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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

11+ preparation for DD who turned down offer from Bute House and Latymer Prep

55 replies

Happybunnyxxx · 13/02/2024 19:52

Hello parents,

DD got offers from Bute House and Latymer Prep this year but we decided to turn both down and stay at our current state primary school- we would like to nurture her in a familiar and loving community and focus on character building.

Through the 7+ assessments, we learnt a lot about her ability and personality. We did not prepare her for any of the tests. In fact, we just told her to go and check out the schools as well as play some games, even with the 3 relatively formal paper with Latymer. She came out smiling and enjoyed the challenge- she was not aware that she entered any school entrance assessments.

We understand that we would need to prepare for 11+ assessments especially the tests would cover more than national curriculum for Year 6, besides exam skills. We also know that it is unlikely the current state secondary school could help on extra exam preparation. Since she is only in Year 2, we do not intend for her to start tutoring at all now. Rather, we would like to use the time to research and find a good tutor or a team of good tutors.

We do not have any target school yet as we would like to get to know DD more about her interests and talents first. Currently she is very interested in arts and music. We live about 25mins walk from both Bute House and Latymer Prep/Upper so it is likely to be secondary schools around that part of West London.

We would like to have recommendation of some good tutors who could do face to face tutoring at home but we are not sure how to find them locally as the parents at her school we spoke to use online ones and local FB page search has not been fruitful neither. Would you please help?

If you know of any good online ones too please feel free to recommend.

It would be very much appreciated if you could share your experience in finding the right tutor(s) for your children too as we have never done it before.

Thank you very much for your help. :)

OP posts:
highhope3 · 15/02/2024 13:38

Some mums undoubtedly aspire to display a flawless image of themselves online that they may not achieve in reality.

BonjourCrisette · 15/02/2024 18:44

Welcome to Mumsnet, @highhope3!

nuigd · 15/02/2024 20:10

Hi op. We did state primary and got into one of the top independent senior schools in Uk.

State primary kids simply don't get the same experiences as those in independent preps so they need that extra shine and potential. Do something others of your dd's age don't/can't do. Anything from achieving grade 8 on an instrument by year 6 or achieve a gold in primary maths challenge bonus round in year 4.

Every child works differently with teachers so there is no point in asking for recommendations. Look into both group and private tuitions. Look at what she is amazing at and work on that, then also consider what she would ideally need to work on and work on that too. Get herself involved in various school projects and leadership roles. Investigate what her comfort zone is and try to go out of it from time to time.

nuigd · 15/02/2024 20:13

Sorry, just noticed I hadn't talked about 11+ prep. Don't worry too much, if your daughter is very bright and reads well, she will be fine.

medicalmysterymachine · 15/02/2024 20:13

@PreplexJ Are you talking about yourself in the 3rd person? I don't really understand your message.

PreplexJ · 15/02/2024 20:19

medicalmysterymachine · 15/02/2024 20:13

@PreplexJ Are you talking about yourself in the 3rd person? I don't really understand your message.

No I'm not talking about myself. It is fine that you don't understand.

PreplexJ · 15/02/2024 20:23

@highhope3 this is clear as day!

BonjourCrisette · 15/02/2024 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PreplexJ · 15/02/2024 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BonjourCrisette · 15/02/2024 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PreplexJ · 15/02/2024 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

medicalmysterymachine · 15/02/2024 21:24

I've reported @PreplexJ for trolling any 11+ thread multiple times over the last year but her strange brand of unintelligible belligerence and unwanted commentary seems to be something we'll have to put up with.

Sometimes I really wish for a block user function.

BonjourCrisette · 15/02/2024 21:25

medicalmysterymachine · 15/02/2024 21:24

I've reported @PreplexJ for trolling any 11+ thread multiple times over the last year but her strange brand of unintelligible belligerence and unwanted commentary seems to be something we'll have to put up with.

Sometimes I really wish for a block user function.

That would be supremely useful.

PreplexJ · 15/02/2024 21:32

medicalmysterymachine · 15/02/2024 21:24

I've reported @PreplexJ for trolling any 11+ thread multiple times over the last year but her strange brand of unintelligible belligerence and unwanted commentary seems to be something we'll have to put up with.

Sometimes I really wish for a block user function.

There must be a reason your repeated report was unsuccessful.

Maybe there is something that affect your narrative deeply, but you don’t want to face it. Why are you drawn to the 11+ thread?

medicalmysterymachine · 15/02/2024 21:38

I have nothing to hide. We were in the 11+ journey last year and your name repeatedly popped up (well beyond the point people had asked you politely to stop chipping in). It was clear English wasn't your first language so I think people cut you slack to start with but you became increasingly belligerent and insistent.

DD thankfully passed her 11+ (awaiting state school allocation), but I often get drawn to 11+ threads. PTSD perhaps or the wish of helping others if I have anything useful to add!

I normally don't have anything useful to add. Maybe you should consider that yourself @PreplexJ ?

