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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Yr 7 parents evening-'banned' seeing teacher!

52 replies

Syrupent · 14/03/2008 11:55

DS2s first parents eve in secondary school is coming up. The science teacher has told half the class (including DS2) that they are doing OK, so he doesn't want to see their parents. Is this normal practice? As he is doing OK in all other subjects (except one & that teacher is ill) perhaps I should't bother to go along at all?? I was quite looking foreward to seeing what they say, especially being a new school.

OP posts:

Blandmum · 14/03/2008 12:09

We have a general practice of making priority appointments to see parents if there are issues that we feel need addressing. If we feel that the child is on target we don't activly seak a meeting. If parents want to make an appointment they can, for whatever reason.But if the child is doing well I don't feel that I need to see the parents IYSWIM

PrimulaVeris · 14/03/2008 13:09

Just had my first Y7 parents evening this week and this issue came up - some teachers said they expected to see parents, some said not to bother.

We decided to go just with core subjects - english, maths science and mfl - but some parents made appointments to see every single teacher and were there for the full 2 hours.

Our DD doing absolutely fine, but nice to hear it from horses mouth and actually (for us) put faces to teachers names. I thought they were all fab.

Lots of worn out faces at end of night though!

DumbledoresGirl · 14/03/2008 13:12

My ds1 is in Year 7 too and about to have his first parents' evening. We too have been warned that as some teachers take 2 Year 7 classes, we may not be able to see every teacher we want to see. I actually think that is pretty crap.

But then, I am more worried about the fact that the English teacher has insisted that we do see him. I know what is coming....

Blandmum · 14/03/2008 13:38

The thing is I've sat through 3 solid hours of parents evening and done nothing but tell the parents how great their kids are.

Which is nice, but isn't actually going to help the kids progress in any real way.

Wheras the parents that i needed to see, I didn't see.

slayerette · 14/03/2008 13:43

DumbledoresGirl, I know it's not good if you can't get to see a teacher you want to see. However, my colleague takes two Yr 7 sets for English - that's fifty kids. At five mins an appointment, that's 250 minutes of appointments - over 4 hours of talking with no break. Unreasonable to ask of any human being, even a teacher! If you don't get to see the teachers you want to, they are usually more than willing to ring you or, if you're very concerned, arrange a separate time to see you.

NorthernLurker · 14/03/2008 13:48

Martianbishop - I don't go to the spring term parents evening for that very reason. Fortunately both my dds love school and seem to be doing well. I go in the autumn to get a feeling for how they've settled and I go in the summer to discuss the whole year - but there's no point to dh and sitting there with her teacher in a glow of mutual congratulation (sorry - proud mother boast) when we could be at home ignoring the kids

RTKangaDYSONMummy · 14/03/2008 13:52

MY DH has been at parents evenings for 2 nights a week for the last goodness knows how many weeks

There are 3 parents evenings per year and 7 years

They start @ 4.30 and last night he didn't finish til nearly 7pm

As well as meetings after school and then marking and setting work he doesn't finsih work until midnight or even later some nights

So although I agree that you want to see the teachers and DH does see all the parents I wanted to explain what the outcome OF seeing all the parents was

Blandmum · 14/03/2008 13:53

And many parents will tel you (rightly) that 5 minutes isn't enough to sort out their child's issues.

While it is nice (as a parent and a teacher) have have a back patting conversation about how great a kid is, and how well they are doing, I don't think that this is really what a parent/teacher meeting should be about.

Not having a nice conversation with someone who's child doesn't have problems might free up the time o sort out more pressing difficulties of another student.

Naturally if you are worried or concerned about anything you should get an appointment. But if all is well, what do you need to talk about?

Blandmum · 14/03/2008 13:55

FWIW I go to dd's because I feel that I should go. and they tell me that she is fine and doing well, which I know from her reports.

Nice but not really useful and a bit of a 'waste' of time TBH

for ds it makes more sense, since he struggles in school and has learning support. But even for him there was little that I didn't already know' He is lovely, works very hard, finds school hard graft but is making real progress' Nice but nothing new

Piffle · 14/03/2008 14:10

I did not bother seeing all in yr7. Saw no one in yr8 as I had week old baby. So went this week and saw lots. Good idea as it relates to gcse choices so parents encouraged to see subject teachers to get feedback on potential choices etc
see I got two suprises. Maths has gone down loads which was a shock as it is one of ds1s top subjects. Turns out supply teacher demoralized resenting job and begging for parents to complain. Discipline lacking. He said such a bright bunch they are very social. wTf? At expense of grades. Get a grip man. So have duly complained.

And English teacher (v fanciable) said raving marvellous things about ds. Suprises again as although very able he lacked interest in English for last three years.

So worth seeing a few teachers imo.

PrimulaVeris · 14/03/2008 14:12

Oh dear I feel rather guilty now MB! As it was first time for us quite difficult to know what to expect - also there is only one parents evening per year at dd's school. Most of us attending were, I suspect, the parental equivalent of the 'worried well'.

