Easier to make friends in Secondary rather than primary

[scottishclive]

Child1 is going to secondary in Sept. He is not going to the same school as all his close friends so he will need to make some new friends. He knows a few kids from primary going to the same school but they are not friends.

He did struggle somewhat to make friends in primary, now has a couple of close ones who wont be at the same secondary. I know a lot of people say its easier to make friends in secondary as your with a lot more kids, but is that really the case?

One DD has made much stronger friendships than at primary within a term of high school. The other took longer, made friends in Year 7 she didn't stick with but now has two great groups of friends, one group from her year and one related to her interests.

Tons of variables. I've had two do it and end up with a mixture of old and new mates. The old ones are from their primary but not people who were in their old form at primary.
Some new had joined alone.
Factors

• size of high
• how many feeder schools.

Ours has about 40 although 40% - 50% come from the 10 nearest ones.

• his much the school mixes them up in forms - ours is a lot
• whether the school does lessons in forms or mixes them up - our lessons are not in forms & most lessons are different combinations
• how many free lunch clubs etc
• whether the school runs summer transition camps re Sept
• how much the school runs things to help singles find mates

Ours does all of this and those who have gone knowing no one all seem to have mates now

That's the case if most if not all lessons are done in forms. My DC only have morning form time plus 3 hours lessons in their form group. They are mixed up or set for all others. They get to know much wider pool of people. Eg the maths brains all in set 1 etc

That's the point, form group is just the start of the morning and assemblies. The rest of the classes are mixed. Hence why it's easier to make different friends

My daughter is half-way through year 7 and hasn't made any friends, despite having a large group of good friends at Primary who she still sees. Nobody went from Primary to her new school and despite the education side of things going really well and being a member of a number of sports teams, she just hasn't made any friends. She even wears a watch, as nobody else does, so that people ask her the time, as it's her only social interaction with her classmates.

I think setting in secondaries is a real mixed bag. In my experience attainment setting, other than maybe for maths, is in year 7 at least less common than whole form group teaching.

@northlondondad1976 that sounds awful. Poor girl. Are school helping her?

I am nervous for my son. He just started year 8 in a new school and even if kids he says are nice to him he has been spending his lunch breaks and his breaks in general alone. Is there something that that tutor can help I wonder? Who does one talk too in this situation? Or should I just calm down and give it time 🥲? It might just need more time but is hard to hear he eats alone.

DD has just stated Y7.

Was the only one from her primary school.

So much happier at secondary already. So many more kids like her. She didn't find anyone she properly clicked with at primary and it got her down by the end as friendship groups had been formed etc and a lot more based around the parents/siblings being friends.