Guilt of moving schools

[Whatsernom]

We are currently at a ok to good private girls school but with the new Labor government meaning VAT on school fees we can't really afford to keep sending our 13 year old there anymore. Especially as we have an 11 year old who will be going into Year 8 in Sep 2025. This is too much of a financial burden despite the fact that both me and mu husband earn 100k each. We have one school near us (Gordon's in West End) which we did not get into. They are oversubscribed every year and despite living in the area for 10 years newbies have moved into the new developments nearby which ousted us out. I am so torn with moving her. The only choice we now have is Collingwood. I keep hearing mixed things about this school - mainly negative. I feel awful and wish we had thought all this through before. Perhaps moving closer to Gordons or just to a completely different area. Anyone in and around the West End/ Bisley area who can offer advice and some words of wisdom. A huge part of me feels like a failure for not having thought this through.

It's not about being 'ok in a state school like all other children' it's about being moved away from all your friends to a school potentially miles away from home with little to no notice.

But people are trying to reassure the OP, what would you prefer they say?

Comments like welcome to the real world aren't exactly supportive or reassuring

I live in the same county as OP and my annual school fees (pre VAT) are c£22k pa per child (we have 2). Plus lunches, trips etc. So yeah, we spend close to £50k pa on school. Schools are in the south east and paying wages and costs accordingly - fees don’t vary that much.

She described it as “OK to good” BTW.

Well yes obviously but some people still believe it is an attempt to improve state schools

But she clearly said she didn’t get into the closest good state school and the only other state option was not good so maybe at the time the ‘ok to good’ option seemed preferable.

Comments like welcome to the real world aren't exactly supportive or reassuring

Where did I claim that was @Blankscreen? I replied to your post about moving schools which the OP may have to do. Again in that context what would you like posters to say?

OP, hope you have received some good advice from the posters who seem to know the local schools. Moving, renting, timing - all big considerations.

Please ignore the gloating, sarcastic posters - I am always amazed over how mean some people are with regards to the public /private debate.

I would say that I do believe that your DD will be fine once you are moving forwards with whichever plan you settle on. My DC’s friends / children they come in contact with have a huge variety in ethnic backgrounds /socioeconomic backgrounds (long story but mixture of sports, schools, and hobbies). Some of the friends’ families are incredibly wealthy, two families are making their sons do a huge amount of sports in order to ensure that they are kept away from gang violence (very bad neighbourhood).

The one common factor - and that is the point of this post- between the lovely, grounded children (luckily the ones our DCs are friends with) is parental involvement. Most of the less pleasant children, such as the bullies, the children with anger management issues, etc have either troubled parents or less involved parents.

Your concern shows (I believe) that you are a lovely mum and with your encouragement and support your DD will thrive, both academically and socially.

It is not like that. Any left wing parties in this world are about addingbtaxes for the rich and more centralised state power. And any right wing parties are about smaller taxes for the rich so they can invest in the market. This exists in every capitalist country.
The state schools are underfunded because Tories did cut the spending on schools. Labour wants to reverse it. Where to get money from? Left wing will always find it in taxes for those who have more money: private schools. Robin Hood - takes from rich and give to poor.

So it is not that they don't like private schools. They need private schools and rich people for taxes. It is just a different political agenda.

It is completely because they don't like private schools!
Raynor and Reeves are both on record saying they want to end all selective education (grammars and private) and Raynor has been videoed whooping with joy when they talked about closing all private schools. You only have to look at the divisive language used throughout the election to describe private schools and their pupils.
This is 100% ideological dressed up with faux concern about state schools. If they were serious about state schools they would be moving to increase funding per pupil across the country but they aren't. They are tinkering around the edges. Reeves has schools in her region closed for over 12 months now due to RAAC with kids being taught in tents. She refuses to engage with those schools or fight for them. Don't tell me she cares about the standard of state education!!

were serious about state schools they would be moving to increase funding per pupil across the country but they aren't.

