Shy child strict school

[Frossh]

We have two choices for high school for our DD. One is pretty strict (silence entering classroom, tracking the teacher, a particular way of doing homework that involves memorising stuff). It gets brilliant results. My kid is shy, sensitive and conscientious. I can’t work out if the strict school will be good for her (because they’re on top of behaviour and teachers can actually teach) or bad (will she be stressed by the high expectations?). The other option is not brilliant but ok.

Does anyone have a sensitive kid at a strict school? How are they doing?

My DD was very similar and the strict school did wonders. We had to move her to a very relaxed school and she's a stressed mess.

My son goes to a very strict, tracking the teacher, silence type school but fortunately isn't too sensitive. It is very punishment heavy - so even children like mine who are very good and want to follow the rules but are sometimes a bit of a daydreamer/disorganised end up with lots of detentions and isolations.
At first it really upset him but now it's just water off a ducks' back.
I know some children find the stress of making a mistake very difficult though.

As a shy and conscientious child I would have thrived at the strict school. I would have found the adherence to rules really calming.

This is helpful, thanks

Depends on the personality of the child but DD is doing really well at a strict school. Clear expectations and rules so no ambiguity and sanctions are applied fairly and equally. Must add that the rules are sensible and not OTT though. It has helped her get into good habits from the start.

I guess I think the clarity and good behaviour will be helpful, but do high expectations stress contentious kids out?

@Frossh not so far because they reward good behaviour/ attitude not just achievement.

Thank you. I hear reports of children being stressed by the rules/testing etc, but I wonder whether it’s partly a result of the parents not supporting the system. It’s a bit of a marmite school despite the fabulous results.

@Frossh I really think it depends on the personality of the child. Some thrive in a strict routine whilst for others it would be hell. I also think it depends on whether the school are strict about the right things or whether they just pick random petty things to focus on.
As you say, parental support of the school matters too.
In DDs school they are strict about stopping disruptive behaviour, not handing homework in etc which I feel are sensible rules because they are the things which impact on the type of education DC receive.

Sorry forgot to add that DD really is thriving because there are high expectations around behaviour, personal responsibility etc so they don't have to deal with those issues, they can just get on with learning. She wouldn't cope in a class with lots of disruptions.

Thank you that’s very helpful

DDs school is very strict. However I was aware of a few occasions when she nearly had panic attacks due to messing up when a teacher took her aside, reassured her and got her back on track.

She had her first detention recently for missed homework, which was unduly harsh as it was late as she was trying to find the teacher to ask for clarity on the question (online submittal so firm timestamp).

We suspect she has some autistic traits and she likes clear rules.

Thank you. My DD hates disruption and bad behaviour. On the other hand she also hates being told off herself. She is never told off at her current school but I think at a very strict school she’s bound to slip up at some point.