Private vs state secondary choice

[Glitterfish]

I am really conflicted over the best choice of secondary school for my son. He has been accepted for both but I really can't make up my mind. WWYD?

The state secondary school nearby is excellent, great reports etc BUT huge numbers in the school. There is a bus practically from our door and he would be mixing with friends from the village (which is important as he went to a primary school a little further afield) and its mixed sex.

Or there is a private school about half an hour away (would have to drive), fantastic resources and opportunities, small numbers BUT single sex. It will also be long days (8.30 - 8) even as a day pupil as they have to stay for activities and study every day. Great sports facilities which he loves but its a rugby school and he isn't particularly interested in that but also has a golf pro etc (he's just taken to golf recently). Other school has very good sports facilities and range of sports but not to this level.

My son is a very friendly and chatty boy but also a bit immature for his age. He really liked both schools when we did the introduction days. We can afford the private school atm but may have to cut back on holidays etc.

I think a private school may give him an advantage later on in life but think the local state school might meet his immediate needs best - WWYD? Any advice welcome.

Most of us will have met somewhat sweaty rude teens from the local state schools too! No school contains 100% angels. I bet the Radley kids have more fun at school with less disruption and better facilities. Although I'm not sure the OP is looking at Radley.

Single sex schools for dc can be very positive. I'm never sure what evidence there is for saying otherwise. If dc want to mix, it's very easy! My DDs boarded at single sex. No shortage of male friends. My DC have found they integrate into society very well!

My quote was referring to when they are grown up adults not while they are still children.

By the time university and a few years in the workplace has happened I doubt their opening gambit at 25 years old will be “I went to Radley.”. Unless they’re utter pricks.

Go private. It's so much better. There's just no comparison.

State is a 3* star hotel. Private is 5* star.

Where would you rather go on holiday?

I like this comparison a lot
3 star hotels don’t have golf courses - but if i dont play golf…
there are important factors that some 3 star hotels would do really well eg clean and fresh tatsy food even if they don’t have a huge selection. 5 star places would be expected to have a larger choice for breakfast but again if i only want fruit and granola yoghurt … the point is, if the state school suits your child it may not significantly benefit them to go to an expensive private school. Having the 3 star ed but a pot of money (even 1/4 of the fees) to start adult life maybe be significantly better.

Bless you. This is happening everywhere and actually some are leaving private for state.

I’ve been to some VERY disappointing five star hotels.

I’ve also stayed in some thoroughly charming bed and breakfasts.