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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

RMS or Berkhamsted Girls

24 replies

Dee1111 · 24/09/2023 13:21

Hi there, wondering if anyone can give some first hand experience of both of these schools for my daughter who will be going into secondary school next year please?

Thanks

OP posts:
BreadandButters · 25/09/2023 14:29

Bumping this for you OP as I have exactly the same question. I'm especially keen to hear about what they are like pastorally. I would like my DD to feel inspired, happy and confident at school and for them to be all over any unkind or bullying behaviour!

Are you also considering Pipers Corner? I was but have read some terrible reviews on MN about them recently. It's hard to know if it's just a bad year or just a disgruntled few but it didn't sound good!

Dee1111 · 25/09/2023 18:13

Thanks for bumping! I too want the same thing. At the moment we are leaning towards RMS as we feel it's a better fit for our daughter. We did look at Pipers and whilst I didn't dislike it, it just didn't feel right for us. It is hard to give any reason as to why - it just didn't feel as diverse and down to earth as RMS. It is also much further from where we live and as I didn't feel it offered anything more, it wasn't worth the long journey.

OP posts:
BreadandButters · 26/09/2023 07:59

I really liked RMS too. And location-wise it is much easier. We are about the same distance from all threee schools but Piper’s isn’t near any train stations or bus routes that would be helpful for DD getting home (except for school coaches). Also the tiny little lane to get to the school looks like it would be very stressful at busy times!! Not that I would base my decision on that alone.

Just to warn you OP I had a call from Berkhamsted yesterday that registration deadline for y7 2024 is tomorrow if you haven’t already applied.

MillicentMargaretAmanda · 26/09/2023 08:07

Second hand data, but a friend's daughter is Y9 at RMS and seems to love it. She's not super academic, but into everything and seems to get a lot out of the school. Also flexi boards every so often and loves that as well.

Dee1111 · 26/09/2023 11:18

I love the ethos of RMS and the parents I have spoken to with children there are very happy with it. Same with the Berko parents as well. We really liked both schools but Berko I think is more suited to certain types of children whereas I felt RMS embraced individuality and variety a lot more. I think that the overall ethos of RMS is more suited to my daughter and in line with what we value in a school. Berko claims to have a lot on offer extra curricular wise after school, but it's very limited compared to RMS - it's only sport, music and drama. This further supports my feelings that RMS embraces and encourages a wider range of interests and talents at RMS as opposed to the more "typical", conventional interests. It's always a leap of faith and you never really know a school until you're in it!

OP posts:
BreadandButters · 16/01/2024 23:20

Bumping this thread again as we now have offers from these schools and would love to hear from current parents about their experiences!

BatteryPowerGnat · 16/01/2024 23:31

I know of 2 girls who haven't lasted a week at RMS. They were not joining year 7 though. They were completely ignored by the other girls and made to feel totally unwelcome.
There is no way I would send a child of mine there.

bookworm111 · 17/01/2024 08:06

We also have offers - I have spoken to around 5 current parents with children in different years at RMS all of whom are extremely happy with the school and girls are very happy and doing well. Have also spoken to parents of children at Berkhamsted who have been very positive about the school.

BreadandButters · 17/01/2024 13:35

BatteryPowerGnat · 16/01/2024 23:31

I know of 2 girls who haven't lasted a week at RMS. They were not joining year 7 though. They were completely ignored by the other girls and made to feel totally unwelcome.
There is no way I would send a child of mine there.

Oh gosh, that does sound very worrying. Do you happen to know what year group the girls were in? Was it the same one? Where did they go after they left?

BreadandButters · 17/01/2024 13:36

bookworm111 · 17/01/2024 08:06

We also have offers - I have spoken to around 5 current parents with children in different years at RMS all of whom are extremely happy with the school and girls are very happy and doing well. Have also spoken to parents of children at Berkhamsted who have been very positive about the school.

That's a bit more reassuring. I've not heard anything bad myself but it's good to hear a range of opinions.

