School bullying

[Nightdresslayer]

Hi

My daughter is being bullied by a group of boys, she's in year 8. School have talked to boys but to no avail, it's still going on. As a result my dd is experiencing some quite significant mental health issues, anxiety, self harm, not eating etc. She was abused by her dad and there is currently a police case ongoing with regards to that which school are aware of. She is now refusing to go to school, and her anxiety is through the roof. I have pulled her from school, got intervention from family support group, been to Dr's and got a referral to CAMHS, though this was refused last year when she was self harming so not holding my breath.

I'm trying to get her into another school as I don't believe the current school are able to offer her the support she needs. It is an oversubscribed voluntary funded academy and I am putting in an appeal. We are not religious, but as it is a faith school there is obviously going to be a struggle. I feel this school best suits her needs as all other schools in our area are extremely low performing schools. I need her back in school as soon as possible, not least because I work (single parent)and she is currently alone all day and I don't want her to miss out on her education or for her anxiety to get worse. She's open to starting a new school and knows some young people that go to the school I have applied for. Can anyone offer any advice please.

I'm not sure I have any answers but I didn't want to read and run. Poor thing. My heart truly goes out to both of you and it sounds like you are doing the right thing in all the steps you are taking.

My own experience of bullying when I was younger was to have my family understand and back me up - which they did - please don't underestimate how important that is .

Honestly i would not wait for the current school to sort themselves out and would try to get her into a new school as soon as possible .

Good luck with your journey.

I'm sorry to hear about the dreadful experience your daughter has had at her current school.

Are you asking for advice on what to put in your appeal for the over-subscribed school? Hopefully someone else with more experience of the process will respond, but generally the advice seems to be that you need to highlight specific things about the desired school that are relevant to your daughter. For example, she is talented at music and they have an excellent music department, or your wider family speaks German and this is the only school in the area which offers German at GCSE etc.

You mention that the school you would like her to go to is oversubscribed and that the other local schools are underperforming schools. Whilst we would all like to get our children into the best possible school, it seems to me that in your situation the most important thing is for your daughter to go to a school where she is SAFE. So, at the same time as appealing for a place at the over-subscribed school, it is worth looking at the behaviour and anti-bullying policies at the other local schools. A place at any of them might be a better solution than your daughter being at home alone.

Yes I've looked at other schools but i don't think they're any more suitable. My dd has now not been in school for 9 days. I understand that once a child has been absent for 15 consecutive days the LEA has to step in? She is adamant about not going back to her school. I'm back at Dr's with her on Friday.

When is the bullying taking place? Current school need to help.
Was this your school of choice originally?

It's been happening since she started in year 7. The school have said they've done all they can. Which is why I've removed her.

When you say you have removed her, what do you mean? Have you taken her off roll? Have you just stopped sending her?

I think you should look at what the school you want has that would suit your dd but which is not offered at her current school. Saying that the other schools are under performing is not a good enough argument.

No I haven't removed her. As I understand it, once you officially remove the LEA has no further responsibilities to find an alternative school.

They don't have to find an alternative school.

They do, after 15 days, have to provide her with some home education if she is too ill to attend school. I would imagine you will need to provide evidence that she is too ill to attend school.

You can appeal for a place at the other school.

If the bullying is the reason she can't attend school, maybe you would be better moving her to a new school that has places where she can attend school immediately. You can then put her on the waiting list for the school you want or/and appeal.

Your poor daughter 😭

It doesn't have to be consecutive- it can be 15 random days. Although don't expect much AP it can be a couple of hrs if that per week - everything is a fight from LA

Dont take her off roll. Just keep ringing (email better for paper trail) in sick - otherwise LA wash their hands of you

Hope she gets into a new school