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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

What would you do?

29 replies

cantdecidewhatsbest · 20/10/2023 07:46

The basic question is, would you relocate, 130 miles from 'home', for a better school and lifestyle?

Our eldest DC was unsuccessful in the 11+ locally to us and the local comprehensive is dire.

DH and I have talked about moving for a long time so this decision is exclusively based around schools, but the 11+ has forced our hand to make a decision.

We have 2 options; as this has been a long term idea, DC took and passed the 11+ in another region. We could move there and give them the grammar opportunity, but we're not 💯 sold on the area. Or, we go somewhere else, an area we really like, no grammar school but an excellent comprehensive.

Other ruminations I'm struggling with:

Right now we live on the easy commute into London. If we move, I worry this takes away the opportunity for a city career like DH has enjoyed when the kids are young adults.

Hospitals; one DC has complex heath needs and right now we have a major hospital 15 mins across town. If we move, it will be 30 mins on a motorway. But if he were very ill, we'd need an ambulance or maybe air ambulance so this maybe not the worry I foresee it to be.

So..would you take a leap of faith for a better education for both kids in the long term? Or stick out out where we are?

Work for DH and isn't a factor; he's now fully remote and my work is all over the country so finding a new role shouldn't be an issue.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Elliebellie87 · 20/10/2023 07:48

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Original poster
cantdecidewhatsbest · 20/10/2023 07:53

No; that's not me.

I guess a lot of people are in the same position at the moment.

OP posts:
Elliebellie87 · 20/10/2023 07:56

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Original poster
cantdecidewhatsbest · 20/10/2023 07:57

If you're moving and can prove sale/purchase via solicitors, there are some different rules & deadlines that apply. All new checked out with the local authorities involved.

OP posts:
Elliebellie87 · 20/10/2023 08:00

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Elliebellie87 · 20/10/2023 08:01

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Original poster
cantdecidewhatsbest · 20/10/2023 08:07

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Yes; passed all mocks well.DC is devastated

OP posts:
Unicorn2022 · 20/10/2023 08:23

When you say the local comprehensive is dire, what are you basing this on? If it's OFSTED results then I wouldn't go by that and would make up my own mind about the school. Where are the rest of his class going? I suppose it's too late to look into bursaries or scholarships for independent schools where you are?

We moved several boroughs to get my DS into an "outstanding" school which turned out to be the opposite of outstanding. They just knew how to play the system. Also ratings can change within months and the arrival of a new Head can transform a school.

I don't think you should move to the area you don't particularly like just to get the grammar experience, as not all grammars are equal and it wouldn't be worth the upheaval.

I have a child with medical issues and live on the outskirts of London, and everything is so accessible here I have decided to stay for the next few years at least. It's a difficult decision.

JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything · 20/10/2023 08:33

Tutoring + state school. If you were able to afford private, you are able to afford 1:1 tutoring across secondary school. The effect will be better than at private.

Just keep an eye atbwho is your DC.hangingbout at school

JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything · 20/10/2023 08:36

@Unicorn2022 It is important to read the Ofsted report and not disregard it. If it is about broken fences and therefore safeguarding it is completely different story than poor pastoral care, poor teaching etc

Also GCSE result matter

Rocknrollstar · 20/10/2023 08:37

Are you sure he will get a place in the Grammar School? It’s quite an upheaval to make if you aren’t.

CurlewKate · 20/10/2023 08:50

What do you mean by "dire"? How do the higher achievers do?

ThePearTree · 20/10/2023 09:15

JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything · 20/10/2023 08:33

Tutoring + state school. If you were able to afford private, you are able to afford 1:1 tutoring across secondary school. The effect will be better than at private.

Just keep an eye atbwho is your DC.hangingbout at school

Grammar schools are state schools. The OP hasn’t mentioned private school from what I can see.

JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything · 20/10/2023 09:20

She mentioned 11+ exam @ThePearTree , that can be private or grammar

TheCurtainQueen · 20/10/2023 09:26

Is there even space in the secondary school that you’re considering relocating to be near?

Original poster
cantdecidewhatsbest · 20/10/2023 09:26

I work in education so know how to read the report, inspection was also very recently and they did not do well. I also have the benefit of working locally so know the school well.

OP posts:
ThePearTree · 20/10/2023 09:27

JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything · 20/10/2023 09:20

She mentioned 11+ exam @ThePearTree , that can be private or grammar

The 11+ can yes, but she then only talked about grammar, so we can’t assume that the DC took a private 11+ or that the OP can afford private school.

Original poster
cantdecidewhatsbest · 20/10/2023 09:28

Private school isn't an option. The 11+ is state

OP posts:
meditrina · 20/10/2023 09:28

Deadline for secondary applications is 31 October.

As your DC has already sat and failed 11+ for local grammar, and sat and passed for other one, I take it they're in year 6?

In which case you have 11 days to decide. But as you can only apply from the address where DC is living (ie where you are now) then you cannot count on getting a school place at 130miles distance, unless it's superselective and your DC is above the tie-break score. Is that the case

I think trying to get a place at a "good" comprehensive which you do not live reasonably close to are very small.

The only people who are permitted to use a future address for schools admissions are Armed Forces, with evidence in form of postings order or CO's letter

Validus · 20/10/2023 09:30

No I wouldn’t. I would move to somewhere within the catchment of a good state school - but much closer to home.

crumblingschools · 20/10/2023 09:31

Are there any other schools nearby?

CurlewKate · 20/10/2023 09:34

Can't say unless you give more details about the dire school. But I would absolutely prioritise the health needs of your other child.

Cincills · 20/10/2023 09:37

Yes definitely, I would move for a better school. A bad school will struggle to keep teachers, is more likely to have them teaching out of their degree area, and to have disruption which will lead to DCS not achieving the results they were capable of.
Some schools are really really struggling at the moment. I would prioritise this.

TeenDivided · 20/10/2023 09:40

Time is not on your side due to applications deadline.

If you had the £££ to move to say Winchester you would be close to a hospital (or do you really need a large London one?) and surrounded by good comps. Whichever you were allocated would be fine. 1hr or less commute by train to Waterloo.

YeaGads · 20/10/2023 09:42

DS was sent to the rather dire secondary school that is local to us. We still live near it and the school still has bad results. We are not in a grammar school area. He did really well and got all A grades at A level. We also work in education, only you know your child. Are you not confident in their ability? My friend is also a teacher and her daughters were sent to her local secondary. She lives on the edge of a really deprived ex mining area that’s a few miles from me I mean it’s really rough and her daughters have done really well. All our children are at University now doing subjects they wanted to, well mine got on to a degree apprenticeship so actually more competitive that regular higher education and is getting a free degree and paid 28k per annum.