In year school transfer

Gorale · 2024-05-03T14:32:12+00:00

Hello, My daughter of 13 is getting bullied at school and as things haven't improved we have applied for a move. I have received a voice-mail from her potential new school today advising they have a place for my daughter, but quick turnover is needed (I called them and was advised, that they will call me again). My daughter is torn as we had attended a meeting at her current school in regards to things that might change and improvements being made (it has been aprx. 8 weeks and my daughter is frequently absent from school due to anxiety). If we say yes to the new school, can we change our mind? If we say no can we re-apply for school transfer? I have rung the Council, unfortunately specifics could not be provided. I would appreciate any relevant advise.

Bluevelvetsofa · 03/05/2024 15:55

What does your daughter want to do? If she’s not attending much, will that be different at a new school?

I think you need to make a decision and stick to it. It’s unsettling to be so uncertain.

Sunflowers189 · 03/05/2024 16:30

It depends really, for us happiness comes before anything else, it might be unsettling but does the other school offer a lot of what your child would benefit from?.
Remember why you arranged for the transfer in the first place. And write a pros and cons list.
Sounds like you have the school a chance to make things right already?.

HawaiiWake · 03/05/2024 17:32

‘Might change and improvements made’ is so vague. This could be months and more school avoidance days. Make the change as planned.

Original poster

Gorale · 03/05/2024 18:11

Bluevelvetsofa · 03/05/2024 15:55

What does your daughter want to do? If she’s not attending much, will that be different at a new school?

I think you need to make a decision and stick to it. It’s unsettling to be so uncertain.

Thank you. In the new school she would not have large number of bullies tormenting her. There is one girl who coerced students to harass my daughter and school has not dealt with it effectively.

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Original poster

Gorale · 03/05/2024 18:11

Sunflowers189 · 03/05/2024 16:30

It depends really, for us happiness comes before anything else, it might be unsettling but does the other school offer a lot of what your child would benefit from?.
Remember why you arranged for the transfer in the first place. And write a pros and cons list.
Sounds like you have the school a chance to make things right already?.

Thank you pro's and cons sounds like a good idea.

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Original poster

Gorale · 03/05/2024 18:16

HawaiiWake · 03/05/2024 17:32

‘Might change and improvements made’ is so vague. This could be months and more school avoidance days. Make the change as planned.

Thank you. Sounds like only now there are giving my daughter an opportunity for have a trusted adult, shorter school days, punishment for bullies, addressing bullies behaviour rather than only my daughter to become more resilliant and assertive.

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cansu · 03/05/2024 18:18

If she is being bullied and is not attending then the answer is clear - move her. Even if the school does what you want there is no guarantee that she won't have further problems with this child or any of the others. If she is not attending school then you need to act quickly. Once this pattern starts it often escalates. You could end up with a school refusing child who refuses school even when there are no bullying issues. Accept the place and help her to draw a line and make a fresh start.

HawaiiWake · 03/05/2024 18:40

@cansu agree.
It seems like the school feels they have to be seen to do something for their paperwork. So you can’t complain later since they set up the process following school policy. This is box ticking exercise which you get in corporate situations.
If the move is important, do move and say to current school in clear and polite email that the bullying over XXX timeframe XX months and XX days meant any suggestions have not be carried out, therefore you protecting your daughter with move. Treat this like a HR settings and the company is not fulfilling their obligations.

Original poster

Gorale · 03/05/2024 20:29

HawaiiWake · 03/05/2024 18:40

@cansu agree.
It seems like the school feels they have to be seen to do something for their paperwork. So you can’t complain later since they set up the process following school policy. This is box ticking exercise which you get in corporate situations.
If the move is important, do move and say to current school in clear and polite email that the bullying over XXX timeframe XX months and XX days meant any suggestions have not be carried out, therefore you protecting your daughter with move. Treat this like a HR settings and the company is not fulfilling their obligations.

Thank you for your advise.

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Original poster

Gorale · 03/05/2024 20:30

HawaiiWake · 03/05/2024 18:40

@cansu agree.
It seems like the school feels they have to be seen to do something for their paperwork. So you can’t complain later since they set up the process following school policy. This is box ticking exercise which you get in corporate situations.
If the move is important, do move and say to current school in clear and polite email that the bullying over XXX timeframe XX months and XX days meant any suggestions have not be carried out, therefore you protecting your daughter with move. Treat this like a HR settings and the company is not fulfilling their obligations.

Thank you

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