My child isn’t safe in school.

[Meha]

Please help me, my child isn’t safe in school.
I was called into school due to my child being assaulted by 2 other students, one who purposefully used an object to increase the pain, in the school which led to my child having to be admitted in the ER. My issue is that even though these 2 students have been so called “excluded” from the school, they may be re admitted and these students come from a community that is sort of tribal - in a way they have the thinking that if one has a problem, then all of them have a problem. This was seen when the entire “ clan” decided to attack a student leaving them with broken bones and the student hasn’t come back to school yet ( this has occurred in this school year and as this had happened behind the school, it was brushed off as it wasn’t on the “school premise”) and I worry that now my child is there new target. I have tried to explain my worries to the head of year yet they seem adamant that nothing will happen and yet if the students do come back , there will be a so called “ re integration “ session which involves my child being present with the two aggressors. I have no idea what to do- I’ve thought of going through the formal complaint route, letting the head teacher and governor of the school know, but I worry with how the school behavioural standard is deteriorating significantly ( they keep the aggressors in school to maintain a high student retention rate) and them giving leeway for students from a specific community so that they can have an easier time “integrating” into the community leading to the students to be more shameless in their actions that my complaint may be brushed off and my child may face prejudice. What am I supposed to do?

This sounds terrible. I'd be investigating moving my child to another school.

Word of caution. I know someone who had a similar situation, moved their child. And in a managed move, the other child also ended up at the new school.

If your child had been assaulted, I'd be involving the police. Have they been called?

Yes. Agree the police should be involved. Also - it’s ridiculous that they expect your child to sit in a session with the attackers/abusers. Can you imagine doing this with adults? I would absolutely make sure this is refused. I do ultimately think that you may need to move your child to another school. It doesn’t sound like the school has the ability to resolve this situation.

Call the police this is assault. A serious assault. I would be removing my child op. It doesn’t sound safe. Have you other schools in the area?

Unfortunately , even if I tried to move my child to another school, it wouldn’t be possible as national exams are coming up in a couple months and they’ll be done with this school- I just don’t know if they’ll be able to hold up until then, especially with the entire school year talking about this issue. If I were to ring up to the police, what would be the possible solutions they provide?

Oh its there. Some nonsense called "restorative justice" where rather than the criminal actually having to have any consequences or punishment they get to have a nice chat with their victim about why they, the poor lamb, feels the need to assault people, and they get to hear how much they've affected the victim.

I'd absolutely be calling the police, doing something on top of the assault to increase the pain given screams psychopath to me! Do you have a school nearby where such kids get moved to? Honestly it sounds like the school are scared of this community of people, but something had to be done e before there's more harm done

It sounds horrific and I’m really sorry he’s in this situation.

If it’s an exam year and you/he want to remain in school, I’d be looking at what mitigations can make him feel safe.

For example, seating plans so that he’s at the back of the room (with them at the front) so that he can see his surroundings; being able to leave lessons 5 minutes ahead of the bell to get to his next lesson without running into them; being allowed to leave school 5-10 minutes early so that you can collect him privately - or being allowed access to somewhere safe (the library?) for a period after school so that you can collect him late; etc.

And absolutely no way he’d be going to that meeting.

Are you in the UK? I ask because ER is an American term and the best solution might differ between countries.

Absolutely refuse to allow the restorative justice session.
Ask the school to put together a comprehensive safety plan for your child-where can they go? Who do they tell?
Request own room for all exams.

Thats the wrong way round though.

The perpetrators should be made to stay late, rather than the victim miss some schooling. For the perpetrators, there should be some consequence and inconvenience.

I agree, but that’s not going to happen. They’ve had their ‘consequence and inconvenience’ with the exclusion. The school won’t be able to ensure they’re kept late every night - and if they leave early it could actually put them in a stronger portion - so they need to look at other ways to make him feel safe.

See it this way.

He is out of your house for 6 hours a day.

He goes in 15 mins early to school or 15 mins late whichever is safer. Same with home time.

Make sure he gets indoor breaks so he doesn’t need to go outside

And you could at least try the police especially if you think these people are in a cult of f sorts

Can your child move to online schooling? I will tell you straight, the school will NOT KEEP YOUR CHILD SAFE and the bullying will continue and probably escalate. The teachers will just shrug and gaslight you.

I may be wrong, but I think if you move schools so close to exams you can still do your exams at the previous school. Special consideration could be put in place so your child sits the exams away from the aggressors. But first things first-police. But are you implying that this “community” somehow gets immunity from consequences?

'National exams' which have to be taken at that school.slso suggests it's not in Britain.

@Meha is your child in year 11? If the perpetrators are also in Year 11 then you may be right that they won't be permanently excluded, unless they are serial offenders. (If they had been doing this all through secondary school they would almost certainly have been permanently excluded by now). You do need to express your concerns to the school, but you need to be careful with your language about the perpetrator's 'clan' so that it doesn't appear discriminatory.

More likely a community that just doesn't care about the implications? Happens here, certain families who between them commit large amounts of crime of various kinds, kids basically feral and gain some sort of notoriety through police involvement. Large families where multiple cousins etc will be in the same school, with almost a gang like mentality.

Dependent on the age they could be charged and prosecuted.

The school would have no choice but to escalate it themselves.

The police can potentially apply for restraining orders etc. There are many options.

If all your child is doing between now and then is revising- take him out - revise and organise a tutor at home. He can go in for the exams - we have sen rooms, so maybe in there? And he is escorted safely to and from school until he leaves. You have to take this very seriously op, as they sound dangerous.

Hi op, i’m also wondering if you’re actually in the UK.

I would absolutely be involving the police. You would if an adult was assaulted so why not a child (who is almost an adult anyway).

If it turns out these bullies come back to school, i would absolutely be removing your child from every day school, and beforehand writing to every head and governer and LA to ask how you can help continue his education at home until his exams, from a safety perspective.

So sorry to hear that, my daughter in similar situation, and in her GCSE year so appreciate how difficult it is to think about moving her
Hope it all works out for you

Get them out !