Constantly changing friendships

[Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky]

My DD who I suspect may have ADHD seems to have constantly changing friendships. I thought it might settle down after Y7 but it's still in flux. All in with one person seeing them all the time then couple of months later onto the next. Doesn't seem to be falling outs just wanting the next 'thing'

Anyone else have this - does it ever get better?

What year is she in? Sounds very common for y8/y9.

@wishiwasidisneyland Y8. It's constant though every couple of months. Maybe that is normal and my oldest was the oddity! It's just all more nothing.

My oldest seemed to settle much quicker.

Not normal for all of them but definitely not uncommon I would say!

There are some kids like that and my son had a " 💔" because of one of those girls. The worry is if they continue it in the adulthood. But as a parent what you can do apart from talking to her? Maybe trying to get to the bottom why she is uncapable of attachment and has a need for constant novelty.

It very much depends also if she just drifts between the kids and returns to the previous ones ( that would be less worrying ) or if she dumps the old one and takes the new one.
The danger is that she will become infamous for it.

@JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything

That why I worry - it always seems to be new people. I worry she will end up with no friends as she will run out of new people and everyone else will be been there done that!

Yeah. It is a problem as it is not reception or year 3....
If you can afford it, I would go to 1 -3 maybe 4 session with the child psychologist whou would meet with you to understand the problem and maybe will shed a specialist light on it. And it would be if she/he speaks with your daugher and finds out the reasons.

Definitely you do not want her to end up with 6 divorces in the future and I mean it as a joke.

But there are things to look at . One of the symptoms of ADHD can be that they easily bored but that would need to be accompanied by other symptoms.

There is also a danger of developing patterns of emotional ups and downs that could lead go bipolar if not addressed early enough

Or...it is just nothing and she will grow out of it but I would talk to psychologist to be on a safer side

My DD had ADHD. She's medicated.
What you describe is typical in ADHD kids. But you'd need to look at lots other things. Lots Yr8 just change mates a lot.

ADHD kids often latch onto new friends when old ones get tired of them. They don't always fall out but old friends just pull away. ADHD kids like to be in control. They are emotionally immature. They are fun but others also find them annoying

@eurotravel

Her dad suspects he has it- she is also dyspraxic which obviously crosses over. She was assessed in primary but didn't score high enough at school - mainly I think because after referral she changed to a new class with a strict teacher who kept her in check.

I spoke to her school today as had some other concerns and they mentioned she is very easily distracted and chatty in lessons and also very easily influenced by friends. So it's a matter of keeping hold of the good ones that don't send her down bad behaviour paths....

I would say she is definitely quite immature - I noticed her friends moving away in the last year of primary school. They also seemed to have grown up a lot more than her.

Sounds familiar.

Y6-8 were pretty bad for this. Y9 got better and Y10 is a whole different ball game.

DD has ADHD, a massive need to be in control and was very immature compared with her friends. She wasn't very logical or rational and everything was high drama all the time.

Started meds in Y9 and this year is so much calmer. She has a really nice group of steady friends now and no dramas at all.

So I'd say it's partly just the norm for a significant number Y8 girls and probably exacerbated if she has ADHD.

Thanks @OhCrumbsWhereNow

I suspect she has it but probably not at a level that warrants medicating, I'll see how things go. I had to speak to her teacher though this week and she has concerns over her friendships. She said you can see the change in her behaviour depending who she is friends with at the time. Current friend = good behaviour, early to school, on time to all lessons and engaged. Last friend not so much.....