Etiquette for exam results

[Bellaboot]

My eldest will be receiving his GCSE results next Thursday like all others. I have quite a few friends whose children would have received A level yesterday.

I'm just wondering what is normal for friends and colleagues to ask about the results, do people ask and do you share details? Am I supposed to ask friends how their DC got on, out of politeness or is it not the done thing.

I'm not from the UK and I'm not that interested in others but I don't want to appear uncaring or uninterested.

I would ask questions like, how are they getting on with their uni place? Or how are you? Or what did you get up to yesterday? (Meaning were you celebrating or crying 😂). I wouldn’t ask directly what the grades were unless it was a very very close friend.

I think it’s fine to share the grades if you (well your DC) don’t mind yourself but rude to ask specifically. Also don’t ask the 18 yo directly until you know if it’s celebration or not from the parent!

I always think it’s better to ask whether they’re happy with what they got - sometimes people will reel off grades and what’s good for one person isn’t for another.

But yes - are they happy with what they got, what’s next for them, are perfectly normal questions, and expected in my circles at least.

I would ask how they got on, leaving them to respond with as much or as little
detail as they wish. I would probably word it more like hope all went well with the results.

I would just say "hope Sam was happy with his results" or " what are Sam's plans now after A-levels?" rather than "what results did Sam get?"

It's polite to enquire how things went if the parents are good friends/close colleagues

Sharing the actual grades on social media is a bit crass IMHO

Having had to go through this quite a few times I would say there is definitely an etiquette. Nobody shares grades unless the child themselves decides too. It's either a question of are they happy with their result or where they are going uni wise.

I agree I'd go with "are they happy with what they got?" or "did they get the results they wanted?". Don't expect to be told exact results (although some people reel them off which always amazes me - it's not their information to share).

It's also ok (having established they were happy) to ask about what their DC's plans are next. Do not assume they are going to university.
Although, if you are close enough to the friend/colleague to politely ask, you will probably know about future plans already.

And be prepared for the ones that post on SM how proud they are of little X (fine) and reel off 11 x 9s or whatever. There's always one or two nightmare mothers doing this. You'll know in advance who it will be from primary school. Crass and also unfair on their kid who didnt authorise it and might not want to head into 6th form with everyone calling them a nerd and also insensitive as they know sone people's kids won't have done as well. Avoid these people.

I think you can normally tell if the results are brilliant by the big grins for days afterwards. Otherwise it’s general contentment for did good, or worried and gloomy faces for bad,

but seriously. I normally would say, have you had your results yet are you happy? What’s your plans now ? Or a glum face, how are you doing ? Have you plans / made decisions for the end of summer ? If you’ve read the face wrong you can always rescue with a that’s brilliant I’m so pleased for you you must be so excited.

Yes I agree with others - for A levels I ask "did they do OK" or "did they get what they needed?" (ie for uni usually).

I only ask if I see the parent tho or if I am closely involved in some way. I would never seek someone out to ask.

For GCSEs I would say something like "I hope they did OK?" or similar. Would never ask grades. Would never reveal grades. A friend put all their DC's grades on FB which I found odd tbf. DD would tell you she doesn't even know exactly what degrees some friends got.

Same as PP, I'd just say 'hope they did ok', or in a face to face 'how did they get on?', leaving it open for them to say more if they want.

I didn't put anything on social media for any of mine, I see lots of posts of 'so proud of x and y who smashed their a levels' etc but it's not for me. I just think it's a bit crass (and clumsy - someone I know texted everyone with how amazingly her kid did, inevitably including people whose kids had been disappointed... couple years on she has a second kid who had problems and missed a lot of school and was markedly different in her approach...)

You mean on real life or on social media?
In real life I only mentioned it to close family/friends or folk who've taken a keen interest/been supportive with a particular aspect. I don't actually ask beyond 'and does he/she know what he/she fancies doing next?'
On social media, where I have a very small FB circle (family who don't live close) and slightly wider IG circle (family and friends), I just said something like 'we're proud of [insert child name] - got what he needs/wants to move on to [insert next stage].'
I hate the 'got [insert number of all top grades], he/she deserves this', accompanied by filtered poses of the student type posts. Lots of students work hard and deserve good grades, but not everything gets amazing results!
We're in Scotland so results day well over for this year. 😁

Wow thanks so much everyone. Yes I mean in real life, I wouldn't dream of posting anything on SM. It does appear socially acceptable to ask how they went politely and let the child lead the way.

Good luck to all those waiting for next Thursday!