Would you go private?

[PumpkinPie2016]

Just after other opinions 🙂

DH and I have one son who is now in Y5 at a very good, village state primary.
DS is our only child- there won't be anymore.
He enjoys school and is a bright little boy (greater depth for Maths/Reading and expected for writing).

I have started looking at secondary options.

There is a school in the next village- I actually attended this school (many years ago now 😳) and did well there. However, much has changed and when we went to the open evening, we weren't very impressed. A lot of the staff didn't seem very enthusiastic, little curriculum information and in some departments, staff tied themselves up with activities, leaving no one to actually answer questions.

Speaking to various people who know the school/have kids there, it seems behaviour isn't great. Plus, results don't look great either.

Husband and son also came to the secondary I work in. It is in the nearby town. I would absolutely be happy for my son to attend my school from an educational perspective. DH and DS really like it too. However, I worry about the dynamics of teaching at the same school he attends.

Finally, we went to a private, fee paying grammar school in our town. We all really liked the school and class sizes are smaller compared to state which I feel would be good.

Essentially, I feel our choice is between the school I work in or the private school. I will probably apply to both but because of my worries about the dynamics, I am leaning towards private. We are fortunate in that we can afford the private option.

So, suppose my question is what would you do in mu shoes? Any advice is appreciated as this is the only time of choosing a secondary school for us!

Hey OP - I taught in a school and there were staff whose DC went there. I am not aware it was ever an issue. What are your concerns specifically?

One colleague was a PE teacher and head of KS and popular with the kids which I guess may have made it easier for her DC. Another friend and his wife both teach at the school their DC attend. Again, no issues AFAIK.

If you didn't teach in this school, would it be your top choice for your DS? So you would be choosing the private school purely (mainly?) to avoid the "my mum teaches here" vibe? I'd want a better reason to spend £100k+ on something that could be had for free, if I am honest.

If there is a better reason - so if the private really offers something the state school cannot, and that is something you want (great sports facilities and competition, much better science labs, greater range of GCSE options, networking opportunities in later life?) then that is a different matter of course.

Out of interest, would your DS get a place at the school you work in? Is there a category for children of staff? Or is it close enough that people go there anyway from your area (only asking as you say "the nearby town" which would exclude it where I live - unless there is a staff-kids option).

Can’t you try and get a job at the private school and get a good reduction of school fees? My sister did that with her children in the school.

In my sons independent school there are loads of mums / dads working at the same school and the children attend the school - I bet there is 20 at least if not more

Which did your ds prefer? What does he think about going to the school where you work? Has he been to taster days in each?

The classic move would be work at the private school so you get a reduction on the school fees.

What are your concerns about your DS being at the same school you teach at? If you go private, all the teachers will have their kids at the school.

When I was at school lots of kids had teacher parents working at the school.
It was never an issue for anyone from what I saw.
Don't rule out your school for that reason.

I went to the middle school where my mum taught. She wasn’t a particularly popular teacher (quite strict) - I used to get bullied because of this.

She also taught me for three years (it wasn’t a massive school), and it was pretty awkward. Lots of sniggering when I called her “Mrs Barqs” but I obviously couldn’t/wouldn’t call her “mum”.

If you are a popular teacher this of course may not be so bad but that said I think it’s worse for secondary age kids, when you are forming friendships and personal relationships and don’t want to do that under the potential gaze of your parent. Kids need to find themselves and develop away from their parents.

I also remember being told off by another teacher for something relatively minor and her saying “well I won’t mention it to your mum this time but if it happens again I will” in circumstances where it would never have been mentioned to a “normal” parent.

So in your shoes no I definitely wouldn’t have my child and my own school (tbf to my parents there was no other option as logistically it would have been a struggle to send me anywhere else).

Thank you so much to everyone for your replies and thoughts!

In terms of my school, I think probably, my worries are along the same lines as @BarqsHasBite mentions. My son doesn't seem bothered but he is only 9 at the moment, so the reality may be different to what he is imagining. I have taught kids whose parents worked in the same school before and in fairness, it wasn't an issue. It's tricky.

Can't remember who asked but he does have a good chance getting in at my school 🙂

Not sure about getting a job at the private school - vacancies are rare. Though I can absolutely see the logic!

I think we need a pros and cons list. There are benefits to both options.

I also remember doing a piece of work/project for a class where she was awarding prizes. I did a really good job on it but didn’t win anything because (she told
me) even though mine was the best it wool’s have looked like favouritism. (She wouldn’t have said it was the best if she didn’t think it).

It seems a petty/trivial I know but here I am still remembering it some 30 years later!