What is a reasonable suspension.

[Ginslings]

Can I ask any teachers, or anyone with any experience of this; what would be a reasonable punishment in the following instance.

14yr old, no previous serious disciplinary issues, a couple of reflective sessions for lateness, chatting in class, that sort of thing.
Gets called in for a bag search, and in one of the side pockets they find a 'blunt', (I think that's the word they used, they described it as the end of a splif). They also found a vape and 2 lighters.

What would a reasonable punishment be for this?

She also has some other issues, is under the care of CAHMS for self-harming which the school are aware of.

It's good that she's getting so down over having to go to another school. Sounds like the punishment might actually make her think twice about doing anything like this again.

I'm just going to repeat what others have said on here: she's lucky it's not a permanent exclusion, because it would be where I teach. I think you need to accept that they have been reasonable with her. She's had a managed move, that's the situation. You'll need to make arrangements for her transport. If she's feeling down then you need to work on that with her, together with any support workers she's currently seeing.

The arrangement they have with the other school is to avoid her having to go to a pupil referral unit/alternative provision school, which would be a lot worse. It’ll be a reciprocal arrangement (so her school will also take students from the other school in similar circumstances) and will have been agreed between them, hence no option of a closer school. Not all schools want to engage with this kind of system. We have it in my current school and it does help to avoid students going to the borough AP (which is a vile place, at my previous school the kids who got sent there would come back as fully initiated gang members in some cases) and is seen as a suitable alternative to permanent exclusion in a case where they feel the student can turn it around - so it sounds like the best option she could have got for this.

(If anyone is feeling cynical and wants to know why schools would do this instead of using the AP, as well as being better for the student, it also costs nothing to have an arrangement with another school, while a place at AP has to be paid for by the school and can cost thousands depending on the length of the placement).

Have you worked out where she is getting the drugs from?

The school are dealing with this as fair as they can but you are going to have to figure out why she has gone down the wrong path. Your mum instincts will be to feel sorry for her but don't be too taken in. She's managed to get drugs & vape without you knowing so she's probadly a little more streetwise than you think.

It's meant to be difficult for you as parents as well as for her, that helps parents to actually back the school and reiterate the message so it NEVER happens again. It's good she's feeling down, it's a punishment! It's not meant to be fun! She is incredibly lucky it's not a permanent exclusion and escorted off site by police (which is what happens in my current school).

You really seem to be minimising this. Is that because it's "just cannabis" or because she's your Darling D? Either way, you really need to identify why and make sure you rectify your response for if there is a next time.

What consequences have you issued at home?

I work with a number of schools and almost all of them have a zero tolerance towards any drugs for any reason, and your daughter would have been permanently excluded. If she has only got a three day suspension, and a four week move to another school, I think she should consider herself very very lucky.

Has anyone suggested a managed move to another school? Often the LA will fund the bus.

*You really seem to be minimising this. Is that because it's "just cannabis" or because she's your Darling D? Either way, you really need to identify why and make sure you rectify your response for if there is a next time.

What consequences have you issued at home?*

Why do you think we've minimised it? We absolutely have not, we are not letting her think that this is in anyway acceptable behaviour. She is grounded, has had her phone and laptop removed and has extra chores etc.

But I'm also not willing to minimise the effect this is having on her mental health either, and worry that being isolated is doing her more damage. When I first spoke to the school about respite I initially thought she would be joining classes as the other school not sitting in a room on her own, not talking to anyone all day and as I say not even getting to go to the cafeteria.

We're working with several agencies to try and make sure she gets the help she needs. Like I said there's a history of self harm and talk of suicide. This is not easy on any of us, but I'm an adult, I can take it, she however is very much struggling.

But I don't need to take your judgement, I posted on here rather than aibu for a reason, because I wanted to get a guage on whether the punishment was 'rational, reasonable, fair & proportionate'. (As stated on the county's guidance that I found online). Whilst yes, there are many replies saying automatic permanent exclusion there have also been a few that have said a few days suspension, we haven't had to deal with anything like this before with her or our older DC so we weren't sure.

We have fully supported the school, we are taking her to the other school, all we did was ask them if she could do her respite somewhere closer to home, but I didn't even get a reply to my email, and when I rang up I just got spoken over, with no opportunity for even a discussion. They originally said her pastoral lead was going to visit her at the other school but that hasn't happened. I feel like we're not actually getting any support from the school tbh. It's was stupid mistake, and bad decision making on her part, but I don't think that should mean she loses a month of school. Getting sent work on a laptop that she completes in a couple of hours is not the same as engaging in lessons, she actually loves school and is a good learner, but she feels like her school has tossed her aside.

