Prep versus all-through -Please help!

[CandleKindle]

My daughter is in year 4. We need to choose between two schools (staying at existing school is not an option). School A is an all-through school with no exam at 11. School B is a prep to age 11.

Daughter prefers School B and we also feel she would be happier there for the next few years (feels a bit calmer / smaller / better fit but can't explain why). School B is probably also a bit more academic than School A and will also prepare her for the 11+. But, School A is a good senior option and is likely our second choice for 11 and beyond (there is one other we prefer but it is highly selective and difficult to get into).

So we are a bit stuck. Choose School A and avoid the 11+ or prioritise her happiness now and give her a better chance of getting into our preferred senior school.

If anyone has any thoughts and can offer personal experiences of making a similar choice, I would be grateful. Head I think is saying School A and heart is saying School B.

I think if School A is your second choice for senior school anyway, you'd be mad to turn that down now, when it means you can avoid the 11+. (As someone going through the 11+ right now, I would definitely advise against it if you have a great through option).

Your DD would only be in School B for two years and most of that would be focused on 11+ prep, so however much she / you like it now, it's potentially going to be a stressful time (certainly Y6). Also, she has to make new friends, most of whom will be very short-lived (unless they go to the same senior school).

If you take School A, she can make friends now and settle into a school for the next 9 years.

Don't underestimate the horror of 11+. It's why there are boards on here full of it. And if there's a high chance she'd end up at School A anyway, I wouldn't put her or you through the uncertainty of it.

If you really decide come Y5 that you still want to try for the 1st choice senior school, there's nothing stopping you doing the prep at home. (Most prep schools I know are far less proactive on 11+ prep than they would have you believe and in most schools - even top preps - many people are still tutoring / doing a lot of work at home anyway). Give yourself the safety net of the through school would be my advice.

What is the competition for Year 7 places like in your area? If it's a real scrum, I'd be tempted to stick with the all-through option, but otherwise, the prep does sound like a better option.

Choose the school that is right for your daughter now and where she will be happiest. If School B is a good prep they will prepare her to move into your preferred choice. Do many children from School B get into your preferred option?

If school A is not even your first choice for secondary then why choose it now?

Do you have any logistical issues? Any other children?

I've done similar this yr. I went to a through school they haven't prepped them she has lost the motivation to work. However, I've seen the working of the school (good and bad bits)

If I'd of had less children they should have gone to another prep school but it would have been a 45 round trip for me which is tricky with other children / schools.

OP are you in Surrey ?!?!?

Go all through! The process of applying to senior schools is insane. Insane. My ten year old has done three exams this autumn (and two summer mock exams) and has 4 exams for two more schools left. We don’t know if he’ll get a place at any. It’s a hideous thing to ask your child to do and all his favourite hobbies are basically cancelled so he can revise, I’m cursing myself that we didn’t pick an all through. We also went for the nurturing prep that finishes at 11 and you know what? Around year 5 they grow out of needing loads of nurturing and it actually becomes somewhat babying and limiting.

How about the commute?

What is the track record of School B senior school destination? How many pupils end up in school A or your first choice senior school?

Thank you for all of the input.

School B is a good prep. Out of a cohort of 40-45 about 8 go to our first choice senior and a similar number to School A (our second choice). However, our preferred choice is very popular so it does feel like a bit of a long shot. There are other senior options besides these and maybe I will feel differently about them in a couple of years - things change.

I don't underestimate the horror of the 11+ but if she's in an environment where everyone is doing it, she's likely to be more motivated. I feel uneasy settling for our second choice right now, but also fearful of not doing so whilst we have the chance! I just worry School A is not academic enough long-term (and I know that she needs an academic environment to motivate her).

I will ponder some more - thank you for your thoughts.

ALWAYS choose the school where your child will be happy. Unless you are in London, the 11+ is often made out to be a lot more stressful than it actually is.

I have had two DC go through both grammar and independent 11+ exams in the Home Counties without formal tutoring (we concentrated on exam technique and timing and did CGP 10 minute tests and a couple of full length tests at home - literally cost us less than £50).

The key is to be realistic about your child’s abilities and apply only to the schools where they fit. Usually the stress is from the parents who set expectations far too high, when they start with a tutor they see a huge academic gap, and then try to fill the hole. Sometimes that gap is just far too big.

One parent at our school entered their DC for the grammar and four of the most academic independents in the country. They point blank refused to apply to the highly regarded but far less academic local independents. Poor child was tutored from Y4. They were in bottom sets at school. It was never going to happen. Parent was beside themselves when they didn’t get any offers and ended up at the local comp…….. where they are in Y10 and totally thriving.