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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

£120 a week on tutoring

16 replies

Panic71 · 15/10/2023 13:44

Son is in year 11 and one of those kids who has to work so hard. His friends have photographic memories and gets 9s without revision. He’s currently aiming for 5s/6s and having to have 2 hours a week maths and English. Feel so sad for him and he’s exhausted. We are looking at btech options and then the military as an officer.
Is anyone else struggling with the expectations on their kids and the pressure from schools?

OP posts:

trippadviza · 15/10/2023 14:20

Obviously you want your child to do as well as possible, but hopefully you know the grading system is all relative - there is no way on earth that everybody can get a high grade, because grade boundaries are set to only allow the top x% to do so. If your son is one of the ones who gets average grades or scrapes a pass, then fine. He may have a less academic future ahead, but he can still make a valuable contribution to society by developing other skills. How you and he deal with this comes down to emotional intelligence.

Does your school not celebrate every child's achievement if they meet their personal targets? Ours does.

12345change · 15/10/2023 15:50

Please don't believe others when they say they don't revise it's nonsense! Even with a photographic memory which I'm not convinced by anyway you need to know how to use that material to get the appropriate marks.

What is your DS school doing to support him?

RedHelenB · 15/10/2023 15:53

It'll be money we'll spent if he gets the grades he needs for what he's aiming for post16 I'm sure.

Original poster

Panic71 · 15/10/2023 15:59

The school is supportive but seem to be panicking and reacting a bit late in the day with extra interventions etc.
Im happy to spend the money - it’s just that I know many can’t and I wonder how many feel under pressure too.

OP posts:

Maireas · 15/10/2023 16:04

His friends haven't got "photographic memories" - nor do students get 8/9s with no revision. (People will come on here, and say that was them - ignore them).
He just needs to focus on what needs to be covered. Get the Specification and break ot down. Spend a bit of time working with revision guides, Bitesize and Seneca learning. No need for tutors to that extent.

12345change · 15/10/2023 16:17

Wow are you saying that the school is making you pay £120 for extra tutoring? Have I misunderstood this?

Original poster

Panic71 · 15/10/2023 17:46

Not making, but keen for parents to do what that can and more!

OP posts:

clary · 15/10/2023 18:09

I agree with those who say his friends have not got photographic memories, whatever that might be; if they are achieving and continue to achieve all 8s and 9s (which as others say, can only be a certain, small proportion of students) they they are working hard too.

Not everyone is as academically able as that. That's fine. They will achieve the best they can, hopefully, which is all anyone can ask. Please don't feel sad for him.

If he gains a decent set of 5s and 6s that's great and will open lots of doors for him post-16. A student I know who gained similar GCSE grades did a course tat engaged them post 16 and has just started an apprenticeship with a top-class firm in that area. All good.

If your DS works hard and does his best, his hard-won grades and the work that went into them will stand him in really good stead going forwards.

IDidntKnowMyOwnStrength · 15/10/2023 18:13

There's lots of free tutorials covering all subjects on youtube for all grades.

LeviOsaNotLeviosaa · 16/10/2023 10:19

£120 a week?! DS is y11, and needs boosting to get to a 4 in English (highly intelligent, but also highly dyslexic). We're paying £155 a month for 1.5hrs a week.

Online isn't the same, I don't think. DS finds it helpful that his is completely personalised.

TailoringExcellence · 17/10/2023 00:39

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Justamother75 · 17/10/2023 07:33

My child has ASD, anxiety disorder. Nevertheless, we are not giving up.
Tutors were found on Tutorful website, £20 for English and £25 for Science/Maths.
If your child has problems, have you tried to know why he suffers? Illness, low vitamins level or fatigue symptom can be an explanation. Or maybe school problems.
You must also understand some people to remember have to see, other - to hear and third - to touch.
My child learned MFL basing on Maths Study Book, it was easy to him. MFL study book did not work at all. He still doesn’t know English alphabet but perfect with grammar and punctuation…
The last is the most important thing- Does your child want to help himself?

AnySoln · 17/10/2023 16:57

I disagree not all getting high marks are working hard. Some do have amazing memories. At uni a hoysemate got top marks - she opened the folder and read it morning of the exams. She never worked hard and got all A's alevels.
However it is true some kids say they are doing no work.

For maths would an app work better?
6 is still a good grade its a B!
I have poor short term memory so have to work really hard a long time beforehand.

Original poster

Panic71 · 17/10/2023 20:38

Just to clarify it’s 2 hours a week English and 1 hour maths for £120 a week. English face to face and maths online

OP posts:

Original poster

Panic71 · 17/10/2023 20:38

The maths feels the biggest climb as struggling to get a 5.

OP posts:

PattyDukeAstin · 17/10/2023 20:46

My son needed tutoring in order to pass GCSE maths - face to face and it helped enormously - tailored for him (revision cards, exercises etc). Passing makes such a difference rather than resitting. He also had some exceptionally bright friends but they also worked hard (much harder than my son). Him telling you that they don't work/need to work is possibly not true.

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