How long to keep trying with new school placement

[Blahtastic]

DD has just started year 7 but it's not going well. She has severe anxiety and managed the first 3 days but then an incident in school caused her to have a panic attack and she has struggled to attend since. Went in today but was pushed to go into a lesson when she wasn't ready and was upset, causing her to meltdown and I had to go and collect her. Pastoral team say that they will support her but when I'm not there they are apparently stern and unapproachable. We do have a rocky history with the school as her brother went there but struggled to attend due to undiagnosed learning difficulties and SEN that were largely ignored. We're not even 2 weeks into term but DD very upset and school now saying maybe I should look for another school to meet her needs. All mainstream schools near us are large schools so I don't know where they expect her to go. No apparent SEN just the anxiety, she is under CAMHS. Has anyone else experienced this? I had thought we could keep trying for at least another month or two to give her time to settle but the email from school today makes me think they will keep trying to push her out, as they did with my son until I got his EHCP in place.

The school needs to meet her needs. If she is generally anxious then another school that is similar to the one she is at won't make any difference, will it?

Did she have difficulties in primary school?

Large schools can have excellent pastoral care...

I think parents can assume small is better and it often isn't (for kinds of reasons including funding for pastoral care...)

Maybe visit other schools and ask how they support anxious children?

She was fine through primary until the extreme anxiety was triggered by an illness about 6 months ago. She missed all the summer term of primary but during the last 2 months or so has improved dramatically from where she was. I thought/hoped it would continue to improve and with support from CAMHS she would be able to get back on track. I don't want to move her but feel that we'll end up being forced out as the school are not sympathetic to her needs at this moment in time and don't seem to be willing to give her time and support to settle. They seem to be suggesting a smaller school would be less stressful for her, but there isn't a small mainstream school close by, otherwise I would have applied there in the first place.

Went in today but was pushed to go into a lesson when she wasn't ready
I don't really understand this, pupils aren't allowed to meander round the school rather than go into their allotted lesson, are they? What would you have had the school do differently?

There seems to be a lot of missing information. What happened when she started being unable to attend lessons in primary? How was it handled? Did it work?
Why did she miss the whole of the summer term?

Sorry - she missed primary school due to anxiety which included severe nausea, multiple panic attacks evey day, leading also to intrusive thoughts, restricted diet and lack of sleep. It really snowballed for a couple of months. She's then gradually gotten better in many ways but the anxiety, sensory issues and nausea remains along with panic attacks.

She had gone into school for a session with the school support teacher on the understanding that she could come home afterwards, they were going to do a gradual exposure back to lessons. The attendance manager then intervened and tried to force her into lesson when she said she wasn't ready and this was not what had been agreed beforehand.

Also primary school were supportive, she did go in for half days when she felt able and also did work at home.

When you say her anxiety was triggered by illness, what kind of illness? Did it involve vomiting? I'm just wondering if your DD has developed emetophobia. If so it's absolutely vital that you get very specific treatment.

Either way, that very poor of the pastoral care team. If gradual introduction to lessons is what was agreed, then that is absolutely what they should have done - the attendance manager will have made it worse not better. A hard line approach is usually completely pointless with anxiety, it's like telling someone who is struggling with maths to just be better at maths.

Agree with the PP who said a large school wouldn't necessarily be worse. It depends completely on the culture of the school and the skill and experience of the pastoral team. Stern and unapproachable is definitely not what you are looking for.

I think that you need to meet with the attendance officer. Sometimes the pastoral support team will promise things that they don't always have the authority to impose. Did you try a very gradual approach in primary? What was her attendance like in Year 4 and Year 5? How has she got better? If she still has panic attacks, nausea and severe anxiety, she does not seem to be better or well enough for school. What is the advice from CAMHS?

I don't usually post on these threads. There are lots of people on mumsnet who have children out of school or on special packages of EOTAS. They will be along to advise shortly. However, in most cases I have seen like yours, the child often has a very part time timetable and misses vast chunks of education. The gradual return plan often fails and the child ends up either home educated or on LEA tuition. This sounds pessimistic and I hope you are more successful but it seems to me that very low attendance related to anxiety is rarely resolved by the approach of gradual exposure.

I agree with this. What does it mean?

very low attendance related to anxiety is rarely resolved by the approach of gradual exposure.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.

Have you spoken to the SENCO? Was the LA providing alternative provision in the summer term as they should have been? Has an EHCNA been requested?

I assume that the DD was in the school building, but within the pastoral care unit rather than her timetabled classroom.

She does have a fear of sickness, this was the basis of her CAMHS referral. She's had initial assessments but no therapy yet we're still waiting, it keeps being pushed back. I was hoping that when the therapy starts she will improve even more which would in turn help her attendance. Unfortunately it seems the attitude of school as of today is that they don't want to support her in the interim.

LA didn't provide alternative provision last year, I asked but they said it's only for children in hospital - I know this is wrong but frankly didn't have the energy to fight them. I'm a single parent with very minimal support from family and none from ex, work full time, was dealing with new school placement for son in AP with new EHCP and had DD going through all this anxiety etc. It's been a stressful six months!

We've used online schooling for DS at one point while waiting for EHCP but wanted to keep trying with attendance for DD if she is able. I can't afford not to work to fully EHE. I haven't thought of applying for EHCNA for DD as I thought the issues may be fairly short term. She is academic and wanted to be in school with her friends. Save for the last bit of primary she had no issues with attendance other than the usual school age illnesses.

I'm going to message you OP.

The LA should have been providing alternative provision as soon as it became clear DD would miss 15 days. They have a duty under s19 Education Act 1996 to ensure DC unable to attend school full-time receive a suitable, full-time education. It isn’t just for DC in hospital. If it looks like this is going to continue you should push the LA to provide provision. You can request an EHCNA yourself now. IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

If its emetophobia check out the thrive programme

How is your daughter doing now?

It means they were hanging out in pastoral with their staff instead of in lessons, or truanting round school