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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Secondary choice dilemma

28 replies

Scrimch · 25/10/2023 14:25

Would you choose school A or B for a sensitive and academic boy? We are in catchment for B but would get into A if we put it first.

A
Outstanding, top quality teachers, amazing results. Progress 8 particularly strong for high achievers (my DS is in this group). 20 minute drive.

B
Good reputation, reasonable results, nurturing atmosphere. Results much better for low achievers than high. Has a sixth form and DS could get there on the bus (30 minutes).

Handful of friends going to each. DS is very academic, but has a wobbly, anxious side.

OP posts:

JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything · 25/10/2023 14:27

TeenDivided · 25/10/2023 14:27

I'd go for B. I'd worry that A might be too pushy for an anxious child.
Plus he can travel independently.

Misknit · 25/10/2023 14:28

A - sounds like he will be stretched and challenged with like minded peers?

LimeCheesecake · 25/10/2023 14:29

Is it possible to get to A at all without a lift? That limits your options too.

Original poster

Scrimch · 25/10/2023 14:41

We can’t get to A without driving, although it may be possible to lift share in the future

OP posts:

LimeCheesecake · 25/10/2023 16:16

I’d always be worried about a secondary school option where it limits the employment of the parents because they have to do the school run for another 5-7 years. It’s not like primary where there are childminders or breakfast clubs/after school childcare options so you can both work.

otherwise A seems like a good choice

Retrievemysanity · 25/10/2023 16:18

A unless the commute would be a problem.

SecondUsername4me · 25/10/2023 16:27

I wouldn't choose a secondary school that relied on my doing drop/collects.

tarheelbaby · 25/10/2023 17:10

if he's a high achiever, he'll thrive academically at either school. If you're worried about stretch, you could try to engage him at home. Ask teachers for recommendations on what to read/watch/do outside of school.
no extra driving required

Where are most of his friends actually going? Which friends does he want to be with most? School is serious business but you don't want to push him too hard and then have him crack under the pressure.

A bonus for me would be that 6th form is included: no need to go through an application process, meet new teachers, try to find transport. I felt seriously let down that whilst DD1 was finishing GCSEs, we needed to be going to all kinds of open evenings and learning the lay of a whole new land. We know nothing about any of the new teachers, won't know really until it's too late. We are now paying for a monthly train ticket instead of the county providing transport from our village. If we weren't paying for that ticket, we'd be dropping her off and picking her up each day. I finally understand how it happens that pupils leave school after GCSEs.

JaffavsCookie · 25/10/2023 20:26

A no contest
You will find lift shares, you may well be able to drop early and collect late after clubs, school buses may start running that route, you might choose to do some drop offs and some taxis, no need to limit your own employment options as suggested by another poster.

Original poster

Scrimch · 25/10/2023 20:32

The people saying A, would you not worry about an anxious kid being stressed by the high expectations?

OP posts:

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 25/10/2023 22:10

We have 3 school b's and they're actually probably better than that but there's one school A and I wouldn't send DD there. She's quite anxious especially about maths and it would be too much for her

Userxyd · 25/10/2023 22:18

Those saying B due to the anxiety- don't you think academic schools are just different in terms of anxiety compared to less high achieving schools rather than simply more/less?
I'd consider A on the basis that work related stress would likely be less stressful for a sensitive academic child, where in a more "normal" school there'd be the cross section of society kids to contend with - usual behaviour issues, teasing (as opposed to bullying) which may extend to labels like "geek" etc, and those social factors that tend to crop up less in selective / highly academic schools which might be more stressful than lots of homework which he might find manageable or even enjoyable?

TeenMum87 · 25/10/2023 22:28

Retrievemysanity · 25/10/2023 22:29

I said A. No I personally wouldn’t worry about high expectations. I’d much rather high expectations than low ones. I’m sure wherever he goes he will be fine but if he’s academic then personally, I think school A sounds like that’s where there will be more people like him. He won’t be the only anxious one there I’m sure.

Squiblet · 25/10/2023 22:36

If he's a nerdy kid (and I mean that kindly), and school A has more nerds, then A. He'll be so much more comfortable if he's among his tribe.

LimeCheesecake · 26/10/2023 08:33

OP - you know your son - is school work something you feel he is anxious about ? Is being the top of the class something he wants and is stressed about? would he be less triggered being the best at school or being the same as the other kids in his class?

Original poster

Scrimch · 26/10/2023 08:44

Tbh school A has fewer high attainers than B, they just do really well. DS is not currently anxious about work, but he would be if teachers put pressure on him. I don’t know if school A achieve their amazing results by putting pressure on the kids.

OP posts:

peaceinourtime · 26/10/2023 14:15

Stokey · 26/10/2023 20:20

The lack of commutable options for A would put me off. How badly do the high achievers do at B? Are we talking negative P8 or just not as well as A?

Also it's still quite hard to trust the stats as we haven't had that many post Covid. Only really this year's set which are accurate, last year's were still massaged between teacher assessed grades and actual grades.

Are they both good Ofsted? How did they feel when you looked round? What's DS' preference?

Original poster

Scrimch · 26/10/2023 21:26

Not negative. Something like 0.25 vs 1 for high attainers. The overall P8s are more similar. A has an amazing Ofsted report. B is Ofsted Good but hasn’t been inspected for a long time. B felt more relaxed and scruffy, A felt very peppy. DS slightly prefers B but doesn’t mind that much. I just don’t want to do him a disservice by sending him somewhere that is concentrating on the lower attainers and letting the higher attainers coast.

OP posts:

Mrcpy · 30/10/2023 14:49

A. There’s no dilemma here.

Bunnyannesummers · 31/10/2023 12:48

B.
the ability to travel independently would push it to B for me. Gives him a chance to go after school clubs and have last minute commitments and social occasions without any issue. It will serve him in good stead in the future.

allsfairin · 31/10/2023 12:50

describe the INDEPENDENT route to A, if no lift is available

Userxyd · 01/11/2023 08:01

Scrimch · 26/10/2023 21:26

Can you check Ebacc attainment as well because that affects P8 score. Ebacc subjects are more academic and usually harder to get high grades in so just bear that in mind.
Also which kind of subjects does he prefer and what are those facilities like? Sports/arts/music/D&T etc all relevant as well as school trips/musicals/plays.
Anyone you can speak with kids currently in the schools?

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