My daughter has just gone into year 11 and started dating a boy in the same year this Summer. It's her first relationship - she never had any interest in boys before this - it was all about sport, school and she has weekend job in a coffee shop. Inevitably, all have taken a back seat as a result - she is very honest in saying he occupies her thoughts and she can't focus on anything else.
As a couple of examples, she was dropped from her volleyball team this week as she missed 2 weeks' training sessions, and did poorly in a Chemistry test yesterday as she'd not revised. She'd normally be crestfallen about these things, as she's a real grafter and enjoys the success and rewards she gets from giving 100%, but she says herself, she's on cloud 10 because of Sam; nothing else matters right now, and I have to say, I've never seen her so constantly happy - there is a permanent dreamy smile on her face, past 2 months. The joy I've seen her experience from school & sports successes over the past 5 years have been fleeting, and then she is straight back to revising and training.
I'm really happy for her - who wouldn't want to see their children loving life every day. But she has worked very had the past 6/7 years and been really dedicated, because she has high hopes for herself, but 2 weeks into her GCSE exam year and she's switched off.
I'm quite a relaxed parent - she is so driven, I've never needed to push her - my input has been only to drive her to training, buy the books she asked for, and give her kind words before an exam/trial/game.
So I'm not sure if/how I should deal with this. I don't know if she risks losing all that she's worked for - her boss gave her a warning for being late for the first time in the year she's worked there, and she turned down 2 shifts last weekend to catch up on the first weeks' school work, but admits she did very little because she couldn't concentrate. She said they are not constantly messaging each other - Sam will have sport and schoolwork to do, but she can think of nothing else but him.
Shall I wait and see how it pans out? Her mock exams are less than 3 months away and while it would be great to think that she has indeed met the love of her life, to let all the things she worked so hard for, fall by the wayside is tough to see.
Ideally, I want to help her prioritise, and have time for schoolwork, sports, job and Sam, but when we've talked this week she says she can't focus on anything else these days and while I say SHE is in charge of her own mind & thoughts, she says as hard as she tries, she isn't any more.