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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

How can I get over my disappointment?

35 replies

swimona · 30/09/2023 23:19

DC currently in year 6 and we've recently visited our catchment secondary.

I'm just so disappointed, it's run down, drab and has a large intake. It just makes me so sad that they will be going there in September.

DC however just wants to be where their friends are.

I don't even know what I want from this post.

I could take them to see another school that is a 20 minute bus ride away but I imagine that they won't want to go (and not guaranteed a place anyway).

OP posts:

Toddlerteaplease · 02/10/2023 12:03

I wouldn't be letting an 11 year old choose. You need to make the best decision for her.

redskytonights · 02/10/2023 12:36

twistyizzy · 02/10/2023 11:06

@redskytonights actually for DD it is a chance to catch up with friends and de-compress after a full day of school. I chose the best school for her, the nearest is dire. Most schools finish so early ie between 2.45-3.30 that an extra 20 min journey really doesn't see them get home that late.

But your daughter could equally meet friends (and what if they don't get the same bus?) and decompress in other ways that don't involve the bus journey. It's hardy a benefit of having a bus ride.

I agree 20 minute journey (plus time both ends) isn't too bad - you said your daughter's journey was 90 minutes which seems a very long way unless there is a really specific reason for preferring a school.

twistyizzy · 02/10/2023 12:42

@redskytonights no my daughter's journey is 30 mins.
I used to travel 1 hour to secondary when I was her age. I've never said it was a 90 min journey because I agree that would be too far.

redskytonights · 02/10/2023 12:54

twistyizzy · 02/10/2023 12:42

@redskytonights no my daughter's journey is 30 mins.
I used to travel 1 hour to secondary when I was her age. I've never said it was a 90 min journey because I agree that would be too far.

Ah my apologies I realise I read your "1 bus 30 minute journey" as "1 hour 30 minute journey". I'm glad we agree that this would be too far :)

Flyhigher · 02/10/2023 18:50

Send them to the best school. Ignore where friends are going. They often ditch them at school anyway.

cansu · 02/10/2023 18:56

Don't send them anywhere they can't travel back from alone.

Flyhigher · 02/10/2023 22:12

If you can drive them there and back. Even better. You get to talk to them.

Original poster

swimona · 03/10/2023 06:41

Thank you for all your input.

To clarify, both schools are a bus ride away, catchment school is 4 miles away but DC could walk to the bus stop. The other I would need to drive (about 10 minutes round trip).

As the first bus serves a few villages the travelling time isn't really a huge factor as it appears there's not a huge difference.

Interesting people saying that a 10YO can't make such a big decision, this is how I feel too.

OP posts:

Totalwasteofpaper · 03/10/2023 06:50

twistyizzy · 02/10/2023 09:10

I would be wary of placing too much importance on going where friends go. They tend to drift apart once they start secondary and there can also be bullying/social exclusion between primary friends if some pull away early on. IMO 10 Yr old shouldn't be making the decision aa they haven't got the maturity to make decisions about their future. We didn't let DD choose her secondary school, she was the only one from her primary to go, but after 4 weeks she has settled and made friends.
Visit them all, compare them according to your criteria and make the decision that feels right for your child.

Edited

+1
You know better than a 10 yr old

twistyizzy · 03/10/2023 07:23

@swimona DD will decide what she does after GCSEs and for Uni etc but at 10 yrs old they just aren't equipped to make that decision.

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