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Secondary education

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Original poster

Currently on a secondary school waiting list - moving child a few weeks into the start of term?

156 replies

Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 08:09

Hi all, with 2 weeks to go in slightly freaking out about the start of secondary school. We are currently on the waiting list for our top choice. At one point we were 3rd at the start of July but have now slipped to 10th. So the chances of being offered before term starts is now extremely low. I was hopeful we would be offered in the summer holidays and everything would work out. So we are now potentially facing a dilemma if we are offered once term has started. Has anyone moved their DC a few weeks into term? I am gutted he will miss out on the “getting to know you” stuff. Of course he might not be offered at all and this is also semi wishful thinking. But I have to be prepared.

The school he is currently going to is further away but he will know quite a lot of people from primary. Our first choice school he will know practically no one. Im worried about him making friends when groups have already been formed. But know this is probably short term pain. Any advice welcome. TIA

OP posts:
StillWantingADog · 21/08/2023 08:13

Is there a big issue with the school he is going to? If not i’d try to make the best of it.

I get it may not have been your first choice but I think it would be difficult to pull him out a few weeks out unless he specially wants to swap. At that age it’s not quite as simple as what the parent wants. But of course is perfectly reasonable to stay on the waiting list and see what, if anything, happens

Summerslimtime · 21/08/2023 08:15

Hi, I'm sure he will be absolutely fine at his new school. For his sake I would throw everything at it and stop mentioning the first choice school. At my school at 10th place for Year 7 you wouldn't be offered a place at all. Most schools are considerably over PAN anyway, so a lot of pupils would have to leave before there was even a place available. I think you are entitled to one appeal per academic year.

Of course this may not be the case in your area.

12345change · 21/08/2023 08:19

It really depends on your child and how much you dislike the school you have been allocated? I know someone who pulled their child out in year 8 to go their first choice school - they had also moved closer to that the school. It was very difficult and fairly stressful and I'm not sure I would do it - but it worked out for them.

TeenDivided · 21/08/2023 08:21

Friendships shift around a lot in y7.
Personally I'd cross that bridge if and when you get to it.

TeenDivided · 21/08/2023 08:23

I think you also need to make sure you go full in for current school otherwise it might be hard for your DC to settle if they are thinking 'I won't be here long'.

Original poster
Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 08:51

Last year they offered 21 places in September. So there are no guarantees but a real possibility. The current school is good. He’ll know people. There are just a few downsides which I won’t go into. Really our heart is with the first choice school. It’s much closer as well. DC is fully aware. He said he would swap if a place comes up this year. But in reality that will probably change once he actually starts.
It will be interesting to see what happens with places come the start of September. There are usually some people that don’t turn up but you never know.

OP posts:
12345change · 21/08/2023 09:01

@Turquoiseturtle3 I would definitely wait and see what happens in September in your shoes - especially knowing they offered 21 places during September last year. I would also wait it out if I had younger siblings that I wanted to go to that school - as then you shouldn't have this problem next time round with the sibling link etc.

Children make friends so fast. My dd who is about to start 10 nearly has completely different set of friends from year 7.. don't worry too much. Good luck hope it works out for you.

redskytwonight · 21/08/2023 09:06

If you prefer the other school I would definitely move in the first few weeks of September. He won't have been at the other school long enough to settle, but can benefit from extra support at new school.

It's a harder decision if you get offered a place in (say) January - when's your cut off for when you wouldn't consider moving?

Original poster
Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 09:10

12345change · 21/08/2023 09:01

@Turquoiseturtle3 I would definitely wait and see what happens in September in your shoes - especially knowing they offered 21 places during September last year. I would also wait it out if I had younger siblings that I wanted to go to that school - as then you shouldn't have this problem next time round with the sibling link etc.

Children make friends so fast. My dd who is about to start 10 nearly has completely different set of friends from year 7.. don't worry too much. Good luck hope it works out for you.

Thank you - needed some reassurance!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 09:13

redskytwonight · 21/08/2023 09:06

If you prefer the other school I would definitely move in the first few weeks of September. He won't have been at the other school long enough to settle, but can benefit from extra support at new school.

It's a harder decision if you get offered a place in (say) January - when's your cut off for when you wouldn't consider moving?

I suppose it depends on what he thinks. Probably the first term would be ok but I’d really hope it was within the first few weeks of September. I do need to consider his younger brother as well. It’s so hard and really wish we weren’t in this situation!

OP posts:
JaukiVexnoydi · 21/08/2023 09:23

My biggest concern in your shoes would be that the uncertainty might mean that DC had a poor start at the non-top-choice offered-school because of viewing it as "just temporary" and then the hoped-for place never shows up and the DC have long-term consequences from not being mentally and emotionally engaged in those first few weeks.

I would be saying to DC let's work on the assumption that there's not going to be any last minute changes and this is your school. In the unlikely event that this changes we will think about it then, but lets not make any more plans.

If you get offered the other school, which does sound possible, the reason they get so far down the waiting list is that by 15th September some of the people higher up the list than you will get the offer, consider it carefully, and decide a move is not in their child's best interests, and so the offer trickles down until it's your turn to decide. You may decide the same. There will be some people on the waiting list who find during the first 2 weeks of the September term that all their worst fears have come true and the offered school really is as bad as all that, and those are the people who accept the late-offered waiting list places. Generally if the offered school is good, then staying put is better.

