Private secondary schools for kids who don’t much like school

[Secondarysuggestions]

Ds has never really liked primary. It’s ok, but he’s never loved it. Some years he’s found it fine, some years he’s hated it.

Lately he’s been going in crying and coming out upset. It’s like all the air has been taken out of him. He’s less brave in his day-to-day life too.

Doesn’t seem to be any bullying. Still doing well academically (always in the top-ish of his class). Just says he doesn’t like it much and doesn’t have many friends but also isn’t putting himself out there at all.

So I’m looking for a private secondary for kids who don’t like school much! Somewhere very caring where kids have some autonomy. Also fun.

We live in London. All I know of is King Alfred’s!

Any suggestions would be fantastic!

https://brockwood.org.uk/

@Secondarysuggestions if you can get your DS into King Alfred then I would say go for it, particularly if he got a place in Year 6.

That school looks lovely but boarding is out of the question!

We haven’t even gone on the waiting list yet, so I’ve no idea if he’d get a place. But it’s not a terrible commute!

Northbridge Canonbury is a small private in North London with a reputation for caring for those kids that don't get on in other schools. My kids don't go there so this is not direct experience

@Secondarysuggestions If your son can get a waiting list place at KAS in Year 5 or 6 I'd opt for that because it's harder to get a place in Year 7 as there are so few available.

I agree. Get him in now if you can.

I see there’s an open day at KA soon so going to book on that!

j think I’ve got to the bottom of why he doesn’t like schools. He’s struggling to make friends and he’s not enjoying the lack of autonomy. Worried for him that the friend thing might be hard anywhere! But obviously the autonomy thing might not be in the more progressive schools.

Hi there. Not in London so can't help there but my DS sounds very much like yours. Did really well at Primary School academically but really struggled on the friendship front. Had more days off school than I was happy with but sometimes impossible to get him in. We've gone private for secondary and two weeks in he seems to be thriving. Has joined a number of clubs and last week he went to a friend's house after school. I actually can't remember the last time he was invited to someone's house after school - pre covid when he was in infants I think.

Just wanted to reassure you that things get better.

That is really good to hear! Can I ask what sort of private? Was it a 11+ type academic? Or more of a King Alfred’s type?

I’m so unsure as to where my son will fit best. He’s bright and able, but not keen on tutoring and doesn’t like doing homework (so we don’t as I’ve read lots of studies on it and feel ok with him not if he doesn’t want to at this age), so not sure an academic school will be best. But he’s always near the top of his class - or at the top of his class for maths anyway - so maybe?! Ahh it’s a minefield!

@Secondarysuggestions in my experience the more academic schools actually do far less homework than non selectives. Have you looked into latymer? Lots of kids like him there. Might be too far for you though. Selectives tend to be quite lax with rules etc kids have a lot more autonomy as they're just expected to behave.

Btw, Latymer the state grammar in n9, not the private.

@Secondarysuggestions KAS suits all sort of DC, whether they are highly academic or not.

Mount House

My daughter used to hate school but has really transformed in this past year (she's now Year 9)

OP I swear we have identical sons!

He was required to take an entrance test and we did some tutoring as DS wouldn't have practised on his own. We took a short condensed approach so only started a few months before but had sessions twice a week 1 to 1. DS was resistant in the beginning but the tutor was excellent and very patient. He told me after the exam that he hadn't needed the tutor as the tests were much easier than the ones the tutor set but in my view it was easier because he was familiar with the tests and how to approach them.

In terms of homework we have been told to expect up to 3 hrs a week though it's been a gentle introduction so far. DS.primary did not set homework so any homework is more than he's used to. DS has complained a bit but everyone around him is doing it so it's peer pressure in a positive way.

Whilst academically selective our main reason for choosing the school was the pastoral care and that's definitely been the focus so far.

This is super interesting, thank you!! Haha yes they do sound very alike!

DS came out of school flat again today. I’m feeling even more motivated to get this sorted for secondary if not sooner!

Can I ask what you decided to do in the end OP?

I think you need to start your own thread in order to generate replies.

This!

My son refused school in year 4. Hated school with a passion and never fitted in with friendship groups. School denied there was an issue and said it was my problem! Looking back he was masking and hiding his abilities.

Now in year 7 at a pushy selective school (state) he is thriving academically and sporting wise. Until he went there he didn't know that people like him existed. He thought he was the odd one.

He was assessed by PPUK, 3 years ago. Expensive but money well spent as finally I understood that he was a maths genius and boredom at school was the problem.

Harrrodian, Hampton Court, Thomas, college Richmond, St Dunstans are all options I would look at .