The plan is that they add VAT on private and increase funding on state ( derived from that tax). How can you be not aware of their plans?!
None political party really cares but the basic of any left wing party in any country is Robin Hood idea

Do you really think that right wing cares? Nobody does

I am afraid that this is true… State schools needs a lot more resources. So far the increase in teachers salaries’ (important) and junior doctors’ salaries (also important) is costing billions and billions of pounds. The green initiative by Ed Milliband is also in the range of billions of pounds.

additional support to schools seems to rely on this one, inadequately costed policy - which may bring very little money once movements are taken into account.

but it is making several posters here happy, so….

No they aren't increasing funding on state in any meaningful way. They are using VAT as a way of raising a tiny amount to tinker with BUT in reality this won't come near the £1.3-5 billion they predicted and likely to come in at £0-0.5 billion once exemptions, costs etc have been accounted for (more exemptions are being added in each week)
With this they are going to pay for:
6500 teachers
Free breakfast clubs
Mental health support in all schools
SLT leadership programmes

Please........!!!! There should have been a full financial investigation and a cost/benefit analysis into this policy (not the flawed IFS policy which has had holes poked in it by following papers) but Labour have so far refused to do this. Will be interesting to see the results of the consultation as I know many SEN charities are incredibly concerned.

The reason Tony Blair was successful is because he didn’t piss off richer people. They understood they needed them. They spend more and pay more in taxes. What they are not doing is having more dc. It’s too expensive. Attacking those who create the most wealth and employ others is always a mistake but the Labour left don’t learn. Now they don’t care about DC having to change schools. It’s not acceptable and they should concentrate on teacher shortages. Pay isn’t the only reason people don’t want to teach!

I say don't move them. Friends are important. Move house instead to make your outgoings less in that direction.

You are talking as if I was Labour party and you tried to convince me. I was just explaining to you that it is not based on infantile idea of " they don't like private schools". Political parties care about themselves. And what they do is just a show. Show by Tories to cut the civil servants after Blair. Now Robin Hood show take from private and give to state. It is not about of it is enough or not. It is about movement that people will believe in. Never mind the logic
Robin Hood would not exist without the rich. Who would he take the money from? So don't tell me that they don't need the " badies" the rich and they don't like it. They do. They need it for the game

And I'm "just explaining to you" that it is 100% based on the principle that this Labour government wants to attack and abolish private schools.
Blair and New Labour left private and grammar schools alone for a reason yet they still managed to successfully fund state schools. It isn't the fault of private schools that the state sector is under funded.

@AdultChildQuestion Sometimes that’s very difficult. It costs to move house too and sometimes the cost differential isn’t that big. You will pay legal fees, agent fees and stamp duty too! You need quite a big differential to get the VAT element for 3 dc for 14 years.

@twistyizzy Blair did withdraw the assisted school places incentive

Sorry yes you are correct!

@twistyizzy
And I'm "just explaining to you" that it is 100% based on the principle that this Labour government wants to attack and abolish private schools.

I don't believe in it for an inch. Who would be the " Bad ones"then? Who would "Robin Starmer" take from to give to "the poor"?

UK has unbelievable income from boarding schools full of kids from abroad.
They will never ever resign from private schools

Fine, don't believe me. I won't lose any sleep over it but you may want to check out the historical statements and speeches from Raynor and Reeves. All readily available as is the Labour conference vote to abolish private schools (before they realised that they couldn't just do that).

Link please

Do your own research. I've put links up on many of these kind of posts before. Look up her 2018 statement as an example

If anyone thinks that vat on private schools is going to create in any way enough £ to improve funding for state education they have obv not looked at the updated stats that show that it’ll most likely generate less than half of what Labour anticipated. If all their economic policies are this out of whack with reality I’m not holding out much hope for public services in general🙈

Sorry you're in this predicament OP. I work in education and I think I would move into the catchment of a smaller state school with a good reputation if that were possible. I'm not in London, so unfortunately can't advise on the specifics, other than to say that although not ideal, a lot of pupils move throughout their school lives and the vast majority settle in very well. The time when it becomes difficult is in years 10 and 11 when they have already started on particular exam syllabuses, but this is not your situation, so please don't beat yourself up about it.