Please help - expulsion / managed move year 11

[ManagedMove]

Im so sorry this is so long but I'm desperate to be honest! TD:LR daughter is being managed out/expelled and I think it's grossly unfair.

I had a call from my year 11 daughters school last week to say she was drunk at school and to pick her up. To say I was floored is an understatement. Anyway I picked her up and when we got home she told me that lots of year 11s and sixth form students take alcohol into school on a weekly basis and she and her friends wanted to join in. Anyway we didn't have any alcohol she could take so her and two friends toom whisky, rum and vodka from her friends houses. They all had a bit to drink at lunch but then my daughter had an awful falling out with one of her friends and drank all of the rest herself. To cut a long story short, she was very sick and her teacher realised what had happened.

My daughter has had a horrible time for the last two years, with widespread online hate campaigns against her, pushing on the stairs, being physically attacked. Honestly the list goes on but she's so scared of it happening in another school where she has no friends that she's refused to move. She has a Camhs referral for a suicide attempt and also for an ADHD assessment and I have been paying for private counselling since her suicide attempt. Anyway the bullying is relevant because it does involve so much of the year group that her two friends are her lifeline and so there is no way she will tell on them (or anyone else, we live in a smallish town, if she named names she'd have a bad time). So she told the teaxhers that although she didn't bring alcohol in she was the only one drinking.

She was suspended at first but then we were called to a meeting and basically told she would be managed out. We were absolutely against this, she is terrified of changing schools and the only other schools that might take her, one would mean one of us changing jobs as there is no public transport, or school transport and it's miles away down country roads. The other, it seems, is full.

Anyway in this meeting they pushed and pushed for a reason why she argued with her friend, I hadn't really gone into this with her because they argue a lot. Devestibgly it turns out my daughter was abused by a female friend when she was 12. This friend had said they were girlfriends and made my daughter do things that she didn't want to. I had no idea at all! Anyway I felt like after the meeting the head was genuinely considering letting her stay with all the circumstances given. Social services also asked him to not move her (they had to get involved due to underage drinking).

But it turns out no matter how nice he was I. The meeting it was all a bit of a sham and she still has to go. This being despite the fact he knows other people had alcohol and that she didn't bring any in (that's as much as she told him and he didn't even push for names, I think he's happy for her to be a scapegoat).

Im so angry, if this had happened a year ago I'd have been delighted to find her a new school because honestly that school has let her down constantly but not when she has so little time left. So I'd really appreciate any help on how to appeal and how to complain. I think the head is dragging his feet so we lose our right to appeal to be honest. We haven't received any info on that despite asking.

Well done if you got this far, we ar still reeling from all of this. I'm glad it happened just because it meant my daughter told me about what happened to her but I don't want her Gcses ruined by a silly decision.

@Leah5678 it's essential that the op doesn't remove her daughter for elective home education as that then removes the local authorities statutory duty to provide and education. If it's something op wishes to do after the permanent exclusion process has been followed correctly by the school, then that's up to the op.

Oh that I can agree with, wait until the school have legally expelled her first. If they do I don't think it would be the end of the world based on what op has written there's only a few months left and she'll be off to college, missing a few months of being bullied by everyone except 2 kids who you have to walk on eggshells to please lest you be left with no one isn't a bad thing.

Honestly the textbooks explain things better than a lot of teachers 🤷🏻‍♀️ when you get to a certain age you can pretty much teach yourself if you're motivated to, just my opinion I'm sure many will disagree though

She needs somewhere to take the exams. You cannot do these at home. So having some educational provision registered with an exam board is vital.

Is there an element of if she didn’t bring in the alcohol herself, that the school has some responsibility in keeping her safe on school premises?

@HazardLights That is a real stretch. She’s clearly broken school rules by drinking. However there are mitigating arguments to move from permanent exclusion to reinstatement. There’s always an agreement when DC do return to school. Not sure if OP has an exclusion letter yet from the head. If not, she’s not excluded or suspended. The Head must send a letter “without delay” saying what the exclusion/suspension is and how to make representations. Exclusion cannot be used as a threat to enforce a managed move.

Thank you for the response, I was just curious.

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What are the SEN support staff doing for her??? My DD is adhd and gets loads of support

Children with SEN are 5 times more likely to get a permanent exclusion than other DC. Therefore support is essential. I’m not sure the DD has been managed by the school in a supportive way given the issues. She seems to be like a moth around the worst possible DDs though. It’s important to make friends with sensible DDs. Walk away and don’t get involved in something you know is wrong. This is something you need to learn for the whole of your life, not just school.

Dh has sat on panels for people appealing permanent exclusion.

He really does not enjoy it at all.

But I know there was one time he was on one, I don't know any of the details, but the appeal won. His comment was that the parents came with a plan of action, the pupil was in full agreement with the plan of action, and they didn't spend the appeal making excuses, rather admitted the fault and explained how they were going to make it different carrying forwards with the schools help.

I will also add that the pupil not only completed their schooling with little further issues and far exceeded expectations.

If you are wanting to appeal, I suggest you do similar. If you go in with excuses about why it wasn't really their fault, they've heard all that before.

It does sound like the head is trying to dodge the official process, possibly to try and force you to accept a managed move. On the one hand in this scenario I don't think a managed move would be such a terrible idea - it sounds like a toxic environment at her current school and maybe a fresh start at a new school would be the best thing for her.

On the other hand, if you are really confident that staying at her current school is the best thing, then definitely as a starting point, get the head to properly follow the official process, including putting things in writing etc. It may be that he is just using the prospect of permanent exclusion as a threat and he won't actually officially go through with it.

As well as this, if the official paperwork isn't done correctly, the exclusion can be overturned on those grounds.

But from everything you have said, I would look seriously at the option of a managed move, and see if you can make it work. If it doesn't work out she can still return to her previous school.

@MargaretThursday Independent appeal panels can recommend reinstatement only. Therefore a reintegration plan (by anyone) is not part of an appeal. It’s an appeal against the exclusion, not what might happen afterwards which is entirely down to the Head. It’s clearly day to day management of the school. Appeals are about ensuring a fair exclusion decision has been reached by the governors, that the circumstances that led to the decision were robustly and properly investigated plus all rules being followed.