Is Eton Typical

[Alfalfaromeo]

Hello all,

Asking about the school itself rather than pupils and how they turn out as I see Eton is very Marmite in terms of how it’s perceived and whether an Eton education is a positive these days.

Son has been offered a place but has other options too. I was all set for Eton but heard from two parents socially who have sons there right now in second and third years there that Eton is hard work for a parent. I realise it’s the education that counts but I don’t want to end up fighting over every thing as they both seem to have done. Every time they had even the slightest issue, they claim the school was inflexible, didn’t consider their situation and was simply stuck in a time warp.

Both said housemasters and dames were very good (different ones in both cases) but all other dealings were painful from emails not answered, finance dept being difficult, tutors not even doing their job and school refusing to change them, etc etc. I won’t go on but the feeling they both described was an arrogance and unwillingness to adapt and consider their situation.

im asking on this forum as I don’t know how typical their experience was and of course how typical that was of all public schools these days. We had no such issues with our son’s prep school and felt very welcome and considered and issues were resolved really well, so white shocked to hear what we heard about Eton.

Thanks in advance for all details and honest opinions which will be really helpful.

You might want to try re-posting in the Boarding school section.

Hi Alfa:

Thanks for sharing this. DS also got an offer in the current round. We have no direct experience of the school and don’t know any current students. I will follow this thread, but can you PM if you learn more?

Hi @Alfalfaromeo . Sorry to hear that you don’t have a good impression so far of Eton based on your friends’ experiences with the school. Not to diminish their personal experience but we can say that our experience over a ten-year period (multiple sons) at the school was overall positive. During this period, we had no communication problems dealing with finance department (tuition payments/pre-payment plans, etc), tutors, teachers, Eton Health (health issues, immunizations), Housemasters (asking for special leaves and absences for matches outside of school) and Dames. All were very responsive and helpful. I do hope you try to speak to more people, if possible, with direct experience to get a mor full picture. The school is huge with over 1,300 pupils plus hundreds of staff and admin so not everything will flow smoothly all of the time. Eton is far from being “stuck in the past” as everything on their website and alumni letters are about moving forward and ahead of the times. We think it was a great experience for our sons and our family.

Similarly to @njshore , we have a son there at the moment, further through than your friends. Absolutely no issues with communications and I actually find the school makes things very easy for parents compared to my other child’s school.

Route everything through your HM or dame who, in my experience reply within the hour other than when teaching or with the boys. With such a big school they are your conduit and your gatekeeper. You do have to trust that a school of this age and size knows what it’s doing, but I honestly don’t recognise your friends’ experience.

One more thing to bear in mind - “niggles” involving the boys tend to involve the second years disproportionately. Kind of as Mark Twain described. By the time they are post GCSE they revel in the independence and mutual respect. Eton really is a school that comes into its own for 16-18 year olds just as they’d be starting to feel hemmed in by other schools. 13-15 year olds haven’t had their best years there yet.

There is already a substantial thread elsewhere!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/boarding-school/5038400-is-eton-typical?reply=134212885