Moving from private to state in Year 9

[winterrabbit]

DS2, 13, is just about to move into Year 9 at a private school in North London. He has been asking for some time to move to our local state secondary where a lot of his friends go. I've been reluctant to move him as the local state does not have great results (more along the lines of ok) and has all the issues that go with a large mixed London comprehensive, however, I am increasingly minded to just let him join his primary school friends at the local state. He's not unhappy at this current school but he says he doesn't like the vibe or the teachers at the private school, prefers his local friends, doesn't like the long school day etc. I do hear him as the school he is at was very much a back-up school for us and doesn't have great facilities although does get good results and is small and nurturing. DS is bright and hardworking and I think will probably do well anywhere. Having said that, he did not do as well as we expected at 11+ (hence the back-up school) and missed out on the grammars and super-selectives so I do wonder if it's worth paying for slightly smaller classes, more support etc so that he gets the best results possible. Curious as to what others would do.

Thanks all. Still completely undecided about what to do but, in my view, it's not a good idea to go to the school we were originally moving to as its results are a lot worse than the school he is currently at and the private he moved from. He would be moving there really for his friends and I am now not sure that's a good enough reason. At the moment I think the best option is to either stay put or go back to the private. DS says he really doesn't want to go back to the private as he feels like he'll lose face as he already left but he says the lessons and teaching were much better than his current school. I didn't think the results were so far apart that the teaching/standard of learning would be so different between the state and his current school but seems I was wrong. I want DS to be happy but at this stage I think education/how much he is learning comes first. Feels like the 3 schools all offer something different and we're choosing between friends, standard of teaching and sports. Ideally one school would have all three.

Hi OP . I would go back to the private school and tell your son to give the kids there a chance . He is at school to learn and at this age needs to realise this is his future … I also have a yr9 who has recently moved

You will be moving him to a school where he will be one of many. There will be very poorly behaved students. You are doing this because he would rather be with old mates and for a better 'vibe'. Why did you go for private in the first place? What has changed? It seems like you are changing for an odd set of reasons.

Just seen your updates. I think you need to take control and stop allowing your son to have so much say in this. You moved him on his say so and it didn't work. There was never going to be the same level of communication and the same sort of behaviour in a mixed comp as there will be in a small private school. This is obvious.

I would send him back to his previous private school. He will get over the embarrassment quickly enough and he might even appreciate the teaching and the calmer environment more than he used to.

This would be good.

Have you considered looking for an occasional space at one of the other private schools that you liked for the 11+?

OP - what you have done makes zero sense. He wanted to move to a particular state school because his friends were there. You then move him to a completely different state school. What was the point in that? Friendships are extremely important at that age (I have a daughter in Year 9) and a happy child will also do well at school. Doesn’t matter how great the school’s results are on paper, if your son is unhappy he won’t do well.

I moved my daughter from one school to another (although both private) for similar reasons as your son. Even though her current school is worse results-wise on paper than her previous school, she’s much happier and doing very well.

Just move your son to the actual school he wanted to go to all along and leave him there. Being with friends is very important for teens and ultimately a happy child will do well.

XelaM, it made sense to DS and I at the time. The results at the school he moved to are very good, it has an outstanding Ofsted, facilities and sports are amazing and he knew quite a few kids there. It's a highly sought after school and places are typically very coveted. My main reason for not immediately moving DS to the local school in year 7 and after he asked to go in year 9 is the results and quite a lot of mixed reviews from parents. It's generally perceived as ok but not great. Quite a few kids tend to leave, in fact, 2 of DS's friends have left to to go other schools are the parents were not happy with the teaching/how they were progressing. It's ok but it generally lets kids coast along and does not push for the best results. I don't think I was wrong to consider this when deciding whether to move DS it's not just about being with friends and he was not unhappy at his old school nor is he unhappy at this new school. He was happy to go to his current school otherwise I wouldn't have moved him. It seems like a good compromise as it ticked most the boxes. What we don't like about it now is not the friends, or lack of them, but the level of disruption in most of the classes and the fact that DS feels he is not learning as much as he did at his private school. I thought the differences between an outstanding state school with v good results and an ok private school would be minimal but it seems I was wrong.

I think you are fixating too much on results and Ofsted reports, which in many ways don't really mean that much. I agree with a pp, your choice to send him to this different school seems a little odd. However it's done now. Why hasn't his current school got data from his old school? How have any tests gone in his new school? Do they reconsider sets after Xmas?

Could you use the money you’re saving on school fees to pay for extra tuition? I agree with @Hairyfairy01 that you’re focusing a bit too much on how the school looks on paper based on past results and Ofsted, which are not always a good indicator of how good the school will be for your particular child.

Does potential school 3 have space for him in top sets though? Different school, different culture, I wouldn't be too quick to assume it will have the same problems as his current school or that he will do worse there because of their data.

My son's experience moving from a more academic state school to one with a much lower % Ebacc has been broadly very positive. He's gone from mixed ability teaching to top sets of top stream, and he is being pushed more if anything. He was setted a bit low in one subject in Y9 (due to space) but they shake them all up for Y10. You really don't need there to be 4 or 5 sets who are pitching for 7-9s. There just needs to be one set, that he can be put in. The average attainment of a school is only really relevant if he is in an average or mixed ability class.

Hi Djimm, good point. I checked with the potential school and they do not have space in the top sets in Maths although there may be a chance to move up as assessments before Christmas although might be tricky for him to prove himself as he'll have just moved, change in curriculum etc. Apparently there is no space in any of the tops sets for Science until next Sept/year 10 and so he would be in set 5 (bottom) until then which is a dealbreaker for us. The other lessons are not set, only maths and science. DS and I agree that this rules out this school as an option so we've been deciding between staying at his current school and moving back to the old one and pretty much decided to go back to the old one due to the academics. DS is pretty neutral about staying/going back but I feel that the private will put him in the best position academically. If he had loved his current school and wanted to stay then I think we would've compromised the academics slightly but that doesn't seem to be the case (he's not unhappy either).

All depends on the DC and I sympathise with your personal experience. However, you can't say "I don't think there is any compar(ison) academically between private and state". It is just not true. Extra curriculars may be broader when you are paying for them and facilities too. That's a different matter though. Academics can be far better in a state grammar than in a private school.