Y7 London state secondary- PTA/whatsapp groups/socials

[Pisserdansunviolon]

Tell me what happens at your school please?

As a new y7 parent, I thought our PTA might do a set piece event termly with some kind of school fundraising purpose. Our school website mentions one- I emailed them a couple of times to find out more and offer to help out. No response, no sign of them around school. I can see that they ran an end of year thing for leavers but they aren’t advertising anything for this term/year so far.

I also hoped that there might be a central link to set up a y7 parents whole year (and/or per tutor group) whatsapp group for more day to day stuff. Nope.

Talking to parents at the other state secondaries nearby, they have these. Plus regular social activities or events for y7 parents organised by PTA and also social events for y7 parents by the school.

I’d like a sense of community with the other parents at our school, we all have several years there ahead of us. So I’d consider offering to set something up myself for y7 parents and to work with our PTA.

I’d love to hear what happens at other schools. What did you find worked, if you or your school runs things for y7 parents?

I have a friend with a child at a London state secondary with a Whatsapp group (that drives her a bit mad tbh) and when she told me I was really surprised as I’d never come across that before. We’re on our fifth secondary school (two in London, three not) and none of them had anything like it. Basically the level of school community that you have at primary just doesn’t reproduce. The school size and the level of parental involvement at that stage of schooling are so different.

PTA ditto - a couple of schools had a few events - dress up days, quiz nights - but very low key, and others I don’t think had any. It never occurred to me to get involved so no idea how easy it would have been.

Crickey no.... done 3 secondaries and no WhatsApp groups thank goodness. Dds year group was like 8/10 form entry so don't think would even cope on WhatsApp, Ds current school only 40 in year but still no groups.

Surely at secondary age they can choose from the opportunities available locally and build own social life? The kids WhatsApp groups cause enough drama without a parent version.

We have a year parent WhatsApp group at our London comp but I think it was started via our area parents’ Facebook group - then by word of mouth. There are maybe 100 people on there (child now in year 9) and it’s a six-form entry school so not all parents, but a good few. The school keeps sending emails asking parents to join the PTA but that’s not my cup of tea so I haven’t taken much notice. I don’t think the PTA have organised much yet, perhaps it is new.

Our secondary (inner city comprehensive) has WhatsApp groups for each year moderated by the PTA. They tend to answer small questions about school life, events and who to contact about what. The PTA use them to keep in contact with the parents and recruit for volunteers for events & fundraisers.

Occasionally they blow up but they're generally a good thing.

I think at secondary parents are far less involved than they were at primary so less reason to do anything for them to get to know each other. I didn’t even get to go in the building when DS was in year 7 due to Covid. I have been to a few things since then - year group info evenings and school plays - and always realise how many of the other parents I know, some from primary, some even from nursery and toddler group days, some from various groups/hobbies/social life round the are. Appreciate this may be unusual for London!

Blimey there are almost 400 per year group at my dc’s secondary- just thinking of that as a what’s app group gives me a headache!

There is a fb group set up by a parent which people just know by word of mouth but that’s just people posting angrily about their child’s (unnamed) lost property.

Haven’t heard anything about a pta.

Huge London comprehensive... over 400 in each year.

No PTA afaik. There is a Parents' Forum that meets once a month, but it clashes with a standing commitment I have so I have never been.

We have a parents' WhatsApp for the year group - which I only found out about last summer (DD in Y10), and has less than a quarter of the year on. It's mildly useful but I keep it on mute!

School has occasional social events for parents and we get notice of these in newsletter, but definitely nothing arrange by PTA or similar.

Maybe it's because DD started secondary during lockdown, but in 3 years I've only been to the school 4 times.

It's very different from Primary where I was there twice a day.

Most parents are happy not to have to be overly involved by secondary age.

PTA in secondary is a real struggle. I was keen, and involved, and we used to organise IIRC a Christmas fair, but it was tough getting anyone to commit. As others say, parents are a lot more remote in secondary and kids are less interested in the PTA stuff they loved in primary.

In the end I left the PTA as the meetings clashed with an activity my kids were very keen on and no one copied me in on notes/requests etc.

Never had a WhatsApp group but with 200+ in a year that's probably just as well.

I think when children move onto secondary school it's hard to envisage that you aren't going to have the same sort of interactions that you had in primary school. I imagine some of the WhatsApp groups get set up because of this but tbh they are unnecessary & probably a nightmare. Fortunately my children pre dated WhatsApp groups. I was on the PTA but we really struggled to get much engagement.

Both my DC have what's app groups at London secondary.

