School shoes and bag for DD - Year 10

[Bhavika]

Hi everyone,

We have just moved back to the UK after living abroad for 10 years. My DD will be joining Year 10 at RMS in Rickmansworth and is quite anxious about 'fitting in'. School uniform guidelines state black shoes (no trainers or ballet shoes) and a navy blue backpack. She was previously allowed to wear black air force at her old school so is lost with what shoes to buy! Please can anyone help with styles/brands of shoes and backpacks that are 'in' with their teen daughters!
Thank you

I work in a school. The 'cool' kids wear Dr martens or those chunky loafer style shoes. Our school does allow trainers and some wear all black vans or converse black leather.
Bags wise, most girls use a tote. Usually river island or 'inspired by' Marc Jacobs, Vuitton etc. Their pe kit is carried in a branded shopping bag or a canvas tote

Lots of DDs friends in y11 wore brogue type shoes - hers were startrite, or dr Martens etc. lots of Eastpak rucksacks. No tote bags

Yeh Doc Martens are good for school shoes and quite trendy. Navy backpack is a tough one - black would be easier and girls IME prefer a tote, but if it has to be a navy backpack then I suggest a Nike one with a self-coloured swoosh. Nike backpacks have always lasted well here.

A lot of the girls from my teens school year 9 and up wear lace up ones from Clarkes or similar. With a tote style bag.

So dependent on schools unfortunately! No Dr Martens in my DD Y10. All in kickers.

In my DDs school, totes were only for the rather nasty popular girls, sorry!

Honestly, by y10 things matter less. All the private all girls schools around us have sensible ish lace up shoes and plain Eastpak type rucksacks. I remember a lot of angst about it in y7/8 but noone gave a monkeys by y10.

Dms in Dts school, the com kids have vans backpacks, the mean girls have totes.

It is very area dependent and school dependent

See if you can find any photos of older girls on their website.

This is very dependent on school. My DD who is in Y11 in Sept wears black air forces, and carries a black backpack with a small
Nike logo. Only the mean girls have tote bags (which are generally those corduroy style ones).

Sadly can confirm the mean-girl tote stereotype but as the school specify backpacks this won’t be an option anyway. In the school where I work Fjällräven Kånken are very popular with the cool-and-studious KS4 girls but it really is very specific to the school.

OP, there must be plenty of MNers with girls at RMS. Post again with the name of the school in the title to find some existing parents.

Finding the tote bag discussion interesting! My dd has a corduroy tote bag (as do many of her friends as far as I can tell) and she is definitely not mean! She is, however, fashion conscious and very much not into the portraying of a studious image (I would have been the opposite!) Surely possible to be trendy and fit in without being mean?!
Definitely prefer the tote bag to the other common option of carrying an overly grown-up handbag, which I find a bit sad.
(Sorry to derail thread...)

I would check the school website for advice. I work in a secondary school with very strict guidelines for shoes. Trainers and brand names are a big no and cause us a nightmare as form tutors as we have to ring the parents. My school day formal black school shoes. I was in Clarks this morning shopping for my sons school shoes for reception class and there was a teenage girl (I'd guess year 10) trying on shoes. I was impressed with the style options that she had. I don't know which ones she went for but it might be worth a trip to Clark's to have a look. There was much more choice than for my 4 yr old.

@celestebellman Sorry but in every school I worked in and went to, the tote bag girls were universally the mean girls. They call the kids with backpacks nerds etc. They're rarely mean on their own, it's the pack! I'm sure your DD is lovely. I'm glad our local schools make backpacks compulsory though. Totes are awful for growing backs too and in too many schools backpack= geek.

@Foxesandsquirrels well
when I was at school everyone had massive backpacks which it was obligatory to carry on one shoulder (or look like a geek..) which was probably also not great for backs/ posture 😂

I find the teenage tribes quite interesting - I guess everyone is trying to fit in, hence the tote bags; the people with the sensible backpacks are making a different statement (and maybe also derisive of the mean popular girls with the totes... after all, being a geek can also be cool!)
Glad I'm not a teenager any longer...

Re the shoe question, with the limitations given I would probably go for DMs. My dd and her tote bag wielding friends all wear the Vivienne Westwood ballet flats with the planets (though this may be another mean girl marker!)

@celestebellman indeed! I was the tote bag Vivienne Westwood flats girls too! I do believe the flats are also another mean girl sign 🙈I wasn't mean though, just wanted to fit in. Oh to be 14 and not care about your shoulders or feet!
I'm sure your DD is lovely.

🤣 I agree!
But if you’re not a mean girl or don’t want to be seen as one, don’t buy the kit!!

I have wondered in the past if the parents of the mean girls (and boys) know that their child is ‘mean’!

My DD is going into Year 9 and I feel she is a wannabe mean girl as she’s asked for Vivienne Westwood pumps and a River Island tote for this year.

Her school is no trainers but the ubiquitous shoes are VW pumps or Dr Martens.

Both my DDs moved schools for sixth form cos of the ‘ tote’ girls. Don’t fool yourselves into believing they’re not all mean….. if they want to fit in ….

I realise it's possible to be in denial if your child is mean/ not pleasant! I am pretty sure my dd is not a 'mean girl' although like all other teenagers, both cool and not, she is not perfect! Most of her friends would also fit this description I think, though I am aware of who the likely 'mean girls' are (not her particular friends but loosely associated) and they appear to be the ones who are always falling out with each other and scrabbling for hierarchy in their specific 'friendship group'.

My dds school is pretty much black converse so can't help with shoes but both dds have herschel XL backpacks and I must say they are the nicest and best quality school bags I've ever bought. Eldest has a navy one it's got lovely red and white stripey lining .
I might actually get myself one for work.

Kickers or DMs shoes.
Eastpak or Kanken backpack.

School doesn't allow trainers or ballet pumps and students are required to have a backpack.

DD's school banned totes, it's only backpacks. Hers was a Jansport, the only bag which actually survived a whole year.

Shoes - she has Geox lace ups. Doc Martens are worn but not by the majoiry I think.

I think asking a local FB group for parents of girls attending the school is your best bet.