Feeling Disheartened With Private School Visits: Very Unpersonalised & Felt Like Cattle Markets

[roses2]

We're in London and have spent the past few weekends visiting private schools. We are huge state school supporters but willing to pay for the right private school.

We've visited four private so far, all well known in London.

1. School 1 - Great tour - we'll apply for this one
2. School 2 - "self guided"; didn't reply to my email query I sent regarding common entrance exam; bell rang at end to signify "please leave"
3. School 3 - "self guided" again
4. School 4 - had a student guide but they seemed unmotivated; couldn't help with half the questions

2; 3 and 4 all felt a bit like cattle markets. And all charge ~£25k/year. This is our first venture into looking at private but I expected something a bit more personalised especially if this is the sales part where they should be selling the school to me. I'm thinking of scrapping half of them from the list.

Is this what visits to popular private schools are like? Where you are just a number? Does it get better once you are in??

The key to 11 plus entry is that the school is choosing it's pupils via the entrance exams not the other way. Once you get an offer there is another chance to visit when the sales pitch comes into full force (plus during the on-site exam and interviews you get some insight).
Go for schools you like and a range where you think your dc get an offer.

Your DC only need one school and hopefully it's number 1.

I wouldn't bother applying to the other schools.

DDs private school is/was the total opposite. Very warm and personalised. If you felt like it was a cattle market at open day when they are meant to be "putting on a show" then I would personally avoid.
What we liked in particular was that every parent and child was invited (if you wanted + you had to pre-book) to a private 20 min talk with the Headmaster in his study. He took time to get to know DD, her likes, dislikes etc.
Ask if they do individual tours?

Some of the schools are oversubscribed and it is sellers market, they don't need to put on a hard sale. I do think it is your DCs personal experience not the marketing experience that matters....

Which school is this please?

It is about the entire process and not just Open Day. We had great process and a new person in charge of admissions and it went downhill rapidly. Others, good Open day, great Admission communications etc. It is more than 1 Open Day. We know of great school, great process and rumours of low level bullying in different year groups….under the term it is being dealt and help build resilience.
Also, check GCSEs for options. Some schools limit to 9, get higher grades but not broad enough. Good luck!

All depends on the quality of the cattle and the cattle herders!

I would recommend Hampton Boys if you are in the area. Loovely school and great results

As a PP said, it's a sellers' market. The most sought after indies in London are heavily oversubscribed and vast majority of parents visiting a popular school will not have an offer from the school in February.

So if I am thinking cynically, I would probably say at this stage of the process, the popular schools do not need to care a lot about providing highly personalised services to a "customer". The schools choose DC, not the other way round.

But from my own experience, that version isn't really true most of the time -- most schools, even the most sought after ones, really do try, but huge oversubscription and parents registering to many more schools now days, make it impossibly hard for schools with limited resources to provided a personalised service to all parents visiting in open days. In many schools there are 10 or more visitors for every place in year 7.

You will get much more attention once you have offer(s) in hand and in offer holders' events. Ditto when your DC is a student.

Regarding school 4 (unmotivated student) - please do not judge the school by that alone. That child may have been having a bad day, may have already showed the school to other parents few times this year already, or just bored. They do it several times a year. Except for year 7s, and sometime the older children with a sense of responsibility towards the school, most are pretty bored by year 8. (I know because DD and her friends in year 8 moan about it during open days!)

Yes agree@justanotherdaduser , 6000 visitors were expected at Hampton this morning.

What do you mean by you are "huge state school supporters"?
Surely if you are, you would just send you DC to a state school.

I’m also bemused by the “state school supporters” comment and wondering the point of that?

Yes, all private are money makers but Hampton Boys school is pretty good value for money

Not all schools are like that. We definitely felt the same with some we visited -like we were just a number, but others gave a better feel and we went with a ‘mid size’ type school and glad we did.
@HawaiiWake very few schools do 10 nowadays. Unis will only look at top 8 and personally, I’d rather DD only did 8! Her school does 9, as did all the schools we saw three years ago. According to government statistics only 13% of schools do more than 9

Though, if applying to US universities, they prefer a wider curriculum and prefer 10 or more GCSEs which seems to be the case for most boys or coed schools we visited.

@HawaiiWake the top US unis will not even look at GCSEs. They want the SATs and the lesser unis consider 5 GCSEs as equivalent to a US high school education. We attended an American uni day very recently.

Also, not all US universities need SAT/ACT, worth looking into as well. Examples, Berkeley and UCLA.

Not sure what is the benefit of sending a child/ young man to US to do undergaduate degree. I see the point in postgrad degree but not undergraduate. And tbh unless it is some top US uni like Harvard or Stanford, nobody views it as an exceptional achievement. I am speaking from the experience.

If you're such huge supporters of state schools why are you looking at private?!

i wouldn’t touch a school that made me feel like that on day one.

I suspect it means "we are huge state school supporters - just as long as our own child doesn't have to attend".

I thought it meant we’re not freaked out by doing state school instead.

All private schools in London are pretty much over subscribed, and its a sellers market.

That said you need to avoid the "open day" razamatazz and go to one of the tours that happen during the week when the school is working as it gives you a much better idea of what is going on.

Lastly think carefully about your child, my children are able and capable, one has majority 9's at GCSE and is heading for 3 A stars at a level but still couldn't get into any of the "top" private schools in the area at 11+.

Have you bothered to visit any of your local state schools to make a comparison?

I’ve never felt like that.

school 1, warm communication, odd tour, odd meeting with head. They then were very keen to offer place.

school 2, failed to communicate, got my name wrong, dc name wrong total chaos. Tried to call school, phone never picked up, emailed for tour, never heard back

school 3, chaotic communication, warm meeting with head, friendly tour, open day was welcoming, tour with pupils warm and engaging,

school 4 didn’t seem interested, sent out information pack. School didn’t follow it up. 2 years later they followed it up!!

we went for school 3.