If your bright child is attending a not great comp, do you do anything to top up their education?

[RudsyFarmer]

And by bright I’m not talking some genius who would be given a fully funded scholarship. Just a bright, enthusiastic, academically switched on child.

I could possibly afford a tutor a couple of times a month. I did look into Kumon but the threads on here put me off. They are naturally geared towards STEM subjects.

I just wonder if I should be hands on or hands off with their secondary education? In an ideal world I’d love to be able to top up their education with something else, but I don’t know what 🤔

What kinds of grades are they achieving? I didn't do extra for my bright son and he got mostly A*s and a couple of As in his GCSEs (we're in Wales so still on the letters rather than numbers for grades).

I think I would have only considered it if he was struggling to achieve what I thought he was capable of (and he'd asked for tutoring too).

He's now doing A levels and again I'd only consider it if he was going to struggle to get the grades he wanted/needed to get on a specific uni course.

I'd start by keeping on top of when they have tests and making sure they revise etc.

I'd save tutoring for GCSE years in your situation. Then you can target either getting top grades in potential A level subjects, or catching up weak ones (especially if weak in English Language).

That’s good advice. They are year 6 currently so there are no grades. Judging from parents evening they are around the top of their year group and ideally I’d like to try and maintain that. Hence the thread.

DC3 attends what is considered absolutely don’t touch on MN (25% 5+ English and maths, -0.7 P8 territory).

We keep an eye on what is happening at school. Not OTT but just by talking to DC3 about what they are learning and enjoying. We take an active role in parents evenings by asking lots of questions and making sure we do know how DC3 is doing rather than accepting “they’re fine”. We make sure DC3 is on top of their work and we try and help if help is asked for.

We do sort of supplement outside of school by having a house full of text books of all levels and other books (find them in charity shops and buy them, it’s surprising the amount of knowledge DC3 has picked up from engineering and science textbooks). We do plenty of things as a family such as museums, trips to places etc. We also did this with DC1 and DC2 who went to a much better school and it may also be just part of who myself and DH are (we used to buy random textbooks and travel a lot before the DC were born and it just hasn’t stopped).

We have a bit of money we have been saving and will continue to save in case it is needed for tutoring in the GCSE years, but in the main, we have let DC3 get on with it. DC3 is happy and enjoying school so we haven’t had anything real/life determining to worry about yet.

To clarify, we don’t force DC3 to read/study the textbooks. They’re just on the shelves and available to be read when interest strikes.

Things I've done:
Kept on top of how they're progressing
Attend all parents evenings and ask how to help DS progress
Make sure DS is doing the things the teachers recommend
Read to them; make sure they read
Jump on anything they seem to have an interest in and find extension activities to help stoke the fire of enthusiasm and motivation
Have conversations with them about what they're learning and what they find interesting/boring
Talk to them about things I'm learning and ask their opinion
Make sure they're healthy and well-slept
Tutors when they're falling below their potential.

Oh, and I always discuss current affairs/politics with them and give them the chance to voice their opinion. There's many a political debate in this house...we all disagree 😂😂

Attend all parents evenings / events
Don’t go on holiday during term time .. ever
Reward effort not attainment
Tutor if you can afford
Discuss peer pressure and how it’s not good to be a follower
Encourage out of school activities

= Oxbridge for us!

I think all of this - extension activities (not crazy amounts, just some) build curiosity and cultural capital wherever you are and are worth doing

plus build a relationship with their teachers

try and put money aside for GCSE / A level tutoring if you can

encourage an interest in the world but chatting about what’s going on

Also build a really good relationship with the teachers and head of year. Discuss any problems with them openly and invite their feedback. Also get to know the governors if possible and don't be afraid to discuss any big problems with them. I've had nothing but good experiences with my sons' schools when there have been issues. They've been amazing.

Honestly save your money, . They will be in top sets and pushed already. It's really not worth it

I found out many parents do this to try and get to or stay at the top. I really did not realize so many did this. I thought tutors are for if you are struggling. My dc are bright and I just left them to it. We focused on park after school, extra curricular activities (both do 6 days of sport a week). I only got a tutor towards the end when we realized we would do the 11+ for my dd, and now my ds. I am not sure a tutor just to stay on top would be a good idea, we did it for a reason (to pass 11+). But then school becomes so incredibly boring for them.

I started it initially to try and pass a super hard exam but that didn’t pan out unfortunately. The difficulty now with certain Uni courses is they are so oversubscribed you need to be one of the top performing students to stand a chance of getting in.

