attendance processes

[ItIsntReallyLikeThat]

Hi,

I wondered if I might ask for advice? I have name changed.

My DS13 has been out of school for 5 months with anxiety and panic attacks. He is having an EHCP assessment and the Ed Psych report concluded that he should not be in mainstream school.

The conclusion basically was that my son has PTSD from medical treatment in early years, and is triggered badly by the gritty parts of the curriulum. This is especially a problem in the powerpoint teaching in which bit of nastiness can come on every and any slide, keeping him in a constant state of panic. He also has complex food intolerance problems and can't get food in school even with a packed lunch.

The report went to panel last week but I haven't heard back yet.

The school are marking my son's absense as unauthorised, because no medic is able to sign him off. Both MHST and GP said they can't do it. Private psychotherapy letter was not accepted.

The school organised a tutor for my son, but DS can't cope with talking to him. I did tell the school that he couldn't, but they got me to sign the IEAP form anyway because they said they'd already paid for the tutor and said I couldn't back out. They are now talking about starting attendance procedures because I signed the form and DS is not working with the tutor.

The stress of being involved with the school is shredding my whole family and making my son's anxiety and food interolance worse. The more anxious he gets, the harder it is for us to keep the family stable, as even sleeping is becoming very hard.

I talked to the school teacher reponsible for all this on the phone and she said she's sorry, but the school system is all based on process and rules and the rules just don't take account of this situation, so they are really stuck. She says she doesn't think anyone in their right mind would take us to court for non-attendance, but I can't seem to find anyone in the public services who is allowed to use their right mind, and I am quite concerned about this. I have read "The Secret Barrister" and don't want to go anywhere near the court system.

Loads of people have told me that I mustn't deregister as I must keep my DS as "the school's problem", but in reality, the school is making their fear of Ofsted our problem.

I've been all the way through the formal complaints procedure and it did nothing but make the SLT angry at me. I called Ofsted and they didn't help. My son has had no access to education for 5 months. He was working well at home initially but all the craziness from the school has derailed that.

I have found private tutors in all his subjects and I wonder if he might be able to work better if I could just get rid of the school and all the nightmare of the public services tying themselves in knots.

I wondered if you think I should just give up and deregister?

My son is highly intelligent and ambitious. He was working at all 7-9s before he stopped attending.

We have a private child and family therapist working with us to fix the anxiety.

All the people who have offered concrete help have been private. The exception is MHST and the council Ed Psych who were both good. I couldn't have got access to either without the school's help, as my own attempt to request EHCP assessment and MH referral through the GP failed.

Thanks!

Have a look at the Not Fine in School Facebook group along with Square Peg. Ultimately home education works for many families but once you de-register you do lose all support (such as access to a tutor) from school.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/working-together-to-improve-school-attendance If you look at Paragraph 219 it does state that absences for mental or physical health reasons should be authorised.

Thanks! yes, that looks good.

Do you think they could use the ed psych report as evidence too? It clearly says DS shouldn't be in a mainstream setting.

Op, as Ed Psychologist has said mainstream school isn’t suitable, what do you think is suitable?

if all the private tutoring and learning is possible, then deregister him, you can always re register in future if you want.

if you were wanting an EHCP you could stay registered but it doesn’t sound like this has been agreed. You can request one without school and if you HE anyway. It’s also a long process. You can appeal refusal you assess as that’s fairly standard.

my child hasn’t been in school for 5 months but we have an EHCP and I am pushing for specialist provision, Ed Psychologist agreed so it’s with panel and cos of her report school are authorising the absences. But they have threatened over the Months about fines etc. I’m not HE as that’s not right for us I’m staying registered to force panel to find right school.

in your shoes I would de register.

you have already found what works, it isn’t school.

While this sounds like a very difficult situation, I want to understand why you wrote: “my son has had no access to education for five months”. To me it sounds like he has had “access” to education, but has not had “education” itself. The school, by organising a tutor, has done what is in their power. I don’t think you are wishing the school gave him access to education in a different way? What else could they do to give him access to education?

I am also curious to know what your ideal best case solution to this situation would look like.

You need to work out, ultimately, what you want here.

even in a non-mainstream setting there will be a curriculum to teach.
you’re going to have a hard time arguing that no one can use a white board in his lessons.
if you want him sat in a room by himself with a textbook then talk to the school but, ultimately, he’s going to need some input from someone at somepoint.

when you know what you want his education to look like, then you can have the conversation about what is possible.

Hi @Pythag,

Thanks for asking. It's a very good question.

My son is nervous as a rabbit but he does okay learning at home from books as long as I teach him. However, he's a social guy and craves the approval of his teachers, which he used to receive very clearly when he got his written tests back. The school did a lot of written tests and he loved them and misses them very much. It's not at all the same when I tell him that he does well. He wants to hear it from a teacher.

He also misses the sense of community that he would get from belonging, even if it was only that we read the school newsletters.