Both schools are 6 form entry and neither are organised by the school but just word of mouth through the parents. DD1 goes to a grammar and think that was set up during the transition days they ran. There's also separate class groups but they aren't widely used. It is useful for information about school events - picking up after matches, plays etc. This school has a very active PTA that also seems out regular messages on the group asking for help with events and donations.

DD2 (Y7) goes to a local school and about 30 kids from her previous school joined so a What's App group was set up from that. That's spread by word of mouth and local FB groups. There's now over 100 participants. It's been really useful for details about log in, payments, how things work, what they need to remember, especially in Y7. I think both also give you a feel of the community. Nothing from this PTA yet but I think there is one.

Never heard of this. Not at the London secondary DD goes to, nor any of the others locally. As far as I know there's no PTA. I just assumed that this wasn't a thing in secondary schools

Thanks everyone, these are such varied experiences. Not quite sure what my take home is yet.

I wouldn’t want to replicate primary again, having been a class rep but I would like to get to know other parents at the school. Plus the school could do with any PTA extras so I am intrigued what our PTA might be all about.

Still interested to hear from anyone whose PTAs or schools put on regular or occasional events/activities for secondary parents, about what seems to work? One of the PTAs near me runs a monthly book group and a Christmas and a summer pub quiz for parents, for example.

Quite a few of the secondaries around us (SW London) have active PTAs so it's definitely a thing.

(Not a London secondary; I don't see that London would do things differently?)

No PTA. Parents just aren't involved to that level.

We have a year group FaceBook group (but DD is now Year 13, so I suspect it might be a WhatsApp group if set up these days). It's mostly full of parents complaining that the school don't send a letter for every little thing that happens. (Some of these non letters are later discovered in unread email or at the bottom of bags).

I agree with PPs - I don't even know half my children's friends' parents. It's not remotely the same set up as at secondary school. Plus the children themselves are expected to take more responsibility for themselves.

Ime it is a thing at the more MC London secondary schools as well as being common in private schools. WhatsApp groups for year groups and classes.
PTA events range from quiz and curry nights, bbq nights, film screenings to dinner/dance/balls.

I love the fact that I don't have to do all this at secondary. I am living for the day that my last leaves primary.

I would like to get to know other parents at the school

Could I ask why you are so keen on meeting other parents in this setting? Are you new to the area - in my experience and thinking back to my own secondary school days it is not usual for secondary schools to offer social opportunities for the parents. I guess because by that time most people have an established parent friendship groups with people they have met at their kids primary schools or other activities over the years.

That’s why I asked about other London parents because in London or any city there can be a choice of secondaries. The primary school population can be more transient too. It’s pretty common not to end up in secondary with lots of the same kids from primary.

I’d like to at least meet some of the other families with kids at the same year in secondary. I’m used to being able to chat about school stuff with other parents. I think an actively community minded school is also probably good, so I’m curious about how different schools do things.

My kids go to private secondary, so not much help to you, but we were encouraged to sign up for Classlist, rather than set up WhatsApp groups by form. It means a parent can opt in centrally and choose to share contact details or not, rather than any data protection issues of an all class WhatsApp or whatever.

No, nothing. No PTA, no WhatsApp, no pass-agg messages from other parents. I have so little contact with my children's school life that I didn't realise that my son was friends with a colleague's son. I'd dropped him outside the house, he'd been for days out with them, I'd exchanged texts the mum...it was only when she came here to collect her son one day that we realised we knew eachother from work!

London secondary but private. We have a WhatsApp group and an active PTA. I think it's nice and the WhatsApp group can be very useful.

I’d like to at least meet some of the other families with kids at the same year in secondary. I’m used to being able to chat about school stuff with other parents. I think an actively community minded school is also probably good, so I’m curious about how different schools do things.

As other have said, "chatting about school stuff" (what school stuff?) just isn't really a thing at secondary school. Partly because you have so much less idea what your DC is actually doing and partly because it becomes much more likely that your child's needs/aspirations and those of the parent you are talking to will diverge so you have to watch your wordds. It's a bit like the superficial level most people talk about their partners jobs.

I have children at 2 different state secondaries

School 1: PTA fairly active - quiz night for Y7 parents, j uniform sale, Christmas fair, disco for Y7 kids. No WhatsApp or Facebook.

School 2: No PTA whatsoever. School do a uniform sale. I'm in a WhatsApp leftover from primary school (many of them moved up together). There is a Facebook group for all parents in whole school which is the best place to share info or all questions. It's actually not too active has admins and very useful. This is the best thing out of anything.

Probably the best way to get to know a couple of parents is to have your kid’s friends over and invite in for a cup of tea when the parent comes to pick up? I don’t think the whole form or year will be the way to do this.