They may of course change their idea of what job they want when they’re older, but assuming they don’t if I can help them I’d like to try.

Thank you 💐

Yes, nothing replaces 1:1 tutoring if used wisely. I use it to strengthen my son's competency to have above average results as well as he clarifies during the tutoring some aspects of math that he didn't catch at school

Are you tutoring weekly? I’m currently focusing on my younger child with the tutor but could alternate them in the future. I’m just not sure 1 hour twice a month is going to have much impact 🥴

For now, trips to museums/galleries, lots of conversations at home to ignite interests/curiosity, reading - go the library, and ask for suggestions.

Save now and pay for tutoring from year 9 or 10 to give a boost if needed.

My son is in Y6. He gets 2h x per week lessons of English writing and 2h x per week maths. In total 4 sessions. Basically a girl year 11 who passed her GCSE with all 8 and 9 tutors him for £ 15 per hour. And I am very pleased with the results as she is very good at it and finds a way to communicate with my son that he pays attention. She understands what is required for GCSE and the way to become above expected. In the past I paid £30 per hour in the centre and it wasn't better. But I must say that he has been always above average, he is just inattentive type.

No extra tutoring. Just proper access to resources like books and plays, and dinner at the table with us most nights. My children got clean sweeps of (old money) A stars at 16 and 18 and went to Durham (and is now teaching at a London university herself) and Cambridge. I considered them bright but not geniuses. One of DS's friends though was full blown genius - went to Oxford and got a double first in Physics, then a PhD, and is now teaching at Ivy League university. He was the son of a fisherman and hospital administrator. All they did was be positive and be great parents.
The school fell into special measures shortly after they left.
I am sure some moderately bright children fell through the gaps and would have benefitted from extra help. But for my children and that young friend they just literally turned up and tuned in.

My bright DC was left to it really, and did very well. My youngest is inattentive and not ‘bright’ so he had 121 tuition weekly throughout high school. He got what he needed at GCSE, now at his chosen Uni studying his chosen course, so all good.

we have always had ‘interesting’ family holidays, as we love exploring and history, so weekends in Rome etc. I think this has helped with their curiosity.
also we have a house full of books and always encouraged reading or outdoor exploring. Though tbh they all spent a lot of time watching Friends…

What about a subscription to the week junior, the science and nature version or something similar? Junior national geographic perhaps?

Regular trips to museums to spark their interest. Doesn't have to be tutoring.

I have a bright Year 8 (dreadful primary school but still waltzed out with top-notch SATS scores). She has a good memory, grasps maths concepts really easily, studies hard and spends ages on things she enjoys. Her school is excellent - unlike your dc - she is in the top sets but most subjects aren’t settled. She is “mostly targeting 9s” but hard to see if it’s realistic yet. School gave us ideas to extend her learning and she goes to some lunchtime clubs (debate, science, history).

The tough part is she gets 7s in English and slipping down. Can’t get her to be interested and one minute she thinks she’ll swan through GCSE like a prodigy (she won’t) and next minute says it doesn’t matter (it doesn’t really).

In Y7 her state school couldn’t afford a Spanish teacher. The regular French sub kept speaking French as she forgot they were in beginners Spanish! Her history teacher had a breakdown and she had random subs for two terms. Her IT teacher was a Physics teacher who didn’t care and missed out half the syllabus. Her other teachers were average to fantastic. State schools are impoverished and hit and miss. That’s your problem.

My dh doesn’t care as he got C’s and B’s and a 2:2 and now earns 6 figures. Says MH and being happy is most important.

I am a tiger mum and desperately competitive! 😂

DD’s planned career doesn’t demand stellar academics but I want her to keep doors open.

if dd English grade doesn’t pick up I’m considering an English tutor - just because she is switched off really. I could easily tutor her in English (A at Alevel and an excellent arts degree) but she won’t let me - she will only let me help with maths (probably because I’m worse at it than her so she ends up thinking it through herself while I’m on BBC cramming the Bitesize KS3 info!)

It is so hard, I don’t want to let her down and naturally I can see she could be SO much more than she is. but I want her to enjoy childhood.

i might drag her to an English tutor just to see. A year 11 or year 13 would be ideal as she wouldn’t want to seem lame - she’d switch on.

I think it’s quite a personal decision for each child tbh - depending if they are self-motivated, switching off and bored already, have high career aspirations etc.