Nobody at home thinks it is 'just cannabis', but it was a roach, not a bag of weed. If she'd been found with it by the police, they'd have thrown it away, had a stern word and sent her on her way.

A 4 week placement might affect her mental health, however taking drugs affects mental health as well.

If she is permanently excluded, she may well have a difficult time finding another school and it may well be inconvenient to get to.

Well then the punishment seems to be having the effect they desired and she won't do it again. She and you should be thankful she hasn't been excluded.

DS school has a zero tolerance on vaping.
Anyone caught with equipment is asked to leave

@Ginslings But it doesn't matter what the police would or wouldn't have done if they had found your daughter in possession of the drugs, how matter how small. The fact is that almost every school I have ever worked with would have automatically permanently excluded your daughter, irrespective of the circumstances or amount of drugs involved. I have known schools to permanently exclude students just for being in possession of drugs paraphernalia, without having any drugs.

Saying her current punishment is too harsh, and by the sounds of it, trying to push back against the school (phoning to ask for somewhere nearer, less time etc) is minimising. I'm not surprised they were talking over you on the phone. Schools waste soooo much time placating parents who think consequences are undeserved. She has got off lightly. She needs to understand that she has got off lightly and be thankful. Mummy trying to fight her corner does more harm than good.

She loves school and is a good learner? Why take risks like this?
Also you saying that the police would have "thrown it away" indicates that you don't really think it's a serious offense. You believe that the school is being too harsh?
Many of us know that it could have been a P. ex. She's been lucky.

I agree. I don't think either of them realise the seriousness of this.

*but I don't think that should mean she loses a month of school"

This is where most people are disagreeing with you. It's a massive deal. Lucky to not be excluded. Drugs at her age cannot be minimised and there has to be zero toleration or else chaos will descend. I think you are too close to the situation to be objective.

I feel sorry for schools, they can't tolerate drugs in schools yet get criticised by parents when they impose necessary punishments. If you and your family were not inconvenienced so significantly I wonder if you would have treated it as seriously.

agree. I don't think either of them realise the seriousness of this..

With all due respect that's nonsense, and a stretch on your behalf. I only made the police comment because someone else said about the school calling the police in for her.

We all fully appreciate the seriousness of this. Being concerned about her mental health does not mean that I don't think that what she did is extremely serious, and very stupid. The CAHMS practitioner is also very concerned about her mental health to the point where she has also contacted the school (no I did not ask her to, she asked me for their contact details)

But it's real nice that you all think we're all just sitting around at home laughing about it and thinking up ways to piss off the teachers for kicks. I didn't realise that asking a question wasn't even allowed. But thanks to everyone who keeps coming back to keep giving me a kicking. I'll be leaving this thread now.

She’s got off lightly compared to my dc’s school. Any drugs is a permanent exclusion. Our school also sends pupils to another school in the trust for reintegration. It’s about 12 miles away.

Sorry you’re getting a hard time on here OP. I personally think it’s a really harsh punishment and if it was my DD I would get her a sick note for the rest of the 4 week period.

You are fortunate she's not been expelled.

A week's suspension and working away from the rest of her peers so as not to partake in year end activities seems reasonable. She'll learn a hard, and valuable, lesson from this.

Teacher here - immediate permanent exclusion would be my expectation.

I don't think you are taking this seriously enough. She is using drugs. She is in close contact with criminal gangs (probably to a greater extent than the students she says she doesn't want to speak to at her current provision). She WILL be giving herself permanent brain damage- she will never recover from this. She is risking severe mental illness, and her educational potential is now reduced. In addition she is supporting human trafficking, child slavery and organised crime.

I don't think your main concern is the number of weeks she has been excluded for. Especially as the punishment is extremely lenient

sick note for what? how would she be educated in that time? And the exclusion would simply restart when she returned. What would be the point? This child is extremely lucky not to be expelled, and if the OP took your attitude, I expect she will be

You clearly are minimising to an insane degree.

You are flapping about how many weeks she has a difficult journey for, and how much she doesn't like being punished.

how about the children trafficked into the UK and forced into slavery to grow the stuff in the first place? your "d" d is complicit in this.

This is like the captain of the Titanic worrying about the scratches in the paintwork.

@Ginslings

Do you now accept the school has been reasonable? Honestly that's the first step. Then you can focus on why this happened? What can you do to improve her mental health? What do you need to do to change the influences around her as a 14 year getting access to drugs isn't normal or usual.
The month will fly by so just encourage her to get through it and make sure she knows to avoid all other drugs.

Did you suspect her of drugs? Or was this a surprise?