To change schools

[whatsitgonnabe2]

My DD is 8yrs old (Y4). The secondary she will
hopefully attend is in our catchment area. Her current primary school is not in the same catchment. There might be two-four other children from the whole of y4 who will likely go to the same secondary-all boys.

My dilemma is whether to try to move her before Y6 to at least give time to make friends prior to starting secondary.

She is happy ish at her current primary although there are lots of close friendships due to most living within the area. She isn't in those friendship groups.

Has anyone been in this situation and what did you do. Or, any advice, please?

I’ve not been in the same situation but my dd went to secondary with quite a few of the children from her primary. Within a few months she had a whole new friendship group.
This might set your mind at rest if you do decide not to move her.

Thank you for replying.
It does help as I'm worried about her first few days/weeks of not knowing anyone.
As she doesn't have close friends currently, I'm swaying to exploring if a primary catchment might be a better fit.

Moved mine in year 4, due to job relocation. Perfect age for a move, plenty of time after to make new friends before secondary. Still at an age where they make new friends easily through shared interests, parties, playground play too. In my dc case, I found the change in out of school social groups helped the most in terms of confidence with meeting new friends. Good luck op.

You could ask your daughter whether she wanted to move schools? We moved house (3 miles away from primary school) when one of my sons was in year 2, and there would have been a place for him at a local primary school, but he was absolutely devastated at the thought of moving primary schools - starting getting very very upset; I think this is because it had taken him a long time to feel settled (re friendships) at his original school (a year and a half), and he was extremely distressed at the idea of moving away from his friends. So we didn’t move schools for him, and he went to a secondary school local to our house where he only knew 2 other children - but he found a good set of new friends.

Could you try to make her some friendships with children local to you who may well eventually go to her secondary school? Things like tennis clubs, or brownies / cubs, or even contact the afterschool provider at the primary school local to your house and see if they do holiday clubs, as they may well accept children who don’t attend the primary school, so she could attend that in the holidays and make some new local friends. You have a couple of years to do this, and get her more socially established near where you live.

Perhaps also contact the secondary school - you could ask them what they do as a settling in programme for year 7s. Some of the schools near us do a summer school, which is an informal way of making friends before term starts.

Thank you so much for the replies.
She tells me she's not fully happy at school and feels she doesn't fit in. She seems to play with lots of different children but doesn't have 'a group'. I can't see this improving as the more local children will start to walk to/from school together and 'play out'.

She is enrolled in classes more local to us but I shall look to see what else there might be.

She is very outgoing but doesn't seem to have found her way yet so it's not like a new school now would break-up established friendships.

Why is she on the school in a different area?

It may be worth looking then seeing if a move is feasible

She will either have to make new friends now if you move her, or in Yr 7 when she starts secondary. To my mind it makes much more sense for her to make the new friends at the start of Yr 7.

Thank you for sharing

The catchment primary was full (at the time)
This school was second choice.

Is there space at the school that you would like her to move to?

My daughter was happy and settled at her primary school but went to a different high school to the vast majority of her peers which was walking distance (my daughter had a bus journey). She didn't know anyone at the new high school but settled in quickly and had a good friend group.

The secondary school I work at takes from about 20 different primaries. This means we often have children who come on their own or just in 2s/3s. The first couple of weeks can be tricky, but they soon make friends and most are usually ok by October half-term so I wouldn’t move her for that reason alone. However, if she’s not completely happy in her current school that’s a different issue. Are there spaces available in a closer school that you’re happy with?

I went to Grammar School with no one from my primary and made loads of friends. GD has just moved up from Primary to Secondary within the same school and has made a whole new group of friends in six weeks, mainly among the new intake. Children change so much when they go to Secondary that I wouldn’t worry about them moving up with friends. Just choose the best school for your DC

I've not yet checked so it's quite possible there isn't and the decision is then made.
Thank you for sharing-makes me feel better knowing others have experienced and made friends quickly.

Thank you. A pp mentioned asking the secondary what they have in place for settling in so I plan to do this.
I know
Some schools do sessions over the summer and offer mentors.

Thank you. I think I'm worrying more than she is (the life of a mum!):
I just want to do the best thing for her.
She's very outgoing but I'm already seeing little signs of unhappiness when the close friendship groups in her year are centred girls living on the same street.
The primary near us might help her meeting children from out local area and develop friendships