HELP me with overdue report for indie entrance!

[BrassyLocks]

My good friend's DS is applying for a year 9 place. His secondary school is very busy and forgot to do the report. They've now asked mum to fill in some of the sections, but she's dyslexic and had very few educational opportunites herself so she's going into a tailspin and has asked me for help.

I know her DS very well but I don't know what a good report looks like. Do we just state his interests or will they expect us to strongly recommend him and amplify his achievements to the maximum? I want to come across authentic but I'm not sure where the line is between truth and hyperbole, iyswim! Mum will trust whatever I write so I don't want to let her DS down (though ultimately the school has to sign off on it).

Is the report supposed to be persuasive or factual? It's overdue, so any urgent tips will be very welcome.

Is he at a private or state school currently? My experience was at 11 plus, but the private schools we applied for were fine with the state primary school not writing a reference, and knew some of them wouldn’t or couldn’t. They also asked for the previous year’s report, which we had and could send without involving the primary school.

He's at state secondary. They're asked for this form alongside the latest report.

You can’t write a report on behalf of the school, but you can use anything provided by them as evidence. So I would focus on things like attendance, sickness, lateness, behaviour points and current grades. If all of these are good, you could say that he’s reliable, trustworthy, sensible, mature and hardworking, as evidenced in his latest school report. I doubt you’ll need to provide much.

His grades are very good in core subjects and I will definitely focus on that. But he has been off sick a lot and I wonder if this will be an issue. Should I say why I believe he'll be an asset to the school or is it better to state why mum thinks their school will be good for her DS? Or both?

What has the reference actually asked for?
My dd joined a private school in year 9, and we focused on what she could bring to the school- sporting achievements, mainly. Her school reference was just confirmation of her target grades and that she had good behaviour and attendance.

What has the reference actually asked for?

His behaviour and attitude to learning. Surely the school should do this part? But then again, they've just got a new head and the class teachers switched around too, sigh.

They ask about the scholarship subjects (music, sport, etc.) He's not playing at county level, so do I just say what sports he enjoys and what he might achieve with the right opportunities?

He shares some hobbies and activities with my DC so I can speak about this confidently.

There's also a general statement part, which is the hardest bit in my opinion. I thought maybe this was the section to sing his praises and be more persuasive than just factual.

Is it his current school that have asked his mum to fill in the report or the new school?

It seems very strange either way. IME state schools rarely do a special report - just send a copy of the last full report given to the parents.

The new school have asked the current school for it, and these are the things they are asking about.

The school should be doing this.

I don't think it is ethical for the mother or you to be filling in anything. I don't think the new school would find this acceptable at all.

The latest report surely means his end of year 8 report? Which the mum would have a copy of already.

I agree they should but they didn't. They forgot and now they are pushed for time and don't know the boy well so are asking mum for info she can share. Ultimately it has to go from them to the new school so they can add or amend anything they want. But it will speed things up if mum can provide info. I get the impression they may not have had to produce such a report before.

Yes, she has the report but the school wants an additional reference.

You/mum can't write his reference.

I think indies generally accept that many state schools don't give additional references.

They have his last report.
Surely his current school can just give details of sick days if the new school wants that - it's all electronic.

If I had to do this, I would literally pull out all the factual and positive things from his report. E.g Little Johnny has attended xxx school since 2022. He has target grades of xxxx and he is meeting/exceeding these targets. His behaviour has always been exemplary e.g. no detentions/ negative points. He has represented the school in xyz and has a real talent for xxxxxx.

Thanks for all the suggestions so far. I have tried to reassure mum that the school won't expect the same level of detail in the report as they do from prep heads and that they will appreciate her DS's progress relative to his starting point. She was upset that the current school hadn't done it, and is worried it has prejudiced his chances.

You can’t write a reference if it’s meant to be from the school! The mum just needs to remind the current school to do it and let the new school know that she is chasing. If you get involved you are going to make a muddle!

If the school gets a reference from someone other than from the school that they’ve requested that will raise red flags and they will investigate further- they might’ve en phone the school.

To be clear, I'm not sending a reference to the new school myself! The current school have asked mum for certain pieces of information because they just don't her DS very well and she has asked me to help her express it in clear language. I will then return it to her and she will return it to the current school who will no doubt check and amend to their satisfaction before sending to the new school.

I have never heard of a school asking a parent to do this - really odd and pretty unethical. Not surprised she wants him to leave!

I don't think it's odd in general to ask parents for more information to help flesh out a reference. In this case they are asking for a lot of specific information rather than just 'tell us anything you feel we should know about your DS.' But mum suffers anxiety on top of her dyslexia and doesn't want to come across 'dumb' to use her words. What I think is wrong is that the school didn't do it when asked, and sent the mother into a panic when she found out. This is all now the result of a last minute scrabble.

Sounds a little like helping a 6th form teacher write a UCAS reference - I seem to recall at least one of my children having a form to fill in as a checklist of things they had done at school to ensure the right things were included.