Although of course schools re different - is it normal to take the child in question along? We'd left dd at home so she could watch the Simpsons do her homework and a friend looked after younger sibling, but the majority of parents brought their child along and saw each teacher with the child. I just thought it a bit strange - dd didnt get the impression she was meant to go.

Hulababy · 14/03/2008 14:12

Sometimes it just isn't possible for a teacher to see all the parents. For example some years I would teach 3 or 4 classes (of 30) in a year group. Come parents evening it was impossible to speak to 90+ parents.

Blandmum · 14/03/2008 14:17

I've had meetings where I teach 90+ kids. It simply isn't possible to see all the parents.

We now get all the papernts to come to review day where they get 20 mins with the form tutor. If there are issues the form tutor will arrange for a priority meeting at the next session with the subject teachers involved.

That lets us target the time to the children and parents who need it most.

and all parents still get detailed information on their child's progress

Freckle · 14/03/2008 14:18

We've had this too. I think it would help though if the school explained their policy in this respect. Ds1 (Y9) came home telling us that his biology teacher (who is weird anyway) had told his class that he (teacher) would be deciding which parents he would grant an appointment. Eh? Surely it is for parents to decide who they want to see? Turns out that he teaches more than one class in that year and simply didn't have enough slots available to see all parents so he was only offering appointments to the parents of those children about whom he had concerns. Well, great that he didn't want to see us, but it wasn't explained well.

We also missed a couple of teachers for DS2 (Y7) for the same reason, but that was probably for the best. After all, there is only so long you can sit there being told how fantastic your son is, isn't there??

Piffle · 14/03/2008 14:22

we are told to bring our sons along. Since yr7. Its nice as you can see the relationship. Rewarding in our case.

snorkle · 14/03/2008 14:31

We've had similar on occasion - busy teachers sendig message that all is OK and not to see them unless somehing specific you want to discuss. Some of our teachers have taught all 4 classes in the year and not a chance they could see everyone. It makes sense to me - there's not usually time to see all the teachers anyway. But do go and talk to the others, at secondary you get few enough clues as to what they really get up to all day that you should. It's also a chance to speak with a few other parents, since you don't get any of the school gate chat at secondary either.

Freckle · 14/03/2008 14:31

It's parents only in Y7 but the pupil goes as well in subsequent years.

snorkle · 14/03/2008 14:33

parents only until yr 10 (I think) with us.

PrimulaVeris · 14/03/2008 15:02

That's helpful thankyou - it was like turning up at a fancy dress party but in ordinary clothes - looked as though we'd forgotten the most important item! Probably a communication issue and will check next time.

We did meet her form teacher for the first time which was nice. And the teacher dd insisted was "a bit, like, weird" was not weird at all and I thought v. good.

Didnt do well on the fanciable teacher front though - but dh did find himself looking over towards the rather young and glam PE dept!

suedonim · 14/03/2008 15:35

I've never heard of this. We've always been able to see all the teachers of our dc, over the years, unless we chose not to.

Dd2's school has a funny system. Parents go to school to collect the report at the end of term, then circulate around the teachers who are all seated in the main hall. It will be fun next week as we have to leave for the airport just two hours later and the traffic is crazy!

DumbledoresGirl · 14/03/2008 15:51

I do understand about the logistics (slayerette, I almost wonder if you teach in the same school that my son goes to as your argument was almost exactly the same as the one the school gave us in their letter) and I understand what MB says too about sitting there telling parents how wonderful their children are.

But a) as the parents, it is still nice to hear it and b) the fact that the teacher has no concerns does not mean that the parents don't either.

I don't know what the answer is, but as both a parent and a teacher, I do think regular contact between the two is important.

DumbledoresGirl · 14/03/2008 15:56

Oh and we have been instructed to bring ds1 with us.

A bit of a nuisance actually, as we were hoping he could babysit his siblings!

ScienceTeacher · 14/03/2008 17:13

A few state schools I've been in, the general consensus among staff is that they do not want to see parents to tell them how wonderful their child is doing. However, none of them have ever gone as far as telling parents not to come.

At my boys' school (independent), the teachers tell the children if they want to specifically see their parents, and they get the priority appointments. The rest of the appointment slots get filled with whomever parents want to see, or who the child thinks he'll get a good report.

At my school, we have three whole day sessions, where we can see everyone but we suggest to parents that they do not have to see everyone each time. They may want to just target to see each teacher twice over the year rather than three times. In the science department, we nominate one science teacher to speak for physics/chemistry/biology, unless there is a particular wish to see the teachers individually.

beautifuldays · 14/03/2008 17:20

my dh teaches 9 yr7 classes a potential 270 kids wanting to see him, he had parents evening the other week and there was just no way he was going to be able to see every parent that wanted to see him, he was there for 3.5 hours and saw about 50 parents, he would have to do 5 or 6 lots of parents evenings to get throught everyone!

Original poster

Syrupent · 14/03/2008 18:15

Yes I can see it from teachers point of view but I think it could have been explained better, perhaps in a brief letter to all the parents involved. Also, apparently the teacher is v hot (perhaps nervous of long ques of drooling mums???)

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