Moving independent schools due to bullying - help!

[Laversham]

Weve tried everything but think we’re at the point of needing to move her. Is it just a case of emailing and finding out who has places? Do I explain the issue?

I know other people have done it, I’ve just never thought about the logistics of it! Will she have to do an entrance exam or do they look at the fact you’ve got into another similar school?

If it is selective they will probably require some sort of assessment and taster day. What year is dc?

How old is she? You will probably need to give a full term notice so I'd start by finding that out.

Yes I do need to give a full term’s notice. Y8 currently

My son was bullied in an independent school, the school were shockingly useless. I had enough, took him out and refused to pay a full term. I let them know why and with evidence and they never asked for it.

Have you followed the school's complaints procedure? Otherwise you will have to give a term's notice or pay for 2 schools concurrently. What is the school doing to help?

OP first of all you are doing the right thing (I was horribly bullied at school and my parents didn’t move me, because I was at the most academic school in the area).

First of all try not to panic and rush into another school (I know hard if child is being bullied), but you don’t want to jump out of the pan into the flames. If necessary could you home school if needed for a bit?

How old is your child? What year? Can you say what area your are in (if you are say in London advice may be completely different to say somewhere else). Is it definitely independent schools or might you consider state?

Ok just seen y8. Are you able to say where in country? Are you looking day/boarding? Academically selective and what’s the current school?

ill work out the fees later, more concerned about my dd right now. It’s been going on for a while. School has been awful and past the point of being able to help now.

I’ll name and shame once we’ve made a decision to move her, don’t want to right now.

just wanted to know how others had approached it with schools. I think we’re at a difficult time as there’s a bit of movement at Y9 due to prep schools finishing but she hasn’t taken any Y9 entrance exams as we weren’t expecting to be in this position.

DD moved schools in y9. She was ‘off sick’ with dr note and had work sent through from school while she served notice, so she didn’t go in. She had to do an entrance exam for the next school. She was very very happy at the next school. Good luck!

You need to start with the complaints asap as you might struggle to pay and if you don't pay current school the new one can refuse you. Not saying you can't afford 2 at once but it's not many families who could suddenly come up with that much and not be angry the school hasn't protected their child. Fully go through their procedure and policy documents and get a solicitor if you need to.

Your DC will need to take a new entrance test for a school that still has a place for a Y9 - which may be hard as, as you say, there is a lot of movement in Y9 and good schools are usually full and kids all aware of places by now.

If you tell us which area you are in we might be able to advice re entrance or suitable schools your DC might get on better with?

@Laversham no need to name and shame it’s more if you are say in central London (where places are a premium), but boarding is say an option advice may be different. In some areas you probably could ring up and have your daughter in the school by next week.

General advice

• Don’t worry you are not the first person this has happened to I’ve had friends had to move house/country and therefore schools at last minute. One friends DH left her and refused school fees and she had to move to a cheaper school mid term) there will be a solution.
• I would start by emailing schools and see if they have spaces.
• as I say don’t jump into anything. If they have spaces ask to look round and also possibility of taster days.
• You don’t need to say what has happened at current school just saying you are looking to move asap.
• you will be asked eventually why moving - fine to say your daughter has had friendship issues but don’t be too negative about the school (sometimes schools worry a parent is just a complainer).
• if there is an entrance exam she will need to do (but again most schools have a policy for late entrants).
• I would consider a name change and consider posting another thread just that you are a looking for a school in x area (and any things interested in), possibly mention good on pastoral. No need to say moment move - just because you may get a mention of a school you had not considered (my Ds is at a prep school I had never heard of which was mentioned by a doctor at an appointment he had).

Call school admissions and be honest. They shouldn’t contact your existing school without your consent. Send past term reports.

with the current school - if they have been ineffective or not followed their own bullying guidelines, then you can argue for not paying outstanding fees (check the wording of the contract so you can word it back to them in a way that addresses their end of the contract).

remember it is a business and you have a contract with them. If they have not provided the service - a safe educational environment where children are protected from bullying and harassment - then pull them up in that.

good luck. Don’t let them bully you

Actually - schools will be finalising their spaces for 2024 entry but may well have in-year spaces (which I guess is what you are after).

get your list of schools and call them. Be honest, don’t sugar coat things, but ‘sell’ her (if she is good at sports or a keen musician etc).

Schools will wonder if there are ‘issues’ when children move in-year but they do realise that some schools aren’t a good fit for some children. You will find that this happens reasonably often.

obviously don’t slag off the school (it’s a small world in academia and everyone knows everyone).

If things are bad enough that you want out now also check out your local state ones too.

As they are going into Y9 they will need to do some sort of examination or entrance test - every school tiers for Y9 and they won't want to just plonk a child in a set they are going to struggle in.

OP I’m sorry to hear you and your DD are going through this.

I moved DD last month because of bullying. We sucked up paying double fees as we hadn’t followed the entire complaints process at the old school but I couldn’t stand the idea of making her stay for another term.

I reached out to her new school and asked about spare places and it all moved quickly and smoothly from there. I emailed the admissions team in the first instance.

DD sat an entrance exam and did a taster day in early December, we had an offer in writing and “resigned” from her old school on the last day of term.

I was open with her new school but didn’t going into detail. I said DD had been physically and verbally bullied and we had lost faith in the old school’s ability to deal with it. The new school was very understanding - I think it’s, sadly, not uncommon.

You are doing the right thing. We’re only half a term in and DD is so much happier. I was bullied at school and my parents didn’t move me, I was miserable.

Do DM me if I can share any more details and good luck getting in touch with new schools. It’s incredible what a difference it can make. In the meantime, your DD will know you have her back

Chances are they might want an interview and do a half or full day taster. Schools will have their own policies.

Call prospective school and go and look round, apply, give notice, move. It’s all very straightforward.

We have moved a couple of times (year 4 and 5) for different reasons. It's been very straightforward; organised a tour, sent over reports and joined the school asap. We've not waited until the new school year.
Unless you are looking at the highly selective schools who are over subscribed, independent schools will be very flexible in my experience.

Moved DS mid Year 7 due to bullying. Contacted 5 schools, visited 2 of them, told them we are looking for occasional place asap. He sat entrance exam in the admissions department and had an interview. I was open about the bullying situation. Reference letter and reports from previous school were very important! This is why I recommend you stay on good terms with current school and play your cards wisely. You will need a good reference for your DD. It was a quick and straightforward process. Good luck!

my son was in a similar position. Pulled him out mid year 9 after i had secured another place for him- he’s currently doing so well in the new school
and his old school is chasing for school fees but we had months of my son health declining- both physically and mentally - and they did nothing! Why would you leave an unhappy child at school- especially at one where you are paying?!
After i saw how unhappy my son was i called the school he wanted the next day- he sat the exam that week and moved after 2 weeks. best decision we ever made.
Homeschooling for year 9 isn’t an option- is an important year so a smooth transition is essential
I would explain to school what the issues are and most are very sympathetic and will move fast. Good luck

Sorry to hear this OP. Did you find a place for her?