We're not particularly wealthy and DD is currently at state school so I am keen to make sure she is able to fit in to a welcoming environment from that perspective too as I imagine it will be a bit of a shift.

bookworm111 · 17/01/2024 13:53

I found the school to be down to earth and without a monied feel - we have visited several times, but I obviously am only speaking from a visitor's perspective. The parents I've spoken to did not come across as overly wealthy but at any private school you will find a mixed bag. At the end of the day it's more about how the child is raised - there are many wealthy families at my daughter's current school but you wouldn't know they are well off without knowing them well/seeing where they live and they are far from snobby. The student body was far more diverse than Berkhamsted (based on our visits). It's a large school - you are going to find different experiences, it's how the school handles challenges that come up. Have you managed to speak with any parents with girls at either school? It's such a hard decision - I am feeling your pain!

BreadandButters · 17/01/2024 13:56

Thank you. I really liked RMS when we visited.

I'm not worried about anyone being wealthy (or not) but obviously would hate for DD to be picked on or be the odd one out for any reason, including that one.

Completely agree that it's about how the school handles challenges as I'm sure they will come up. I've been a teenaged girl so I know it's far from plain sailing even in the best school!

We're going to one of the offer holders lunches and I'm hoping to see more then. I also have a friend who is a teacher there and who said she thinks it's genuinely a really nurturing school that will also push girls to reach their potential.

At the moment, RMS is the one we are leaning towards but no decisions made yet!

BreadandButters · 17/01/2024 13:58

RE Berkhamsted I know a couple of parents there who are very happy with the school and another friend's DD will be starting in Y7 in September - they actually live on our street so they could go in together if we did go for Berko.

BreadandButters · 17/01/2024 13:59

I don't know anyone who goes to RMS unfortunately.

bookworm111 · 17/01/2024 14:00

I also really like the head - he couldn't be further from a pompous, private school head which I would hope would filter down through the school culture.

BreadandButters · 17/01/2024 14:03

Yes absolutely agree!

It is all a bit of a gamble though isn't it!? You almost want to do a months trial in a few different schools if only that were practical!!

BatteryPowerGnat · 18/01/2024 00:59

@BreadandButters
Years 9 and 10.
One to Northwood College and one to St Helen's.

BreadandButters · 18/01/2024 09:06

Thank you!

thing47 · 18/01/2024 16:33

My 2 best friends have or recently had DDs at RMS (4 girls in total). Both sets of parents and all the girls are/have been very happy with the school, lots of extra-curricular and some lovely friends. Ones who have left now at universities such as Bristol, Manchester and Warwick. One doing a STEM degree not generally thought of as a particularly female option.

I would politely suggest that if you join a school - any school - at a less usual entry point, it's not altogether surprising if it takes more than a few days to find your 'people'.

BreadandButters · 19/01/2024 09:26

That's very reassuring to hear, thank you @thing47!

scdm · 05/02/2024 14:33

Us too choosing between the two. We are leaning towards RMS because it seems less pushy academically. Really like the head there and i know lots of people that have girls there in various years and really rate it. However I know lots of people who have got girls at Berko in Y7 and 9 and they all love it there. The pushy academics put me off Berko a bit and i know someone whose daughter was getting 8's in Y9 and was told she needed to improve.

BreadandButters · 05/02/2024 22:55

We are also leaning towards RMS @scdm for similar reasons. We liked the feel of RMS and could imagine DD thriving there.

still haven’t made a final decision though…

Pinkiesnails · 10/02/2024 01:49

@BatteryPowerGnat That’s ridiculous that doesn’t happen! We have girls coming and going all the time and the girls are very welcoming, even to the most challenging of girls who find it hard to
settle at first. How can anyone come and go in a week! Hardly time to settle is it.

Pinkiesnails · 10/02/2024 01:57

@BreadandButters we’re not a school
where the girls ever worry about who’s parents earn what. It’s never mentioned and most girls wouldn’t have a clue what each others parents do for a living. We have girls from all walks
of life and I’ve never in all my years of daughters being at Private schools ever heard it mentioned or anyone bullied for it. We’re all like minded people wanting the best for our children.

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