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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

AIBU to be angry

12 replies

Richard2022 · 24/08/2023 23:17

Picked up sons results today and other half, who was sitting in the back of the car when she checked his results, totalled up his score to see if he made it into 6th form and it was enough. He needed 39 but got 42.

Went to enrol at 6th and the lady said he didn’t have enough. My partner didn’t read it was the top 8 results and it was actually 37. So he couldn’t enrol there.

Suddenly going from passing and getting in, we had a son who hadn’t.

And I’m so pissed off with my other half for getting it wrong I can’t let it go. Hardly spoke all day.

It was his big day and it’s been made worse by her mistake.

Would you feel the same?

OP posts:

Popfan · 24/08/2023 23:28

You are being very unreasonable. I get you are sad for your son but taking it out on your partner, who presumably feels bad herself for making a mistake and also upset for your son is awful. So instead of supporting your son, you've basically made it all about you and how you feel. You owe both your partner and your son a big apology.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 24/08/2023 23:30

Why didn't you read the entry requirements.

And YABU for giving the silent treatment.

GrazingSheep · 24/08/2023 23:33

Was your son not able to figure it out himself?

HowardKirksConscience · 24/08/2023 23:35

Popfan · 24/08/2023 23:28

Yes, all about the OP isn’t it. He needs to back off and look at his own behaviour, not his partner’s. The son didn’t go from passing to not passing. The boy had never passed. Wasn’t his big day either.

Also, can’t the OP’s child add up his own scores?

Crazycrazylady · 26/08/2023 11:39

You're clearly projecting all your disappointment at your sons results on to your poor partner. I understand you're disappointed but you are being totally unreasonable

redskytonights · 26/08/2023 12:27

Your child got the GCSE results he got. Unfortunately they weren't good enough for the sixth form. I'm sure he'll get in somewhere else.

A momentary confusion about whether he'd got in or not is neither here nor there. It was always worth going in to talk to the sixth form anyway - some will let students in with lower than the results they've specified.

Real shame you are couching this in terms of your son passing or not passing. Getting into one sixth form is not such a big deal in the scheme of things.

Did he work hard? Was he pleased with his results? Maybe focus on those things.

BooksAndHooks · 26/08/2023 12:33

Yea you are being unreasonable. It was a genuine error. If your son is old enough and expecting to get into sixth form then it should have been him who was well versed in what the entry requirements are, rather than looking them up on the day. It is not your partner’s fault, she made a mistake, you are treating her like a controlling bully.

elkiedee · 26/08/2023 12:43

Yes, you're disappointed and sad for your son. Probably, he is too. Probably, your partner is too.

I think you should be focusing on talking to your son and helping him to find out other options, checking carefully through the details of possibilities, including possibilities for negotiation. Is the school he hoped to stay at/go to for 6th form a selective one? - are there other school sixth forms and colleges in your area? Does 37 across his 8 best grades include at least 5 grade 5s? Do they include English and Maths? What subjects does he want to study It might not be enough to do some A level combinations at more selective schools, but after a week studying offers I think in most areas there should still be a variety of options. Also two points below might not be negotiable at some selective schools and colleages but it sounds close enough to be worth asking others.

UsingChangeofName · 26/08/2023 13:14

Yes, YABU.
As everyone else has said.

this time should have been about supporting your son, helping him with his disappointment, and supporting him to find what he is going to do next, not about childish behaviour between you and your partner.

I hope your son is okay, and has found somewhere now.

MidnightOnceMore · 26/08/2023 13:16

Surely the priority is helping your son??!

sillyuniforms · 26/08/2023 22:07

Surely your son should have known this. It's their exams & choices

madnessitellyou · 28/08/2023 12:51

It's not all about you. In fact, it isn't even a tiny bit about you.

I have a friend who has managed to make her dc's results all about her. It's unbelievable.

Help your son find a place, apologise to your partner and maybe take a little interest yourself next time. Did your ds know what he needed? Really fail to see how this can possibly be your partner's fault.

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