In all honesty what we would like is to go back to lockdown school, so the teachers could send lessons and tests, but he could do them at home in peace, and with access to a decent lunch.

He can't cope with zoom lessons and tutors that don't know him because his anxiety is on a hair trigger and the triggers are very hard to explain to other people.

I've looked into the all the private providers online like King's Interhigh and Wolsey and they are not suitable, because they have mandatory online learning or because they are the wrong exam board (triggers in textbooks).

I have found one lovely SEND tutor who ds is now working with over zoom, and she gets DS completely. She gives him homework and he grabs it with both hands and does the work as though it was oxygen for his soul. She is a local authority tutor but I am paying her privately. The school said that if they hire her she would have to follow the national curriculum which would screw things up for my son totally, so we are just going head with paying privately.

I have now found tutors for all the other subject to start after Easter and I'm wondering if I should just unhitch from the school and start working with them?

It sounds like you're doing all the right things and if I were you I'd focus on getting him better and worry about education later. You and the school have got different priorities.

You can learn at any age, but mental health and eating difficulties definitely need to be the priority for your son.

It is more or less impossible for a mainstream school to avoid mention in class/assembly/form time of triggering stuff that is in the curriculum (unless he spends most days in internal isolation in which case, school's a bit pointless?)

How old is he roughly? If KS3, you could consider him going back to a different school later (maybe college at 14 for some GCSEs? I am assuming triggering subjects are e.g. biology, history, PHSE - probably easier to avoid at college where students are on different programmes).

@Phineyj yes the psychotherapist said there is no point attempting to be in a school setting during the GCSE years and we should do those at home and go back for A level. I think that makes perfect sense.

I'm just really confused because everybody seems so convinced that I mustn't deregister and I'm really not sure that that is right any more.

Cross posted with your latest.

I think if you can afford and have the time to put together a bespoke package for him then why not?

You have the right to go back into the school system later if you want, when he's feeling better.

As he sounds quite sociable, you could look into minimum entry requirements for 6th form and work towards having that as an option later?

From what you’ve written I think you’re going to have to deregister because what you want - a lockdown school that doesn’t follow the national curriculum - simply doesn’t exist. Therefore you will need to pay for it as private education.

The thing is that DS practically swallows good books whole, and remembers the whole thing on the first pass. I think if I could get all the school crap out of the way he could probably do amazing things and learn so well.

I wonder if it might be right to just do that?

If you have found a way for him to learn that is not school could you find a way for him to have to social/Community aspect without school as well? Home Ed groups or a sport or hobby club? I am not am expert but I'm struggling from your posts to see a reason for staying registered.

@PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister

Yes! that is what I am seeing too.

We do have the money to put together a bespoke package.

@Hellocatshome Yes I think I can.

I have found several good options.

If he wants to do exams you can register him as a private candidate to do them in a centre. It’s expensive though - somewhere in the region of £400 an exam.

@PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister yes we are okay with that. I have looked into it and there is an exam centre about 20 minutes away that will do all we need.

You must do your own research and make up your own mind. Who is "everybody"? I have spent 18 months getting an EHCP for my daughter. I have learnt not to take anyone too seriously without checking out the veracity of what they have to say!

Your son has a right to a state education but you don't have to exercise the right. He can go back in later.

@Phineyj

Thanks, yes I see what you mean.

My DS has a mind like a meat cleaver and tremendous ambition and I think it might be that I need to make it my job to kick the barriers out of the way. I am coming to suspect that the whole school system is the barrier to him learning.

I assume from the EP involvement that the EHC needs assessment is under way?
if a school cannot meet needs, then the LA has a responsibility to provide an education - either in a specialist setting, or at home. Look at Education Other Than at School (EOTAS) packages- they can fund tutors, therapy, exams… whatever he needs. If you de register for home Ed, you accept responsibility for this.

it is not easy to get an eotas package , but can be wonderful in right situation.

I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Labour voter and believer in the public services, so this realisation is hard for me to get my head around.

@Cantchooseaname this is what I am wondering. The Ed Psych agreed that we need an EOTAS package, and wrote the description of the required school setting in the understanding that no such school exists, so that the council would them have to issue an EOTAS package.

If I deregister from the school, then will the EHCP request fall apart, or might we still be offered and EOTAS package?

my Understanding is, if you deregister you are accepting responsibility for education, and the EHC assessment process will stop- as you don’t want the LA to provide education. Having got this far- you must be at least half way through the 20 weeks- get it issued and finalised, and make decisions from there. Are you in touch with your local sendiass? Google county + sendiass if not- they can explain the legalities of this.

@Cantchooseaname thanks, yes I have been in touch with sendiass but they weren't any help, except when I got the manager by luck one day before Christmas.

I think I need to talk to DS about it.

Maybe he would prefer to just work from the books and blast though until he can sit the exams and get into A levels. I will talk to him and see what he says.