Daughter (15) recently diagnosed with autism and struggling with school setting

[MyRealCrab]

My daughter has recently been diagnosed with autism, although we’ve been aware for a long time it was highly likely she had ASD. She has always struggled at school, not academically, but with all of the aspects of an education setting which don’t involve learning i.e. friendships, anxieties, social cues, changes in routine, being called upon in class etc. Up until recently her saving grace had been the pastoral lead at her school who’s always been incredible and “saved” her whenever anything felt overwhelming and she was melting-down. The pastoral lead had been off sick for some time now, which has caused an increase in anxieties and overwhelm, but it had been mostly manageable. Since her recent diagnosis her anxieties have worsened tenfold to the point where there’s not a day goes by without tears and meltdowns before and on the way to school, sobbing phone calls on arrival at school, constants texts and eventually coming out of school and returning home early - she’s not doing this because she knows I’ll let her come home, it’s sheer panic and anxiety at being in the school.

My daughter is bright and loves to learn and so when she comes home from school she does willingly get on with her school work as though she was still in school. This has lead me to look into alternative provisions and I was wondering if anyone has any experiences with the virtual education settings out there? We had an appointment with Minerva this week and although it seems like a great option, after the meeting she broke down because the thought of being on a live lesson with 20 or so other people being able to see her on screen was too overwhelming to even consider it as a school placement. We’re both really struggling to navigate this and I just wondered if anyone had any advice or experience with the virtual schools out there? Also, whether anyone specifically knows whether a student can almost use something similar to Focus Mode on Zoom where they can’t view the other students (as I’d wondered if “out of sight out of mind” may solve that particular issue. Thank you in advance.

My son is autistic and is at King's InterHigh. They can have a camera and mic exemption. He has never been on camera or used the mic. He communicates solely via the chat window and it really suits him.

To be honest, the majority of kids there do the same.

You need to follow this SEND case (when published) next month in June.

My son attended Minerva Virtual Academy last year and our experience wasn’t that good, especially after they changed the headteacher.

I have two words for describing this school: WOKE and EXPENSIVE.

My DD is enrolled at mainstream but attends a SEMH alternative provision school (this is not private but children must be referred via CAMHS).

I looked into KingsInter for my DD but her anxiety was so bad, that learning in ANY setting was too much. Eventually she felt ready to engage and her CAMHS therapist referred her to an SEMH alternative provision centre with 4 different settings; She’s in the secondary school setting. Look into SEMH alternative provision settings, OP. Better to be in a class of 3 then on a screen with 20! Also, many of the children in SEMH schools are neurodivergent and have struggled in mainstream so, there’s a quiet understanding that they’re in it together. It’s been nothing but a massive growth experience for my DD (going into year 10 in September). She’ll finish her GCSEs there. I don’t anticipate she’ll be in mainstream until Sixth Form.

The ND community on the ND teen board may help

There are some alternative providers mentioned on the Home School board of this forum. It might be worth looking at those. There was one that was completely off-line. I can't remember the name though.

My Dd is on a reduced time table for much the same reason, shes on the jades pathway with lots of school induced anxiety. They're keeping up with their homework work and using oak academy to keep up with the lessons they're missing. It was recommended by someone I know through scouts who is the head of a local primary school and is really helping. Apparently it was set up during COVID. It covers all key stages and has all of the lessons by subject. We haven't had to pay anything to using it and it's definitely helping to keep my Dd level with her peers. In fact she's working ahead in some subjects and finds the maths easier to understand than with her face to face teacher.

My friends DD is with Kings Inter high. She is autistic and couldn't cope with the school environment. She loves it and is doing really well.
Have you asked school what the options are? They may be able to arrange online learning through the local authority.