Holding year 9 daughter back, when moving schools

[Single123]

I am a single parent (of the male variety) to a 13 year old girl, who is currently in year 9; I've raised her on my own since she was almost 3.

She is an only child, to a single parent and lives in a village where since Covid her friends no longer go out.

Other than paternal Grandparents, and my elderly uncles/aunties, the younger element of her extended family live overseas, so she is somewhat isolated.

My daughter is doing very well academically, in that she's in top sets for maths, science and is very talented at art.

However, since going to her current High School (started in year 7), she has found it difficult to adjust. She gets picked on from time to time by the more streetwise kids as she's an easy target, and has become shy and quiet even around the friends she had at her Primary School, she is the one left out when there are 5 of them.

Anyway, I'm looking at moving her to a private school in Bangkok, though I'm thinking of asking if i can hold her back for a year so she has some time longer to gain more confidence in herself, plus more time to learn the language and culture.

Obviously, no kid who is bright wants to spend an extra year at school, and she has mentioned she may get bullied if the other kids find out she has been kept back.

I'm aware this is common in the USA, though not so in the UK.

Plenty of articles such as this one in the Telegraph of how lockdown has damaged kids mental wellbeing, and i see the absurd amount of time off several kids she knows are having, hence if i can afford to buy her another year of childhood.

Would it be in her interest to hold her back a year?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/11/09/covid-still-harming-education-mental-health-say-teenagers/

I would say if she’s bright she’d be bored being held back so she wouldn’t benefit. It sounds like she just needs to find herself so to speak. Joining clubs and encouraging friendships, the things she lost in lockdown would probably help. Small steps with a lot of support

Thanks for your reply.

She doesn't find academia much fun, so will be bored in school no matter what!

Was more a case, that it'd give her a year to relax as the school work won't be as difficult, and enjoy the vast array of extra curricular activities the school has on offer, plus give her time to mature and gain confidence in herself and become a more confident talker, as in some ways she is young for her age.

This line from a J Lennon song is apt - As soon as you're born, they make you feel small, by giving you no time instead of it all!

If she doesn't like school I don't see how another year of it will be beneficial As others have said , tine to join some groups , make friends outside of school.

Are you currently in the UK? I would consider moving a Primary aged child to an overseas school when they have years to catch up on the language and education system and curriculum but there is no way I would be moving a child that only has two years left.

Holding children back in the UK generally only occurs for those who have SEND and who will fit in socially and to an extent physically.

Let her finish High School and College then support her in travelling for her gap year.

Her mother, brother, and my brother are there, and she has a Thai passport.

I work away for a couple of months of the year, hence, the option in England is boarding school, which i don't think would be good for her right now.

Plus England is falling apart and doesn't resemble the relatively honest and decent place where i grew up which had a few signs on being a meritocracy, and i only see it getting worse. Whereas Bangkok/Asia is on the rise, with lots of opportunities arising for the educated young in BKK, HK, Singapore etc...

One more plus is that you can go out in warm/hot weather for 12 months of the year, in England people hibernate into their homes for the 5 months after the clocks fall back.

Too add, it would be an international school with a British curriculum, and circa 20% British passport holders there.

But yes, i'm not happy to be moving her at this late stage even if its to another school in England, its the last thing i wanted for her education when she was born.