StillWantingADog · 21/08/2023 09:31

You never know. But as pp have said I would focus on ds getting excited about school and not assuming he will get moved . And put a move out of your mind and see what happens.

Original poster
Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 09:42

JaukiVexnoydi · 21/08/2023 09:23

My biggest concern in your shoes would be that the uncertainty might mean that DC had a poor start at the non-top-choice offered-school because of viewing it as "just temporary" and then the hoped-for place never shows up and the DC have long-term consequences from not being mentally and emotionally engaged in those first few weeks.

I would be saying to DC let's work on the assumption that there's not going to be any last minute changes and this is your school. In the unlikely event that this changes we will think about it then, but lets not make any more plans.

If you get offered the other school, which does sound possible, the reason they get so far down the waiting list is that by 15th September some of the people higher up the list than you will get the offer, consider it carefully, and decide a move is not in their child's best interests, and so the offer trickles down until it's your turn to decide. You may decide the same. There will be some people on the waiting list who find during the first 2 weeks of the September term that all their worst fears have come true and the offered school really is as bad as all that, and those are the people who accept the late-offered waiting list places. Generally if the offered school is good, then staying put is better.

Yes DC is aware of the situation. We are basically bigging up both schools. He is totally fine. He gets it. He was desperate for the first choice school but understands it might not happen and does really like the school he’s got. I guess I’ll have to impatiently wait until September and see what’s what.

OP posts:
Runningonjammiedodgers · 21/08/2023 09:48

Had this exact thing with my DC. After four days in the first school they were so happy and settled I didn't have the heart to move them and withdrew from the wait-list. We were number two on the list at the time. No regrets, like the current school and my DC is happy there. Getting them to school is a bit of a pain but we make to work.

Let them start school and see how it goes. Secondary school is a big thing, if they are happy and settled I would leave them where they are.

Original poster
Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 09:57

Runningonjammiedodgers · 21/08/2023 09:48

Had this exact thing with my DC. After four days in the first school they were so happy and settled I didn't have the heart to move them and withdrew from the wait-list. We were number two on the list at the time. No regrets, like the current school and my DC is happy there. Getting them to school is a bit of a pain but we make to work.

Let them start school and see how it goes. Secondary school is a big thing, if they are happy and settled I would leave them where they are.

Thanks for your insight. It’s very tricky as I feel like he will settle well at the current school. So hard, argh! I really wish it wasn’t an option but because it is, I can’t close the door to it.

OP posts:
curaçao · 21/08/2023 10:40

There will be some holding a state school place even though they fully intend to go private. Also some will have moved out of area abd not bothered to tell the school

Summerslimtime · 21/08/2023 10:52

Yes, but it's also a bulge year.

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/08/2023 11:04

What is wrong with the school
He has now

You said several things

Original poster
Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 11:25

curaçao · 21/08/2023 10:40

There will be some holding a state school place even though they fully intend to go private. Also some will have moved out of area abd not bothered to tell the school

Surely to get a new place they’d need to contact the new council who would release the old place? You can’t hold 2 state places so it would only be if going private?

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redskytwonight · 21/08/2023 11:46

Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 11:25

Surely to get a new place they’d need to contact the new council who would release the old place? You can’t hold 2 state places so it would only be if going private?

Show quote history

They don't necessarily have a place in the new area yet - but they definitely won't be taking up a place in the old one, but haven't yet told anyone. Or the notification is lost between LEAs/stuck in someone's "to do" list.

Every year, schools have students that just don't turn up and the school has no idea that they weren't coming.

RudsyFarmer · 21/08/2023 11:48

I think you need to accept he probably won’t be going to the first choice school if he’s slipped that many places. Try and embrace the school he is actually going to and let him settle in.

SortOfMaybe · 21/08/2023 11:54

At my DC's school quite a few from the primary joined in the first weeks of term once places came up and they're all doing fine. None of the Y7 clubs had even started yet so kids were still figuring out their forms and making friends. If you and your DS really like the school I would still make the move. Secondary school is a long time and I don't think friendships set that quickly in Y7.

Original poster
Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 12:00

SortOfMaybe · 21/08/2023 11:54

At my DC's school quite a few from the primary joined in the first weeks of term once places came up and they're all doing fine. None of the Y7 clubs had even started yet so kids were still figuring out their forms and making friends. If you and your DS really like the school I would still make the move. Secondary school is a long time and I don't think friendships set that quickly in Y7.

Thanks. That’s what I’m hoping! That’s what I’m thinks - 7 years vs the first few weeks. Plus his younger brother

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musicinspring1 · 21/08/2023 12:01

I would agree that friendships seem to chop and change in year 7. My DCs school streamed for certain subjects after Christmas which led to a natural shift in groups and friendships from January onwards.
They also had more school trips / enrichment activities in the summer term of year 7 when the weather was better. So if your preferred school does similar there would be mixing up / opportunities for team building after the usual September rush.

Original poster
Turquoiseturtle3 · 21/08/2023 12:05

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/08/2023 11:04

What is wrong with the school
He has now

You said several things

There are pros and cons to both schools. I don’t really want to list them all out as I know it will likely start a debate. I just prefer the school for many subjective reasons…The head, the facilities, the ethos, the fact they teach in ability groups, the commute, the layout/space, approach to discipline and subjects they offer at gcse/a-levels.

I’m sure he’ll be happy at both though at the end of the day as they are both good schools.

OP posts: