Didn't get place - I'm gutted

[nodogz]

Found out my child didn't get a place for their indie school and I need advice to manage my feelings.

We've had a tense time at their state primary (something happened that wasn't acceptable and they have done their best to sweep under the carpet). We didn't set out for indie and we've had to adjust our expectations. There was just one school they wanted to apply to so we've supported and made some financial planning to pay for it.

Despite people telling us that if you can pay you're in (we're northern) - we have been practicing 11+ papers and interviews for timings and to spot silly mistakes. Scores have been consistently +75% average. So not scholarship level but not bad either.

I'm gutted for them. They tried so hard despite having a hard time at their current school. Put themselves through hours of prep. They really enjoyed the assessment and said the tests were easier than what they practised. They are sporty and social so loved the group assessments and interview.

I'm waiting to hear from the admissions office to see if they bombed their assessments. Possibly places were limited and my child would place after the very brightest ones, siblings etc. I do understand this is all a bit "my diamond shoes are too tight" but i am surprised at the strength of my feelings. I didn't realise how much I wanted them to have a fresh start. I expect our state options will be not be positive either. I have told them how proud I am for their attitude and that I'm sorry it didn't work out for them but any other advice? Home ed? Move house?

Disappointing for your kid. However state schools are fine and many go on to brigh futures including universities and vocational pathways. I am sure it will fine.

What do you mean by "far ahead"?

Academically presumably, but also prep schools do LOADS of 11+ and interview prep. My daughter's school did a lot of interview practices and the whole of the school curriculum was geared towards 11+ prep.

@Don'tcallthepolice I mean academically and also prepared for interviews. They've also had very good advice from their head on which schools to go for. The heads have relationships with each other and will campaign for a prep candidate who doesn't make the cut.

@XelaM the purpose of prep schools is to get kids into top indies. That's what people are Pat

Paying for. All about entrance exams in some cases

Feeling much better a few days on. All round naive about the process but that's ok. There might be a few parents disappointed with other results on here so I'll leave my thoughts.

Very much realising that it might not have been a equal playing field but that if we were willing to enter the game we can't be outraged about this. The kid is strangely ok with this concept (and understanding that other children may have far less resources than him also). They are also flying academically at primary school now so see themselves as brainy.

We have at least two other possible options to look at now. Three if we consider future years. And we have our heads around the state option we'll be offered should my appeals not pay off and what we might do in that case.

After much, much polite, unemotional and firm pestering I still can't get any answer out of the school. That's my resolution and closure.

Sounds like you have an amazing boy and that school he was so focused on might really not be all that (especially given their communication with you). Like I said, we had the exact same laser focus on one school but actually when we looked around we found another school that fit my daughter much better than the original dream school anf she's super happy there.

Did your DC sit entrance exams for the other options you mention? Also, are you aware of how the appeals process for state school places works (when the state school places are offered out) in the event that the state school place you are offered is not your preferred school?