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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Which school?! Big dilemma

23 replies

newyorky09 · 14/10/2023 09:09

I’m in a huge dilemma about which secondary school to send my son (in yr 6) to and would appreciate any advice! It’s a choice between the local school my older son attends and the school I currently teach at.

local school- was good when my older son got a place but last few years huge changes and issues. Bad ofsted. Not been happy with various things about the school including some behaviour and lack of any trips etc. some worrying reports about behaviour issues although older son seems to say lessons ok. But my son could walk there and some primary friends going. He’d also be with older brother. Am also worried about older brother feeling hard done by if younger son doesn’t attend.

school I work at- great school, loads of opportunities, great behaviour but 30 min drive away so any new school friends would live at a distance.

my son does make friends fairly easily but I’m worried at my school he might feel isolated as the other students would all live locally. There are a couple of other teachers whose child are starting next September though he could potentially get to know beforehand.

Any advice welcome - am having lots of sleepless nights currently!

OP posts:

MustBeNapTime · 14/10/2023 09:25

Which would your son prefer? I would honestly go with which one he would prefer. He's more likely to succeed in an environment he has helped choose. At his age I think you can have a good pro's and con's conversation with him. Wouldn't mention the fact his brother might resent him though! 😉

gotomomo · 14/10/2023 09:29

Which one can he get a place at? In many areas the choice is an illusion

FallingAutumnLeaf · 14/10/2023 09:33

Would your child get a place at a school 30 mins drive away?

How big is the school? Will he always be Mrs Yorky's child?

Is there a school C? Neither sound perfect currently.

glassyglass · 14/10/2023 09:34

Which one can he get a place at? both!

Would your child get a place at a school 30 mins drive away?

She works there!

glassyglass · 14/10/2023 09:35

I would chose the better one personally

TheCunctator · 14/10/2023 09:35

I'd go with School B. Children at independent schools manage despite most pupils being a drive away from school, and despite the children around them going to local schools.

SunnySomer · 14/10/2023 09:38

Is yours an independent school? So that the choice actually is a possibility?
I would go with his choice. Also - if you’re not happy with local school would it be possible to move your older son?

glassyglass · 14/10/2023 09:41

Is yours an independent school? So that the choice actually is a possibility?

It doesn’t have to be an independent school to give admissions priority to staff

CloudWhisperer · 14/10/2023 09:46

I chose the best school for my son which in your case was school A for Ds1 now it would be school B for Ds2.

Re the local school and friends, we are on one side of the catchment for an incredible school which both mine attended. Both my sons managed to make friends with people on the other side of the catchment so a 45 minute walk to get to their house from ours. Most of my children's out of school socialising is done online via headsets, playing the same games, doing homework together as a group study chat, playing different games to each other but still talking. They are in lessons together, break, lunch and school clubs. Plus linger after school for a post school chat.

They all prefer chatting on headsets in their own homes because they all have their own computer whereas if you went to your mates and there were 6 of you everyone would take it in turns and some children have their computers in their bedrooms (not here) and they would all have to cram in. Some share their rooms too.

Send your second child to the school you teach in.

CloudWhisperer · 14/10/2023 09:48

Lots of state schools also have the child of a member of staff who has held their post for 2 years yadda yadda as part of the admissions criteria.

Original poster

newyorky09 · 14/10/2023 09:58

Thanks for the advice. Mine isn’t independent but he would get a place.

OP posts:

JanglyBeads · 14/10/2023 09:59

Staff children don't necessarily get admissions priority, they don't at my school.

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 14/10/2023 10:02

Would be be able to travel to and from your school independently, or would he always have to come and go with you, so no hanging out with friends after school? What about travelling to meet up with friends at weekends and in holidays? I think he might miss out on a lot of the social aspects of secondary school, which his brother gets to enjoy.

clary · 14/10/2023 10:04

Hi op. I am assuming there is a category for children of staff, so he would get a place?

I have taught in schools where colleagues’ DC attended. In general it was ok but a) they were all local do it was their local school, b) the staff were PE teachers or part time. Can I ask what you teach? Would it be a burden for your DC?

Another former colleague moved to teach in a school 30 mins away and his DC go there; my dc said this might be a mare for them as he is a strict and not always popular maths teacher! I think it could be a mare for him as he a) can’t leave for the next 11 years (two dc) and b) can’t really go in early or stay late.

How far is 30 mins btw? Where I live that could be 25 miles (my commute) or five miles (across town in the rush hour). That might make a difference in logistical terms.

Agree, what does your dc think? That’s a big factor. If he prefers local, could you go there and switch to your school if it’s a nightmare in terms of behaviour etc?

Boomboom22 · 14/10/2023 10:05

I think as a teacher op is well aware of the relevant criteria and her school clearly has the pretty standard worked there for 2 years priority clause.

SecondUsername4me · 14/10/2023 10:07

How would he get to the 30min school and back each day? I assume he couldn't travel in with you as your hours won't match? And then if you are off ill, is there an alternative way?

twistyizzy · 14/10/2023 10:09

Always go for the better school! A 30 min drive really isn't that far. We are rural so anywhere is that distance for us and the kids cope fine.

Original poster

newyorky09 · 14/10/2023 10:13

Thanks again. Yes he’d definitely get a place. He’d have to travel with me but there is a train plus walk which would be possible for meeting friends when he’s older.

OP posts:

glassyglass · 14/10/2023 10:25

Staff children don't necessarily get admissions priority, they don't at my school.

No one has said that because it depends on the school. In this case it was clear from the OP that she is offered this option.

glassyglass · 14/10/2023 10:26

As a kid in London a 30 min journey to secondary school was considered quick, many travel much further.

Bluevelvetsofa · 14/10/2023 10:55

A thirty minute drive is going to be longer by public transport, so he might be happy to go with you in Year 7, he probably won’t be in Year 9. I speak from experience!

How long would it take him on public transport.

Malbecfan · 14/10/2023 12:38

Playing devil's advocate, OP what happens if your child goes to your school and you take a new job elsewhere? Would your DS still be able to get to that school? Are you potentially tying yourself into staying there for the next 7 years?

Having just written that, both my DDs came to my school. On my non-working days, there was a bus from 1.5 miles away, so they used that. It was lovely having them there with me. Because this is a fairly rural area, even if they had gone to the "local" comp, it would mean lifts to meet up with friends, so we already factored that in. I had been there for 8 years when DD1 went; I'm now in my 22nd year there.

JanglyBeads · 14/10/2023 15:37

(I cross posted with the OP at that point)

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