working with some music once - youtube has lots of chillout streams, some of which are based on music from his favourite Nintendo games, so that worked well when we tried it.

He can enjoy sports but it's a lot of effort. It was his third kayaking trip with Scouts before he cracked it and wasn't just upset he couldn't do it properly. But I was very proud of him for persevering.

@vincettenoir - yes, it's a book.

I was talking to DH this evening about arranging things so we can be consistent. DH are both mostly WFH (but may change as DH is looking for a new job) and my new job is a lot more demanding than my last one, so I'm think maybe focus on him having early dinner 6ish (which he does anyway) and work after that at an hour we can check in with him.

Only DH can really deal with supporting science, maths and French as I have forgotten everything about the first two and was never that good in the first place (DH is a physics grad) and I never learned French. I guess I had better take drama, English and History.

Climbing is the sport for him, solo, problem solving and uses all of the body.

It sounds alot like DS is left to his own alot, he may well benefit from body doubling so you sit at the table and both do a similar thing, whether you read a book or do a crossword. The point is he isnt alone.

A timer for each activity can be very useful or make things worse.

Get involved with the revision so you learn alongside him, have him play YouTube revision videos on the big TV so you can as him questions Thug Notes is good for English analysis and Sean Donnelly is always a cult hit with freesciencevideos for AQA science.DD makes revision cards and colour codes them by subject and then we play trivial pursuit but with her cards as the questions.

Reward your self before you do a task.

DD has a plastic tub with her revision books and highlighters in, I put a packet of oreos or sweets in it Sunday night, she can then munch on them whilst she works during the week.

Be aware the just because your DH is a physics grad doesn't mean he'll be good at helping him with physics, it's more likely he'll over complicate any explanations and then get frustrated with him.

I also make sure DD has the text books at home, this isn't a cheap option as they are often £30 a pop but useful to have the same thing at home as they have at school.

For DS we found he couldn’t work alone in his room, much better to be at the kitchen table while I cooked dinner so I could refocus him and keep checking he was on task.

Some sort of planner / timetable as he was incapable of organising his own homework/ revision.

DS is also terrible at team sports, but climbing was always successful. He likes solo sports like swimming and cycling. We also put a punch bag in the garden so he could go and let off steam after completing a piece of homework!

BBC Bitesize has some excellent GCSE podcasts, these made a change from sitting at a desk and can be listened to in the car or on a walk.

Yeah, I think doing homework somewhere communal may be better. We have an open plan lounge area and DH tends to be in it and often watching something in the evening, but he can move to the front room.

DS actually seems to be decent and getting his homework done, but he'll misread his questions or write very minimal answers (where the spelling and punctuation isn't as good as he is capable of) to open questions so we're wanting to work on that before he enters GCSE years.

@Echobelly past papers and the markschemes are freely available on the exam board website, make sure you know which exam board he is using and then you can both look at the past paper and see what is actually being asked of him and how he is supposed to answer the questions.

You will also find the examiners report which gives an analysis of student misconceptions / success when answering the questions.

As a teacher, the highlighter pen is your friend here. Encourage him to highlight key words in questions and instructions and check he understands the difference between command words like "state", "explain", "describe", "analyse" etc.
If his answers are too brief, try the bullet point chain method. Excuse the example being from Economics!

E.g.

Why does economic growth lead to inflation?

Because people spend more

Vs (adding a definition of key terms, what, how and why)

Economic growth is an increase in the productive potential of the economy
Inflation is a general rise in prices
When the economy grows people are more likely to have a job
So they are more likely to spend their new wage
They can now consume luxuries ad well as necessities
This increases demand for all sorts of products
Suppliers can't make products fast enough
Prices therefore rise across the economy as more consumers compete for the available goods
This may also mean the cost of inputs goes up for producers
That can lead to further inflation as they need to cover their increased costs

Some students respond to competition talk. "The examiner is trying to outwit you. Don't let them!"

Not much to contribute but my DD loved an app called Study Bunny. She really struggles to work consistently and regularly but this app probably got her through her GCSE revision. It helped me realise she responded well to knowing she was notching up time spent on each subject and it displayed that quite nicely in the app so she could feel she was making progress.

That looks right up DS's street @bingobluey78 - he loves cute things and I think he'd like the bunny mascot.

It's very cute and you earn rewards for your bunny and stuff to decorate his room 😂

Oh yeah, he'd love that!