PreplexJ · 15/02/2024 21:46

medicalmysterymachine · 15/02/2024 21:38

I have nothing to hide. We were in the 11+ journey last year and your name repeatedly popped up (well beyond the point people had asked you politely to stop chipping in). It was clear English wasn't your first language so I think people cut you slack to start with but you became increasingly belligerent and insistent.

DD thankfully passed her 11+ (awaiting state school allocation), but I often get drawn to 11+ threads. PTSD perhaps or the wish of helping others if I have anything useful to add!

I normally don't have anything useful to add. Maybe you should consider that yourself @PreplexJ ?

Yes, you clearly had little thing to add, at least not this name.

Based on the number of thanks button I have received in the posts maybe I do have some useful information to entertain. And good luck to your DD.

MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 15/02/2024 21:52

Hello,

Please remember that trollhunting is against our Talk Guidelines and that we will suspend accounts which persist in doing so. If you have concerns about a thread, you can report them to us by using the report function.

BonjourCrisette · 15/02/2024 22:43

Hope your PTSD abates, @medicalmysterymachine. It is a bit of a brutal process at times but hopefully everyone ends up happy with the outcome in the end.

medicalmysterymachine · 15/02/2024 22:52

BonjourCrisette · 15/02/2024 22:43

Hope your PTSD abates, @medicalmysterymachine. It is a bit of a brutal process at times but hopefully everyone ends up happy with the outcome in the end.

I'm being slightly flippant, re PTSD but it was certainly a brutal year of tutoring.

We're enjoying a peaceful Y6 and enjoying family time before DD2 goes into Y4 next year and starts the journey again!

Good luck to everyone going through it.

BonjourCrisette · 15/02/2024 22:54

Yes, of course I understood about being slightly flippant, but I can see what you mean. Best of luck to DD2, as well.

Original poster
Happybunnyxxx · 16/02/2024 07:34

ClaraMumsnet · 15/02/2024 21:52

Hello,

Please remember that trollhunting is against our Talk Guidelines and that we will suspend accounts which persist in doing so. If you have concerns about a thread, you can report them to us by using the report function.

Thank you for the reminder.

While I respect the forum's guidelines, I would like to say that I found it very helpful when others bravely pointed out certain behaviours on Mumsnet when I have not noticed as I have not been here for as long. Thank you very much.

I found it very unhelpful when some posts on this thread are judgemental comments about my decisions when they didn't read my OP carefully, not to mention did not even answer the questions at all. It did not make me feel welcome here.

While I accept that this kind of behaviour exists in real world, it is more extreme in the virtual world when people are not posting with real names. It is not kind and helpful.

It is useful to know that there is a report button. Thank you for the reminder.

OP posts:
HighRopes · 16/02/2024 07:40

@ClaraMumsnet Noted, and I have a personal rule never to respond to PreplexJ and generally try to avoid posting on threads s/he is on. But as @Happybunnyxxx said, some posters do find it helpful to have certain behaviours pointed out. Longer posters on this board are well aware!

QuiteAJourney · 16/02/2024 08:59

@HighRopes @Happybunnyxxx , very much agree that it is important that people are aware of the track record and behaviours of posters, especially when they question (under the pretence of superior knowledge or 'pseudo-science') the honesty of other posters that are sharing their personal experience or views. It is no surprise that drama follows certain posters that behave in an unnecessarily confrontational manner, and the quality of the conversation and the associated threads suffer as a result.

Going back to the matter in hand, I agree with @BonjourCrisette that there are indeed plenty of kids from state schools getting into (very) competitive schools at 11+. The process is very different to the 7+ one and it is definitely worth your while considering your approach - of course, it will depend on the DC, type of school you are aiming for, and level of parental involvement (vs tutor). A DC working at higher depth, with an interest in learning outside school, engaged parents (who encourage educational activities) and tutoring from Y5 that focuses any parts of the CV not covered at state school, any areas of relative weakness (that would become more apparent in Y5) and on exam technique (including considering the different types of exams associated to the schools you might be aiming for) is usually well equipped to do well in the 11+ - at least, we know several cases where that has been the case. Extra-curricular activities can help (not least to balance the academic element in the DC's life, but also because schools, especially some, are keen for DC to participate in the whole school life) but, even with excellence in music / art / sports, the exam acts as a filter (at least for the more competitive school).

Jonqul · 16/02/2024 09:15

what an incredibly weird thread. The other thread I went on in a similar topic also went bananas. What is it about the names of these two particular prep schools that seems to cause meltdown.? By the way, I don’t know what Trollhunter is – obviously very naive.

Procrastination4 · 16/02/2024 09:28

Jonqul · 16/02/2024 09:15

what an incredibly weird thread. The other thread I went on in a similar topic also went bananas. What is it about the names of these two particular prep schools that seems to cause meltdown.? By the way, I don’t know what Trollhunter is – obviously very naive.

“Troll hunters”-posters accusing others of being trolls, resulting in a thread descending into either a pile on or a spat between a few posters (suspected troll and one or more posters accusing them of being one) which ends up going totally off topic and turning rather nasty. The preferred approach is to report any poster one suspects of being a troll and let Mumsnet team look into it and deal with it as necessary.