Regretting not letting dd try 11 plus. Is there a chance she may have passed?

[TheWildEyeBoyfromafreecloud]

So, she's just got working at greater depth in English so she would have been on that cusp for the test.. Her natural raison detre is non verbal resolving so I think she would have managed that part very well. Her weakness was maths. Understand Iit but very slow to work it out

Was there any chance if she managed to get 60 / 70% on English and nvr that she may have swung maths weakness?

No point paying for average when average is free anyway.

The academic objective is not the only reason why people go the private route. It is only one of several factors.

1. As I mentioned there are private schools that are not selective at all because it is a place where not very academic kids of wealthy parents go. They still enjoy superb sports facilities and after-school clubs, the education is targetted at their aspiration without stress and too much of a push and they interact with similar sort of kids.

2.Some just want a warm and caring environment for a sensitive child. 3.Then you have private school for kids with special educational needs. This is the best solution if a kid has ADHD or ASD and so on. 4.And then there are no super selective schools that do have the academic objective of taking an average 11+ passer and reaching their full potential without the pressure of geniuses on scholarships around, as in superselectives, that he/she would never compete with.

Tiffin girls and boys, Sutton boys etc are for example extremely difficult to get into and require years of tutoring for most children - even the most able will need a bit of practice for the sake of learning timing and structure of questions.

My personal opinion is that if a child has to be hothoused and tutored for years then definitely it is not a school for them. They have years ahead of stress and compete with genius kids who get in without much effort.

This is crazy especially since the Tiffin Boys are not even outstanding anymore and Ofsted marked them as Good based on not-great teaching. The whole school is scruffy and requires renovation.
Tiffin Girls is a much better school but there is very poor mental health support there with girls doing self-harm, getting anorexia, etc- all about not being able to compete with a few geniuses. The same girls would be top of the comprehensive and far more stable emotionally enjoying still a happy childhood.

I think that mental stability is more important than academic achievement.
Then when we look at the leaver's destinations >50% get to Russel School group.

@TheWildEyeBoyfromafreecloud, the thread has taken a strange derail and I don’t know if you are still reading but just in case you are:

Children who are hothoused or barely scrape through the 11+ very often have a horrible time in grammar school. They are acutely aware of their place in their cohort and it does horrible things to their self-esteem to feel like they are always at the bottom of the pile. I used to work in a non-selective school in a selective area and we would periodically have pupils join us for sixth form from local grammar schools, even though in many cases they knew this choice was a disappointment for their parents. It took a huge amount of work to help them to rebuild their confidence. You don’t want that for your DD.

I'm so glad that I live in an area of England that doesn't have the 11 plus.

Me too. I have never returned to live in the area where I grew up because it is a grammar county and I didn’t want that for my children.

@YippieKayakOtherBuckets that self esteem issues happen during any sets

With respect, they do not. There is so often additional pressure on children in grammar schools, whether it is the weight of family expectation or the financial investment of tutoring or private prep schooling. Yes, there are children at the lower end of every cohort but good schools provide tailored curricula and support to help them to achieve.

It is disappointing that you are so quick to dismiss my direct experience.

@YippieKayakOtherBuckets thanks for your post and I know your trying to be helpful. Unfortunately it's just not relevant to us.

I do have a dc in grammar at the moment looking at a sweep of 9s. Not tutored and certainly didn't gallop past the required grade in the 11 plus exam. I've never asked her to work or revise and won't coming to gcse. There is no pressure on her at all. We've been told she's very high up in her grammer cohort.
My other dc has been very upset today because she's been moved down a maths set in her primary school and I'm acutely aware that primary schools do not have to capacity and knowledge to properly assist dc who struggle in any way. They don't have sen experience or knowledge or strategies that help beyond very basic stuff.

I am pleased that your eldest is having a good experience. I think I have been clear that I am not talking about all children who attend grammar schools.

I am sorry to say that you are mistaken if you think a grammar school is the place for your younger DD to access specialist support for her struggles with maths. You might find it beneficial to explore some confidence and skill-building tuition.

I'm acutely aware that primary schools do not have to capacity and knowledge to properly assist dc who struggle in any way. They don't have sen experience or knowledge or strategies that help beyond very basic stuff.

Neither do most grammar schools, OP.

Is your dc in country grammar like im Bucks or Kent counties where the acceptance is reasonably high, or is it superselective grammar like mentioned here Tiffins, Suttons, Wallington etc ?

Quite a significant difference. The country grammars are much " healthier" places

Totally the experience round us. £50 an hour tutoring for a year. Every single one