JAGs or Grammar

[MoDD]

We have a choice of JAGs or grammar in Sutton/Kingston area. DD is not super sporty but enjoys it, mid-top academic wise, introvert, sensitive and hardworking with loads of potential to come out of her shell.
Concerns about grammar: hothouse reputation and lack of pastoral care, lack of extra curricular / curriculum plus options, class size and general lack of funding. I have also heard mix stories on Wallington girls behaviour and attitude.
Concerns about private: Uncertainty about rising costs - pending VAT on fees plus the annual rise. We would need to make some sacrifices in terms of lifestyle. Keeping up with the Jones environment for a kid who won't be able to go on all trips!
JAGs is an amazing school and opportunity however the cost has skyrocketed like many other London indies. Are we better of saving and going private at 6th form? Anyone who has faced a similar choice that could provide some advice?
Thank you!

My friend’s daughter was at JAGs. She’s fabulous and very bright and got excellent GCSEs. However chose to leave for A levels as she didn’t like the hot housing and lack of sport. She’s now very happy at a state 6th form. She also wanted a coeducational school.

I would probably go for the state option in your shoes and I say that as a parent of (latterly) privately educated boys.

What are the travel times/journeys like?
Assume 10% - 15% fee rises annually without any VAT changes

For grammar she would be driven in morning and up to 1hr back on public transport. For JAGs it is 2 trains estimated 45mins door to door.
10-15% just on annual rises? wow, i had estimated 5% annual rise + 15% VAT increase.

@Radiatorvalves Thank you for your advice. I've heard some people describe JAGs as an indie hothouse but would have expected Grammar like Tiffins/Nonsuch/Wallington to be more so? Do you think your friend's daughter's confidence is due to JAGs?

Obviously you are holding 2 highly sought after school places having committed to the JAGS deposit so I wouldn't expect too much sympathy from MN! You can only go to 1 school and someone else would love your place.

@redberry12 that's a very unhelpful comment for someone with a genuine dilemma. Given he/she will have had the grammar allocation late on Friday night and had to decide to pay the JAGS deposit by Tuesday morning or thereabouts, one weekend is not exactly long to decide on whether to make about a £200k investment and a potentially lifechanging decision for their DD and them as a family. Quite ridiculous to suggest that 80 hours is long enough for that when they're clearly not overly financially cushioned.

Give them a break and be more helpful!

Our fees had been rising by 5% then crept up 7%, 8%, this year the increase in both schools was 10%
Given inflation and the TPS increases I expect them to go up by at least 10% this summer

You can move back to a private school easily but if you give up the place at the grammar school, it is unlikely that you will get it in the future, so I would take up the grammar place.

If you feel confident you can afford it until she has taken her GCSEs, then I would go with JAGS. Switching to state at Sixth Form is not uncommon for independent pupils and it can work out very well.

As for the grammars, well you know your DD best and whether she is likely to thrive in a fairly intense atmosphere, and whether you, as parents, can act as a buffer against the pressure when needed.

I’m hesitating to say this because your DD is clearly bright and has worked hard to be holding those places, but I had a DD at one of the schools you mention, and have a friend with a DD who was at another of them, and what they have said makes me wonder if they are the best fit for a “sensitive, introverted” child.

This is just anecdotal, but DD said she didn’t know anyone who had been to her school “who didn’t end up a little bit mad”. There certainly seemed to be an alarming amount of self-harm, eating disorders, anxiety and depression among her classmates.

DD was happy there but she joined in Sixth Form, so she hadn’t grown up in that pressured environment. Someone she knew who had, later said that overall she would give the school a ‘B’ “because ‘B’ was never quite good enough for them.”

My friend’s DD suffered from anxiety, and to her school’s credit, counselling was suggested. When my friend agreed but asked if the sessions could be discreet because the DD would hate to feel singled out, the school replied in words to the effect that it would be more abnormal if she wasn’t receiving counselling.

It’s a tough decision. But a previous poster does make a very good point in saying if you take the grammar now you can always pull her out at any point.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

I remember my friends daughter in primary school and thinking she’d go far and was most likely to become prime minister. Her confidence is innate and probably due to having 2 very bright and high achieving parents.

I think keeping up with the Jones could be a challenge. My son is at a boys school not too far away and while we usually go to France on hols (not exactly deprived) others will have 6+ exotic holidays a year…

Mid top academic means she passed the 11+ after intense tutoring? Wallington is a great school but she will be with girls that were always the top of the class in their Primary schools. They are self learners and very driven kids.
In private schools there’s all kind of families, not everyone is super wealthy, so don’t worry too much about that.

I wouldn’t worry about keeping up with the Jones’ at JAGS, parents live in house of all different sizes and value. Big cost trips like skiing only have 40 or so places and across more than one year group so the vast majority of the girls don’t go.

The work hasn’t be remotely hot-housey so far (DD is in year 9). Another DC is at a different indie and has far more homework.

Definitely take into consideration fee rises

If your DD is naturally very bright and enjoys learning then I would choose Wallington and swap later if needed. DD is thriving at sister school and has finally found her tribe, so many girls like her - started inviting friends over in week one and still happy now. A wide curriculum and excellent pastoral care too so don’t assume it will be a lesser/ more restricted offer.