Moving child beginning year 10?

[3kidsandus]

Afternoon all

Has anyone moved a child to a new school in year 10. My bright 14 year old is a complete social butterfly and unfortunately has been declining over the past year or so. Her reports are not great. Parents evenings also - ‘she’s distracted’ ‘she talks through lessons’ ‘incomplete homework’.

Her behaviour points have also ramped up and she’s completely nonchalant about it. She has the potential to do much better which is the sad thing. But we both work full time. She’s at home on her own for 2.5-3 hours every day after school which she is supposed to spend doing homework - but from feedback from teachers and reports she just rushes through this, to finish early and I imagine loaf around.

I have spent a small fortune on workbooks etc but she is so unmotivated and unless I sit and do them with her or mark them etc she gets very little from them.

She sat an exam for a good private school last week and has been accepted. Currently at a comprehensive.

She’s now absolutely incredibly upset as she will miss her friends terribly.

I’m obviously worried as I wonder if this will completely mess her up, or if after a few months she’ll settle in. How disruptive is a move in year 10? I’m so discombobulated and just so worried that will get this so wrong 😑

Do I keep her in the school and invest in tutors (she’ll need one for at least 5 subjects!!). And just hope miraculously she pulls herself together (I’m not hopeful about this).

Thank you.

Why do you think she'll do better in the private school?
Won't her lack of wok ethic just move with her? Or do they run homework clubs etc?

I'd be nervous. Some schools start some GCSE syllabuses in y9. She'd need to settle in, make new friends, get to know teachers etc.

Would it be cheaper for you to drop your hours so you are home earlier?

@TeenDivided you are absolutely right! I honestly do not have a clue if she will! She is so bright and I wondered if she is in an academically selective school surrounded by kids with a good work ethic less people to distract her? Her to distract?

I was really after the supervised prep which runs from 3.30-5pm. But again, no guarantee she will engage even with that!

This school starts all GCSEs in year 10.

ugh.... I just do not know!

Does your current school not run a homework club or similar?

You may find that she knuckles down a bit more once GCSEs start.

Is there any leverage you can use to reward her working harder?
Definitely you can insist on testing her yourself before tests to check she has learned things. Does she know how to revise?

Plus you can look at grades needed for post y11 - perhaps that will help motivate?

Has something like adhd been ruled out? Not sure I see the point of behaviour marks as when a child racks up a few they are just perceived as being bad the whole time. If she can't concentrate have you considered loop ear buds to block out extra sound? It's a difficult age to move school, but sounds like something needs to change.

I suppose the only issue is whether the school will put up with someone who messes around and causes problems. Private schools don't have to tolerate behaviour problems like state schools.

My DD is going into year 10 and attends a private school. Her school have quite a lot of new students joining in year 10 - so if your DD does move I would be surprised if she was the only newbie.
How did she feel sitting the entrance exam? She must have known moving was a possibility and was motivated enough to go for the exam?

I teach in a small indie where every year we get a steady stream of new pupils throughout Y9, and a few at the start of Y10. The parents realise it's last chance saloon time. Whether it works or not really depends on whether the DC realise that too.

We can facilitate, encourage and incentivise, but we can't force a child to care or to work. OP, you sound like you understand that and will support the school and be involved with your DD's education. Moves don't work when the parents think they have solved the problem by throwing money at it and leave everything to the school.