What to do - RGS vs Hampton???

[LilacKat]

After another sleepless night thinking about it, I would really appreciate your advice on the RGS vs Hampton dilemma.

Our DS has done wonderfully well to get 11+ offers from both these schools but we are still torn between the two.

Hampton - is it only for alpha male types who are super competitive (which ours is not)? Will it be too intense, particularly in the early years? Is it better to be middle of the pack at Hampton vs nearer the top elsewhere?

RGS - is it really that much less intense compared to Hampton, especially in the early years? How problematic is the train, particularly when not coming back with the masses due to after school clubs? At what stage does the intensity ramp up to enable the boys to get the results they clearly do?

What we cannot get straight in our heads is, if both schools get such comparable results in terms of grades and Oxbridge entrants, why would someone opt for the more intense (and potentially more challenging for our DS) experience at Hampton when seemingly the same could be achieved with far less stress at RGS? Journey times would be comparable.

We fully recognise how fortunate we are to be able to pick between such great schools, but we are just scared of getting this decision wrong! Any thoughts or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Just a quick answer but the sport is different between the 2. We didn't apply to RGS because there is no football as a main sport. Hampton has lots of different characters and you don't need to be alpha to go there, it's a great school.

Hampton is in NO way only for ‘alpha male’ types. That is a very outdated view. There is a huge emphasis on kindness, and on the idea that achievement in sport is no more or less important/ valid than achievement in music, chess, drama or academics.

There is a very wide range of boys with a very wide range of personalities and interests. It’s completely possible to forget sport exists outside of PE/ games lessons if that’s not your thing

Also the intensity doesn’t really need to ramp up when the intake is already very bright

Thanks so much tennissquare!

DS does prefer football, so we had considered that very same point, but he has done rugby so was not thinking sport would be a key deciding factor.

Good to hear there are lots of different characters at Hampton. Our lingering hesitation is whether, as a more sensitive and reserved type, he would fully shine in such a super competitive / intense environment, where everyone is seemingly all pushing for the top?

OP, don't have sleepless nights over this. They are both fab schools and I am sure your son will do well and be happy at either. Congrats on the offers!

I am surprised that RGS is seen as relaxed tbh. My reference point is GHS as DD is there and my son thinks it's unfair that they get less homework and have more relaxed rules! And GHS get even more stellar results.

Despite the above, DS is super happy at RGS and we've been really impressed. He doesn't go on the train as we are local, but of course lots of boys do and it's seen as a social occasion.

Where does your son want to go? Does he have a feel for one or the other? Where are most of his friends going? As they are both great schools with similar results and you say travel is similar, you could let him decide.

Hampton being a hot house is completely outdated. It is full of very different and very lovely, boys who are skilful at many different and varied things. Go for the easier journey in this case.

I don't have boys at either school although DS did have a place at Hampton so I visited it several times. I think you're overthinking it all. Hampton is a great school with lots of different boys. They are not all super bright or super competitive or super sporty- there will be all sorts, much like most other schools.
Go for the one you liked the most, unless journey is a big factor. In which case go for the easiest journey!

Thanks WomensRightsRenegade and Auroborea.

Kindness is one that both Hampton and RGS were keen to stress, and we genuinely picked up on.

I guess our perception on RGS being more relaxed was driven by the offer holder days this week. The RGS panel of boys certainly came across as more relaxed, one was pretty much horizontal (not that this need be a bad thing!)

Where do you live?

Thanks all, really helpful responses.

Journey would be long but straightforward with the Hampton bus, potentially less predictable than the train to Guildford (although I gather most RGS and GHS pupils use it). It’s the walk from the station to and from RGS carrying sports kit et al, which for an 11 year old is still quite a new experience, particularly on a cold wet Winter evening.

On Hampton, it clearly is a great school, but wonder on the level of independence they expect / require from the boys, and the level of pastoral care to support it.

I know we are over thinking things (although it still doesn’t stop us from doing it…!)

"What we cannot get straight in our heads is, if both schools get such comparable results in terms of grades and Oxbridge entrants, why would someone opt for the more intense (and potentially more challenging for our DS) experience at Hampton when seemingly the same could be achieved with far less stress at RGS? Journey times would be comparable"

I'm not quite sure where you've acquired the perception that Hampton is 'more intense' than RGS, OP, or that RGS would be 'far less stress' - as others have said, it is a very outdated view. They are broadly comparable, but Hampton will attract boys from the SW London area who wouldn't consider RGS because RGS is in Guildford and perceived as too far out. Therefore Hampton gets more applicants because its potential applicant pool is bigger. Perhaps that is where you get your view of 'intensely stressful' from?

FWIW, we have a DS at Hampton (and another about to join) so know lots of Hampton families and we also know lots of families with RGS boys. Some are sporty, many are not. All boys seem happy and settled and thriving whichever of the two schools they go to. Our Hampton boy is very much more geeky than sporty and has easily found a lovely group of like minded friends! I suspect the levels of 'stress' and 'intensity' are probably very similar at both schools and there will honestly be a mixture of alpha/sporty and non-alpha/non-sporty boys at both too.

I have said this on previous threads but the main differences between Hampton and RGS are (a) sport - one focuses on football and one on rugby and (b) location - Hampton is essentially suburban, RGS is in a busy urban town. Which of these options would your DS prefer?

Thanks so much FlyingPandas, that is incredibly helpful!

So reassuring to hear both schools have such a mix of characters. We are not in either SW London or Guildford, and DS is open to travelling to either at this stage, he likes them both!

Are there any views from those with experience of the Guildford commute into the town centre from the station, and any rationale for those who have chosen RGS over Hampton?

If Hampton has a school bus you are guaranteed a more reliable journey than depending on trains due to the strikes.

Would you be able to drive him to Guildford if there are train strikes?

Both are great schools - I would go for the easier commute.

My DS had Hampton and RGS as options, we chose RGS due to proximity. Both schools are fantastic, I wouldn’t worry about anything other than ease of journey. The train has been more of a pain in this last year due to strikes, but there is no issue walking from the station to school. Good luck with your choice, you can’t go wrong either way.

Thank you sazzy5, that is really helpful and very reassuring to hear. I guess that trains are beyond our control, but great to hear the walk itself is not an issue.

This was my thread from two years ago: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/4488017-KGS-vs-Hampton-vs-Whitgift-for-highly-sensitive-boy?reply=115321602

We picked Hampton and have been very happy with it, he has a lovely group of friends, haven't come across any alpha types. We're nowhere near RGS so don't really know anything about it.