Homesickness and Anxiety

[betsy98775]

help…
my DD started secondary school in September in Y7. The school is a few towns away and she gets the school bus there. Throughout the year she has suffered homesickness to the point where she has missed a lot of days and getting her to school particularly on a Monday is still incredibly difficult. The school are aware and she has also done a series of therapy sessions outside of school to try and learn some coping techniques but nothing seems to work. She has friends at the school, seems to be coping ok academically and the only thing she seems to be able to articulate is that the school is further away than her primary school. It has come to the point where I am thinking of moving her although we don’t have many (any) more local options so another school would still be in another town and I am worried about moving her when she is so fragile as moving in Y8 might mean it is harder to make friends. Has anyone been in a similar situation or does anyone have any useful advice? It’s been an incredibly stressful year and just doesn’t seem to be going away and so I’m dreading Y8…

It sounds like she is very anxious and home represents security to her. My DD developed severe anxiety about school when she started secondary school, even though she seemed OK at primary. Is it possible your DD is neurodivergent? It is very common for neurodiverse girls in particular to go under the radar at primary school then find it difficult to cope at secondary. This was the case with my DD who is now diagnosed with autism. Looking back there was signs when she was younger too but I didn't associate them with autism. It's also common that ND children cannot articulate the reasons for their anxiety.

I considered moving schools but I don't think it would have worked as starting somewhere completely new when you are already anxious isn't necessarily helpful. Also for my DD I think the school environment would be stressful wherever it was, she would just rather be safe at home. I would keep working with the school. Push the Head of Year for more pastoral support and maybe consider speaking to the SENCO.

Thank you. This is really helpful. At this stage she has not been diagnosed with ND but I will do some more research as it could well have gone under the radar at Primary School.. really useful to hear your thoughts and experience - thank you!

Out of interest where did her primary mates go school wise? Defo research ND as so often becomes obvious in Yr7. What school did she want to go to?