I have DC at Varndean. They are both very happy. I don’t agree with the neighbour’s assessment at all of the schools - I think it’s a myth that DS is still more academic; Varndean have been getting better results of late (not heard about this year’s GCSE’s in detail though) and have a happy staff cohort. I’m not sure that’s the case at DS.
I think DS is sportier - great football provision. Although there’s a big push for girls football at Varndean I think. Varndean has brilliant pastoral care, so perhaps more of a diverse range of kids. I’d say DS thinks of itself as cooler! The kids at Varndean seem to be more of who they want to be, rather than trying to be cool. A bit nerdier, if anything - a word I hate, but might be a clear shorthand.
My DC are really happy at Varndean. Still not far enough in to say much about academic achievements but they are doing well. I am very pleased with the energy and enthusiasm and support they’ve received. The head is great, too.
From your perspective, I would be realistic about what a state school will offer compared to private. They are so stretched financially, and you will see this in class size and other offerings. I went to a very significant private school as a teen, and I know the difference. That said, my DC are meeting a variety of kids, in the community, and for me that was so important as I never had that. But I am aware that they will not have the more bespoke academic offering that might get them better results - it will be about them and their motivation.
Hope that helps.